The Fond Father
OF Baby I was very fond,
She’d won her father’s heart;
So, when she fell into the pond,
It gave me quite a start.
Necessity
LATE last night I slew my wife,
Stretched her on the parquet flooring;
I was loath to take her life,
But I had to stop her snoring.
Unselfishness
ALL those who see my children say,
“What sweet, what kind, what charming elves!”
They are so thoughtful, too, for they
Are always thinking of themselves.
It must be ages since I ceased
To wonder which I liked the least.
Such is their generosity,
That, when the roof began to fall,
They would not share the risk with me,
But said, “No, father, take it all!”
Yet I should love them more, I know,
If I did not dislike them so.