Chap. XIX Other Considerations in Favour of Drunkenness
Drunkenness will (and ought to do so) appear excusable to people the most sober, if they would but make these two reflections following, viz.
I. That Drunkards Are Not Generally Given to Lewdness
Aristotle says, “That too much drinking makes one very improper for the acts of Venus, and gives his reasons. Athenæus reports the same thing in that passage, where he makes mention of the drunkenness of Alexander the Great, a vice,” says he, “which, perhaps, was the cause of his little inclination for the ladies.”
Montaigne1 speaks very well on this article, “These,” says he, “are two things which vigorously oppose each other; this weakens our stomach on one hand; whereas, on the other, sobriety serves to make us more quaint and delicate in the exercise of love.”
Ovid2 says much the same thing.
“Vina parant animum veneri, nisi plurima sumas,
Ut stupeant multo corda sepulta mero.”
Wine, not too much, inspires, and makes the mind
To the soft joys of Venus strong inclin’d,
Which buried in excess, unapt to love,
Stupidly lies, and knows not how to move.
II. That in Those Countries Where They Do Not Drink to Excess, They Are Very Much Addicted to Debauchery
It is certain, that in hot countries they drink a great deal less than they do in cold, but in lieu of that, lewdness reigns much more. Montaigne3, after having observed, that they began to drink less than they used to do, adds, “Does any one think it tends to amendment? No, indeed; but, perhaps, we are much more given to whoring than our forefathers.”
This puts me in mind of an Italian, who having reproached a German with the drunkenness of his country, by these verses, viz.
“Germani multos possunt tolerare labores
O utinam possint tam tolerare sitim.”
The Germans (patient) toil, inur’d to pain,
Oh! could they but their thirst so well sustain!
The German answered him extempore in these other two:—
“Ut nos vitis amor, sic vos Venus improba vexat
Est data lex veneri Julia, nulla mero.”
As we love wine, so wicked Venus you,
Twas this, not that, the Julian Edict knew.
In order to draw a consequence from all this, let us speak once more of Montaigne4, whose words are, “And if we cannot give any pleasure but what costs us something, as the ancients maintain, I find this vice costs the conscience less than all the rest, besides, it is in this respect no despicable consideration, that a man advanced in honours, amongst three principal conveniencies of life, that he told me he yet enjoyed, he reckoned this for one.”
After having shewn, in the foregoing chapters, That drunkenness reigns all the world over, Nulla in parte mundi cessat ebrietas. Let us see what we may hence infer in its favour: and I ask, if the agreement of so many different nations, to do one and the same thing, proves nothing, and may not, in some measure, serve as an apology for drunkenness? For if one considers, that the surprising variety of the humour and temperament of men, do, notwithstanding, in nowise hinder them from agreeing unanimously in this point, one shall have a very strong temptation to believe, that the desire of getting drunk is an innate quality, and we shall be confirmed in this sentiment, after tasting experimentally the exquisite sweetness caused by drunkenness.
To conclude,
All drink, throughout the universe, ’tis plain,
The moon drinks up the sea, the earth the rain,
The sun the air, and ev’ry tree, we know,
The earth’s prolific juice imbibes to grow.
The air sups up the water too, ’tis said,
Why then, my dearest friends, d’ye plague my head,
And angry grow, because, dry soul5, I swill
New wine, drink fit for gods, and quaff my fill.
1. Essais, l. ii. ch. 2.
2. De Remed. Amor.
3. Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.
4. Essais, liv. ii. ch. 2.
5. Anima mea non potest habitare in sicco. S. Aug.