More About Teddy B. and Teddy G., the Roosevelt Bears

The Roosevelt Bears See the Wax Musee

At eight o’clock the following day
    The postman left, the bell boys say,
        A hundred letters for each Roosevelt Bear,
          From East and West and everywhere:
          Letters from friends at their mountain glen
          Telling of trouble with hunting men.

A letter from the teacher of the Kansas school
With sums worked out and giving a rule
For answering the questions which TEDDY-B
Had given the class in geography.

A letter from the farmer where they spent a day
    Asking them sure to return that way.
        It said that the bull which scared them blue
          Would be tied by the nose when they came through.
          A lawyer wrote demanding cash
          For the old balloon that went to smash.

A Niagara lad sent local news
    And an envelope filled with Niagara views.
        A sophomore wrote to TEDDY-G
          To ask how he liked his L-D degree.

Priscilla Alden sent a little note
Which said she was glad their little boat
Carried them through the storm so nice
And landed them safe on the berg of ice.

Letters in dozens from girls and boys
          Sending them books and candy and toys
          To give away when they wanted to treat
          Deserving lads like Muddy Pete.

The last letter opened by TEDDY-B
Was an invitation to the Wax Musee,
To visit the show that day at three.

“I’ll hire a machine,” said TEDDY-G,
“And answer my mail by electricity.
There’s one at work on the floor below,
Where you feed in letters and let it go.

I’ve seen the writing of this machine,
    Like a printed page in blue and green;
        And the girl who owns it said that she
          Would give a typewriting lesson free.”

Said TEDDY-B, “I’m afraid you’re wrong,
          But if you want to try I’ll go along.”
          So down they went to try their luck
          At printing letters like a book.

The girl was out; the machine was there;
      TEDDY-G sat down on the little chair
          And started in with all his might
          To pound the keys and make them write;
          While TEDDY-B at every call
          Fed in a letter, envelope and all.

“This machine writes Greek,” said TEDDY-B,
    As he picked up the letters the type to see;
        “At least the language is new to me:
Chicago is spelled without a C,
And Boston has neither S nor T;

And Priscilla Alden would make you sick,
She’s like a problem in arithmetic;
And that Kansas teacher is doing some tricks
With question marks and the figure 6;

And that farmer man, no one will blame
If he shoots us both when he sees his name.
You wrote this lawyer about the old balloon
In dollar signs enough to buy the moon.”

But TEDDY-G went straight ahead
While the machine by TEDDY-B was fed
Until every letter that both Bears had
Was answered some way, good or bad.

’Twas three o’clock when they left to see
The mysteries of the Wax Musee.

They found Buster Brown in the entrance hall
And a cat climbing up the building wall
With Tige below looking up at puss
And Buster’s mother trying to stop the fuss.
  “Good afternoon,” said TEDDY-B,
    “Is this Buster Brown and Tige I see?”
      (Tige gave Buster a knowing wink
        Which put him wise and made him think.)

“The Roosevelt Bears! I’ve heard of you;
TEDDY-B and G! How do you do!
You’re the jolliest bears I ever saw.”
    And Buster shook each by the paw
    While Tige seemed glad that he was near
    And put on a smile from ear to ear.

“You come with us,” said Buster Brown,
“We know this place, upstairs and down;
There are people here in smiles and tears
Who haven’t changed for a hundred years.
We’ll make those laugh who look so sad
And the merry ones we’ll make them mad.”

But Buster’s mother made him stay
Right where he was in wax and clay;
And Tige looked round for a place to hide
As the Roosevelt Bears passed on inside.

They saw the eagle which stole the child
  And carried it up in the mountains wild.
    They stopped for a moment to see the King
      And to ask Madame Patti if she would sing.

They saw Emperor William in a soldier suit,
      But to all their questions he was deaf and mute;
          So TEDDY-G, to make him look gay,
          Turned the tails of his moustache the other way.

At the Roman Forum, TEDDY-B spoke out
        And asked Mark Antony what ’twas all about:
          This Roman crowd and Cæsar slain
          And why they were doing the thing again.

And thus they went from place to place
          Looking at people of every race
          And crimes committed and prisoners hung
          And no complaint from any tongue.

At the lions’ den TEDDY-G was wild;
A lion had killed a little child:
“I’ll go right in and smash his face.”
But a man who was there to guard the place

Spoke up and said, “That lion in there
Is not afraid of a Roosevelt Bear;

He’s made of wax, and that savage look
He wears all the time like a picture book.”

But TEDDY-G replied that he,
If he owned the place, would let folks see
That lions who did such things as they
Shouldn’t live at all in wax or clay.

Then on they went upstairs to guess
    How Ajab played his game of chess.

Said TEDDY-G, “See if you can
Play checkers with this wooden man;
And while you play I’ll take off the lid
And find out where the man is hid.”

Three games were played and TEDDY-B
          Won every one so fast that he
          Made the wooden eyes flow free with tears,
          The first time in a hundred years.

TEDDY-G looked at him from head to heels,
    And his side door opened to see the wheels,
        And the man’s mainspring and his wooden heart
          He examined with care and took apart,
          But he couldn’t find out high or low
          How this man of wood made the checkers go.

TEDDY-B was polite and said “Good-bye;”
    And the man got up and wiped his eye,
          And held out his hand as well ’s he could,
          (It had several pieces all made of wood)
          And said, “Your playing was pretty good.”

As the Bears passed out of the Wax Musee
          A paper was handed to TEDDY-G
          Which read like this in printing bold:

“Resolved, That mothers should never scold,
For boys are wax and scoldings stick
And impressions can’t be rubbed out quick.

Resolved, That the world was made for play,
And that boys and bears should have their way,
When fun is needed the blues to down.”

Signed by Tige and Buster Brown.

The four took hands to skip and sing,
And dance around in a jolly ring.
Folks crowded near inside and out
To see what the fun was all about.
A thousand shoppers on the street
Paused as they passed the Bears to meet.

A speech was asked from TEDDY-B
As he stepped to the door the crowd to see:
          “The U. S. boys and girls are ours;
          They’re made of sunshine, love and flowers,
          We’re bound with them to scatter blues
          And we’re here to-day to spread the news.”
When TEDDY-B these things had said
    He Buster’s Resolution read,
        While Tige and Buster inside the door,
          Became wax again as they were before.