More About Teddy B. and Teddy G., the Roosevelt Bears

The Roosevelt Bears Visit the Zoo

Said TEDDY-G, “The thing to do,”
    As they reached the high fence round the Zoo,
      In the early morning, about half-past two,
      “Is to get in there with this load of cake
      Before the keepers are wide awake.”
      “You climb the fence,” said TEDDY-B,
      “And throw this rope back here to me,
      And pull up the baskets one by one
        And we’ll land in there a good-sized ton
          Of the finest cake that was ever made,
          And strawberry tarts and lemonade
          And cherry pie and sugar sticks
          And red ice cream in good-sized bricks
          And peanut candy and chocolate eclairs
        And other things quite new to bears.”

“Don’t waste your time in telling me;
I bought these things,” said TEDDY-G;
And up he climbed, with business sense,
A tree which grew beside the fence,

And out a limb and dropped below
          And called out, “All right; I’m in; let go.”
          And up went baskets two by two
          Over the fence into the Zoo;

And before the day began to break
    The Bears had camped with their load of cake
        On a grassy knoll where they couldn’t hide
          And with dens and pens on every side.
          “We’re in here now,” said TEDDY-B;
          “What do you say we do?” said he.

“Let’s feed the animals,” said TEDDY-G;
    “I move we let out two or three
        And bring them here and feed them cake
          And see just how our show will take;
          And if they are pleased, why we’ll go round
          And let loose everything on the ground.”

To the elephant house the two Bears went
        And stirred up the biggest elephant,
          And marched him over to their cake
          Before he had time to get half awake.

“You mind these things,” said TEDDY-G,
“Our breakfast hour is half-past three.
    If you are good you can have a snack
        To keep you chewing till we come back.”
          And they gave old Bolivar (that was his name)
          Some things to eat till back they came.

Then off they went to the monkey cage
Where monkeys of every size and age
Were using hands and feet and lungs
And saying good-morning in a thousand tongues.

TEDDY-B made them promise they’d be good
(At least that’s what he understood)
If he’d open the cage and let them out
And give them an hour to run about.

“We have,” said he, “some pie and cake
      Which TEDDY-G will undertake
          To serve out free in an hour or two
          To every animal in the Zoo.

We’ll give you as much as you deserve
If you’ll act as waiters and help us serve.”
The monkeys grinned from ear to ear
And winked at each other a little queer,
And nodded their heads and seemed to say
That the two Bears’ orders they’d obey.

The cage was opened and the crowd went out,
Little and big, with laugh and shout,
Upsetting each other across the green,
The funniest bunch that was ever seen.

The Bears went then to the beaver pond

And told the beavers if they were fond

Of good ice cream served by baboons

To bring on their tails to use for spoons.

They saw some foxes red and gray
And asked them to dine with them that day.
The wolves looked hungry and said they’d see
That all left over was given them free.

          The rhinoceros couldn’t accept their treat;
          He had some rheumatics in his feet.
        But in a cage near-by a kangaroo
Jumped twenty feet when they let him through.

An ostrich standing six feet high
          Called out to the Bears as they went by
          To hurry around with a piece of pie.

Two mountain goats with curling horn
Said the mountain crest where they were born,

Their father rented just for thanks
To the Roosevelt Bears to play their pranks,

And this they thought was cause indeed
Why they should be asked to the morning feed.

A hedgehog and a porcupine
Were the next pair asked by the Bears to dine,
Then a dromedary chewing his cud
Said he wouldn’t budge from where he stood,

But if they’d bring him a piece of cake
He’d see if he liked their kind of bake.

From there they went to the animals’ cage
        Where they found the tigers in a rage
          And the lions roaring to beat the band
          In language the Bears didn’t understand.

A chimpanzee came near to see
And he made a face at TEDDY-G.
He was eating pie and said he feared
That their basket lunch had disappeared.

The Bears took warning and started back
To find ten keepers on their track,
And animals both big and small
Running wild on every mall,
And Bolivar with his trumpet loud
Calling for help to stop the crowd.

The monkeys had gone in a solid bunch
      And captured the whole of the picnic lunch,
          And out on limbs and high up on poles,
          And on top of roofs and into holes,
          And every monkey with cake or jam,
          Or pie or tart or sandwich ham,

Or nuts or lemonade or cheese;
      And Bolivar shaking poles and trees,
          And hungry wolves and the kangaroo,
          And mountain goats and a deer or two
          Running wild from place to place,
          Helping on the monkey chase.

’Twas noon that day when keepers ten
        And a police brigade of fifty men,
          And a hundred boys and firemen six
          Got the monkey troupe to stop their tricks.

The Bears looked on throughout the show
    And helped on the fun by laughing so
        For TEDDY-G, since he was a cub,
          Or at Bunker Hill down in the Hub,
          Said that making fun seemed to be his forte
          And that he never had such lively sport.

But the keeper made him change his laugh
        When he locked them up with a big giraffe
          And told them to stay and pay a fine
          When the police court met next day at nine.