More About Teddy B. and Teddy G., the Roosevelt Bears

The Roosevelt Bears in Pittsburg

They were on the train and at their ease
When the conductor called out “Tickets, please.”
“We have no tickets,” said TEDDY-G,
“But cash we have, as you will see,
And to Washington we want to go
      To see the President and to let him know
      That we are fully satisfied
      That Uncle Sam is tall and wide
      And big around, of mighty girth,
      The greatest show on all the earth;
      His boys and girls are full of fun
      From Omaha to Washington.”

But the conductor said, “You ought to know
If to Washington you want to go
You’ve started wrong; this train you’re on
Is a Pittsburg special from Washington;
      And to-morrow morning, if we’re not late,
          You’ll be in Pittsburg at half-past eight.”

The Bears looked dazed and then looked mad,
And then they laughed and both looked glad.

Said TEDDY-B, “Pay up the fares;
We’ll pass to-morrow as millionaires
And found a library and put through a deal
Of high finance in oil or steel.”

But TEDDY-G didn’t think so far;
He thought of night and the sleeping car;

He recalled some cranky things he said
    When they made him sleep in an upper bed
        On a train out West, and the banjo song,
          And the things they did a little wrong
          Till both were put right off the train
          On a Kansas farm in a shower of rain.

The conductor heard this wise remark:
      “If on this train, when the night is dark,
          You want this Bear to behave himself,
          Don’t make him sleep on a Pullman shelf.”

But the trip was made without mishap
And both the Bears enjoyed a nap
In lower berths till eight o’clock,
When the porter gave their berths a knock
And said, “Get up; it’s broad day light;
The Iron City is now in sight.”

But things outside looked black as night
And said TEDDY-B, “Do you mean to say
That this is Pittsburg and this is day?”

The man replied, “Get up; that’s smoke;
Take my advice and when you joke
About this town, don’t do it loud,
          For Pittsburg people live in a cloud,
          And their ideas about a bear
          May be colored some by Pittsburg air.”
          “What’s that you say?” called TEDDY-G,
          “You seem to know your geography,
          But let me say right here and now,
          I’ll teach your Pittsburg people how
To dance and sing, to laugh and joke,
        In mountain air or city smoke,
          For they must know this very day
          That Pittsburg too was made for play.”

They took a cab to a big hotel
    Where things are done both smart and swell;
        And breakfast over, TEDDY-B

On mischief bent, went out to see
    What the telegraph and phone could do
          To get a crowd their tricks to view.

He called up schools, every one in town,
          And ordered all the children down
          To the Old Block House at noon to see
          The Teddy Bears teach history.

Then on the Mayor he played a lark
      By ordering the police to Schenley Park,
          To be locked up there till after dark;
          “For,” said TEDDY-B, “the police you know
          Might spoil our little Block House show.”

At costume shops each Teddy Bear
Bought a lot of Indian things to wear.
They planned at the Old Block House to meet
At the corner of a near-by street,
          And from that spot like Indians race
          And take possession of the place.
          They did the trick in Wild West style;
          Their whoops and yells were heard a mile;

But the fight was short; no one to scare;
There wasn’t a soul there anywhere.
They made the place from roof to floor
          Like seventeen hundred and sixty-four
          And put things into shape to fool
          The boys and girls from every school.

The children came, five thousand strong,
A happy, merry, lively throng;

The little ones by teachers led
To study history, they said,

But the history lesson learned that day
Was livelier stuff, the fellows say,

Than most boys learn at public school;
          For it didn’t follow any rule,
          But just shot off with laughter loud
          In every corner of the crowd.

The Teddy Bears, as Indians brave,
        Did everything but behave:
          They chased each other round the Block
          With bow and arrow and tomahawk;

They climbed to the roof and danced a jig
    And called to children small and big
        To catch the arrows every time
          And bring them back and get a dime;
          And then to finish up the sport
          They asked the boys to take the fort:
          The boys to be the soldiers bold
          And they as Indians the place to hold.

In this the boys came out ahead;
        The Bears pretended they were dead,
          While the boys to do the thing up well
          Sent two dead Bears to the hotel.
          In half an hour they lived again
          And were out on bicycles for a spin;

This time to see men making steel,
And in Highland Park to have a wheel,
And to see the Zoo and the Bridge of Sighs,
And Luna Park, where they won the prize.

In the afternoon they put up a lark
At the entrance gate of Highland Park.
A little lad who flew a kite
Had got the string caught good and tight
On the entrance post when TEDDY-G
Climbed up the post and said that he
Would untie the knot and start the kite
Up to the sky and out of sight.

A rope was lying twirled around
Where workmen left it on the ground,
And TEDDY-G as quick as wink
And before the men had time to think
Caught up the rope and made it tight
    From post to post, from left to right,
        And out he went like a circus clown
          And whirled around, head up and down,
          And walked the rope and made more play
          Than folks had seen for many a day.

At six o’clock they said good-bye
          To busy streets and smoky sky
          And to boys and girls for the day of fun
          And started back towards Washington.

Said TEDDY-B, as a town they passed
      Where furnaces made fiery blast,
          “I’d rather be a Teddy Bear
          Than stand that heat and work in there;
          But this old world was made, they say,
          So that men would work and bears could play.”