Bowing
Men, When leaving a woman at the door of her house, he bows and retires as the door is opened.
When seeing a woman to her carriage, he
should raise his hat on closing the door.
On a railroad a man removes his hat in a
parlor-car, but not in a day coach.
In street-cars a man should raise his hat when giving his seat to a woman; also when rendering a service to a woman in public, in answering a question, or in apologizing to a woman.
In elevators, when women are present,
the hat should be removed.
In hotel halls or corridors a man passing
a woman should raise his hat.
Men do not raise their hats to one another, save out of deference to an elderly person, a person of note, or a clergyman.
In driving, if impossible to raise the hat, he should touch it with his whip.
The hat is gracefully lifted from the head, brought to the level of the chest, and the body inclined forward, and then replaced in passing.
It is the woman’s privilege to bow first if it is a mere acquaintance. If, however, a woman bows, and the man fails to recognize her, he should bow in return.
A man may bow first to a very intimate friend.
Meeting a woman to whom he has been introduced at an entertainment, he should wait until she bows first.
After bowing to a woman, the man may join her, and with her permission may walk a short distance with her.
He should not stand in the street and converse with her any length of time. She may excuse herself and pass on. He should not feel affronted.
If he meets a woman he does not know accompanied by a man he does know, both men bow.
The man accompanying her should bow to every man or woman to whom she bows.
WOMEN. A woman’s bow should be dignified— a faint smile and a gentle inclination of the head.
Women bow first to men when meeting in the street. A man may bow first if the acquaintance is intimate.
When walking with a man, and they meet another unknown to her, but known to her escort, both men bow. If she meets a friend, man or woman, unknown to her escort, he bows.
Unless an introduction has taken place at any function, no recognition is customary. It is the woman’s privilege, however, to decide for herself whether she will recognize the guest or not.
A man bowing and joining a woman on the street must ask permission to do so. She is at perfect liberty to gracefully decline.
If a man stops to talk on the street, she may excuse herself and pass on. If she continues the conversation and he stands with his hat in his hand, she may request him to replace it. Such conversations should be brief.
BREAD should be broken into small pieces, buttered, and transferred with the fingers to the mouth. The bread should be placed on the small plate provided for the purpose.
BREAKFASTS. Breakfasts are generally given from ten to twelve in the morning. Very formal breakfasts are held at twelve o’clock.
CALLS. A call need not be made after a simple
breakfast, but obligatory after a formal one.
DRESS. Street costumes are worn by men and
women.
GUESTS. Guests leave half an hour after the
breakfast.
HOURS. The hour is from 12 to 12.30.
INVITATIONS. Cards are engraved and sent a week in advance for formal breakfasts, but for informal breakfasts they may be written. If given in honor of a special guest, the name is engraved on the card—as, TO MEET MR. WILSON.
MEN. Men are usually invited, and they are often given for men. Men wear street costume.
Guests should leave half an hour after breakfast. A call is not necessary after a simple breakfast, but obligatory after a formal one.
MEN LEAVING CARDS. After a breakfast a man should leave a card for host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. Or it may be sent by mail or messenger, with an apology for so doing.
WOMEN. Women wear street costume, including gloves, the latter being taken off at table. Women remove their coats and wraps, but not bonnets.
Guests should leave half an hour after breakfast. A call is not necessary after a simple breakfast, but obligatory after a formal one.
WEDDING. See WEDDING RECEPTIONS OR BREAKFASTS.
BREAKING DINNER ENGAGEMENTS. When it is absolutely necessary to break an engagement made for a dinner, a letter should be sent as soon as possible to the hostess, either by special delivery or messenger, giving the reason and expressing regrets.
BRIDE. The bride selects the church and the clergyman, and can, if she wishes, ask the latter personally or by note to perform the ceremony. She selects the music for the ceremony and the organist, names the wedding day, and selects the ushers and the bridesmaids. Of the bridesmaids, she may select one, some near friend, as the maid of honor, to act for her, as the best man does for the groom.
