Ejaculations
On being asked to play Croquet, A.D. 1894.
[“It is impossible to visit any part of the country without realising the fact that the long-discredited game of Croquet is fast coming into vogue again.... This is partly owing to the abolition of ‘tight croqueting.’”—Pall Mall Gazette.]
Eh? What? Why? How?
Are we back in the Sixties again?
I am rubbing my eyes—is it then, or now?
I’m a Rip Van Winkle, it’s plain!
Hoop, Ball, Stick, Cage?
Eh, fetch them all out once more?
Why, look, they’re begrimed and cracked with age,
And their playing days are o’er!
Well—yes—here goes
For a primitive chaste delight!
Let us soberly, solemnly beat our foes,
For Croquet’s no longer “tight”!
Young Ladies. “Going to make a flower-bed here, Smithers? Why, it’ll quite spoil our croquet ground!” Gardener. “Well, that’s yer Pa’s orders, Miss! He’ll hev’ it laid out for ‘orticultur’, not for ‘usbandry’”.