After the Bull-Fight
Beg pardon, Mr. Magistrate, but it was as my husband tells it, for he stayed at home with Alfonsa and the baby, who was asleep, and he knew nothing about what happened.”
“Then, do you tell me how it happened.”
“I, sir? Well, you see, your Worship, an honest woman and do know how to explain myself well; but that gentleman there is my husband, and his conduct is such as your Honour sees, always drunk and out of work.”
“Come to the point.”
“Well, I’m coming; the cause of it all is a friend of the family and very intimate, as every one knows, and they call him Malgesto, and he can thrust a banderilla11 into the morning star, much less into a bull; well, as I was saying, the same had told me: ‘Paca, I won’t have my lady friends look at el Chato, and if I see them do it, I’ll cut off the little nose he has left.’“All right!” said I, “but as you see, your Lordship or your Worship, taste is taste, and in no catechism have I seen it called a sin to look at somebody; so la Curra, who evil tongues say is Malgesto’s wife, and I paid no attention, you see, and....”
“Go on, you went to the bull-fight with the other man.”
“Tha just it, since he hired a fly and took me and la Curra, so that we might not go alone, and everybody would have done the same, and I....”
“To the point, to the point.”
“The point is a needle’s point, as one says, for take my word for it, the other from the arena never takes his eyes off us the whole time, and he placed the darts in a cross, and cursed them with gestures towards us, from which Heaven deliver us.”
“But at last....”
“At last the last bull was despatched as usual, and we all went away in peace and the grace of God, when as we were going out el Chato disappeared somehow, and I who expected to meet him at the door of the fly, who do you think I met? nobody more nor less than the banderillero, who said, ‘Ungrateful woman, is this how you obey my orders?’I said to him... but no, I said nothing to him then, as if I were afraid, but I just shrugged my shoulders, and I do know if I did anything else. He answered nothing, except two or three oaths and a little blasphemy, and then seizing la Curra, he lifted her violently into the cab, and then he pushed me in, saying: ‘If you do go in I’ll kill el Chato’ and I, you see, your Honour, a decent woman, and do want anybody’s death.”
“And so what did you do?”
“What could I do? I got in.”
“And afterwards?”
“Afterwards came the row, for la Curra began to grumble, and so did I, he to keep us quiet gave us each two or three cuffs; and then we began to call him names and call each other names, for your Honour knows defence is only natural; to finish up, the horse took fright and nearly upset us; but at last we got out in the Calle del Barquillo; he set off running, la Curra after him, and tha the last I’ve seen of them.”
“So that you have nothing more to allege?”
“Nothing more.”
“And you swear to this?”
“I swear that I am a respectable woman, incapable of scandalous behaviour, though at times a poor female ca help... but now I want to complain to your Worship, for I too have my wrongs.”
“Let us hear them.”
“In the first place I complain of all my neighbours, for they have stolen all I had in the house, inside and outside.”
“And how can you prove?”
“I can prove the things are gone, which is the principal thing; secondly, I complain of my husband, who does protect me in my danger; thirdly, I complain of la Curra for fourteen scratches and ten pinches, not to mention some kicks; besides this I complain of the policeman, who took me to prison only because I pulled a face at him on St. Anthony’s day,12 when he tried to make love to me; lastly, I complain of your Worship, who are Justice of the Peace for this ward, and——”
“Silence, you baggage, or by Heavens I’ll put a gag in your mouth which it won’t be so easy to shake off.”
“What is it, constable?”
“Notice has just been brought, sir, that two men have been fighting with knives in front of Mother Alfons tavern, and are both badly wounded.”
“Who are they?”
“El Chato and Malgesto.”
“Scenes in Madrid.” Mesonero Romanos (El Curioso Parlante) (1803-1882).