She further designates one of the ushers to be master of ceremonies, and should instruct him minutely as to the details she desires carried out-how the wedding party shall enter the church, proceed up the aisle, etc.
A few days before the wedding she gives a dinner to the bridesmaids and maid of honor, who take this opportunity to examine the trousseau. The ushers, best man, and groom may come after the dinner to attend the wedding rehearsal. These rehearsals should be gone through carefully, and if they can be held at the church so much the better. Each person should be instructed by note as to their duties, as this prevents confusion.
CHURCH. On the wedding-day, after receiving
the bridesmaids and maid of honor at her
house, she goes to the church with her father
(or nearest male relative), and leans upon his
arm as they proceed up the aisle, following
the bridesmaids, and carrying her bridal bouquet
(or, if she wishes, a prayer-book).
Arriving at the chancel, she leaves her father and steps forward to take the left arm of the groom, who advances from the chancel to meet her. They stand before the clergyman, and, if they wish, may kneel, and upon rising stand about a foot apart.
At the words of the ceremony, “Who giveth this woman away?” or, “To be married to this man?” her father advances and places her right hand in that of the clergyman, who places it in the groom’s right hand. After this her father retires to his seat in the pew with his family.
When the plighting of the troth comes, the groom receives the ring from the best man and hands it to the bride, who gives it to the clergyman. He returns it to the groom, who then places it on the third finger of the bride’s left hand. When plighting the troth, the bride gives her glove and bouquet to the maid of honor, or, what is better, the finger of the glove may be cut to allow the ring to be placed on without the glove being removed.
The kiss at the altar is no longer in good form.
At the end of the ceremony, after the clergyman has congratulated the married couple, the bride takes her husband’s right arm and they lead the procession to the vestibule, where they receive the congratulations of near friends. Here the maid of honor and bridesmaids cloak and prepare the bride for the trip home in the groom’s carriage.
DRESS. The bride is veiled, and is dressed in white-full dress, day or evening. Gloves need not be worn in the church. The bridesmaids provide their own outfit, unless the bride asks them to dress in a style of her own selecting. In this case, she supplies them gowns, hats, gloves, and shoes, as she may wish.
FAREWELL LUNCHEON. While a farewell luncheon given to the bridesmaids by the bride is not necessary, yet it is a pleasant way for a woman to entertain her female friends the last time in her father’s house.
On this occasion it is a good plan for the bride to give to the maid of honor and brides-maids her souvenirs, which, of course, should be alike, and of use at the wedding ceremony.
GIFTS. The bride may give to the groom a ring as an engagement ring if she wishes. She should make suitable gifts to the bridesmaids as souvenirs of the occasion, and may also present them with flowers. If she presents boutonnieres to the best man and the ushers, they should appear at her house before the ceremony and have her place them in the lapel of their coats.
She should acknowledge immediately the
receipt of all wedding gifts.
GLOVES. The bride need not wear gloves in the
church.
INVITATIONS. At a church wedding the bride
usually provides the bridesmaids with extra
invitations for their personal use.
KISS. Only the parents of the bride and her
most intimate relatives should kiss the bride.
It is now no longer good form for all to do so.
SEEING GROOM ON WEDDING-DAY. It is not customary for the bride to see the groom on the wedding-day till she meets him at the altar.
WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and groom occupy the centre one of the small tables.
At all wedding breakfasts it is customary for the guests to assemble in the drawing-room, and then to enter the breakfast-room together—the bride and groom leading the way.
It is not usual to have the bridal cake at a wedding breakfast, but if such is the case, the bride makes the first cut, and the slices are given first to those at the bridal table.
WEDDING RECEPTION. She should stand by her husband’s side to receive the best wishes of all present. The guests are not announced, but are introduced by the ushers to the bride if not known to her.
The bride should not leave her place to mingle with the guests until all have been introduced to her.