Scorching John
JOHN, who rode his Dunlop tire
O’er the head of sweet Maria,
When she writhed in frightful pain,
Had to blow it out again.
Misfortunes Never Come Singly
MAKING toast at the fireside,
Nurse fell in the grate and died;
And, what makes it ten times worse,
All the toast was burned with nurse.
The Perils of Obesity
YESTERDAY my gun exploded
When I thought it wasn’t loaded;
Near my wife I pressed the trigger,
Chipped a fragment off her figure;
’Course I’m sorry, and all that,
But she shouldn’t be so fat.
“Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven’t the heart to poke poor Billy.”