An Act of Confidence
“Now there was leaning on the bosom of Jesus one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.”— John , xiii. 16. What a glorious privilege was this which St. John had! What consolation must he not have felt from the impression of the Divinity! What delightful repose! Pour forth thy heart, as he did his, into that of Jesus, and abandon thyself to the most lively sentiments of confidence.
Behold! here he is, then, the treasure of my soul! I am now in possession of the Sovereign Good! O what advantage upon earth can be compared to this? What glory! what comfort! to feel my God so near me! “My soul hath found whom she loveth: I have hold of him, nor will I let him go.”—Cant, iv. The first thought, O God! with which thy presence inspires me, is a sentiment of adoration and respect. Permit me, then, in union with the blessed in heaven, to offer thee my most profound homage. Yes, under these sacred veils, where thy love for me hath concealed the splendour of thy Majesty, I most humbly adore thee. I acknowledge thee as my master, my creator, and the supreme arbiter of my eternal destiny. The less thou wouldst make thyself for my sake, the more real respect and veneration have I for thee. But these thoughts are absorbed in the greatness of my confidence. This I cannot contain, nor yet am I able to express it. If thou takest pleasure in, if thou even enjoinest us to place our trust in thee, is it not in this mystery, where thou dost communicate thyself without reserve, where thou literally verifiest that tender promise of treating us no longer as servants, but as friends? These words, which thou never didst address to thy angels or prophets, thou dost accomplish for sinners in this sacrament: yes, it would be an insult offered to thee, not to have the greatest hopes in thy mercy; for it is not here, O God, that thou exercisest thy justice; thou art glorious in heaven! all-powerful on earth! and terrible in hell! but in the Eucharist, thou art mild, consoling, sweet, and liberal. Ah! what canst thou refuse me, when thou hast given me thyself? and where is the confidence that can be too tender? Why should I envy the beloved disciple who leaned on thy breast at thy last supper, for dost thou not at present rest in my heart? O let me, then, be for ever inviolably attached to thee. Let the sweets of thy presence so captivate my soul, that disgusted with sin, it may be fixed in the contemplation of thee alone, and listen with docility to thy holy inspirations. “All you, then, that doubt of the goodness of God, come now and learn! come and admire! come and taste with me his infinite mercies! come and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will tell you what great things he hath done for my soul!”—Psalm xiv. Who would have believed it? What! one of his disciples, not prostrate at his feet, but reclining upon his breast, and honoured with his particular affection! Yes, all this he hath done for him, and is ready to do the same for me also. “Behold the Lord my Saviour; I will act confidently, and I will not fear.”—Isaias, ii. “The mercies of the Lord I will sing for ever.”—Psalm, lxxviii.