Bride’s Family. See Family of Bride
Bride’s Father. See Father of Bride
Bride’s Mother. See Mother of Bride
Bridegroom. See Groom
BRIDESMAIDS. The bridesmaids are selected by the bride, and number six, eight, or twelve— mostly eight. She usually gives them a dinner a few days before the wedding, at which she shows them the trousseau and discusses the details of the wedding.
The ushers and the groom are invited to come after the dinner, and then the rehearsal takes place. The bridesmaids should be present at this and all other rehearsals, and if unable to be present at the wedding should give the bride ample notice, that a substitute may be secured.
CALLS. They call upon the mother of the bride within a week or ten days after the ceremony, and upon the bride, in her own home, after her return from her wedding trip.
CARRIAGES. A carriage provided by the family
of the bride calls for the bridesmaid on the
wedding-day, and takes her to the bride’s
house. Her carriage follows the bride’s to the
church, and, after the ceremony, takes her to
the wedding breakfast or reception.
CHURCH. They meet at the house of the bride,
and there take their carriages to the church.
While their carriages follow that of the bride,
they alight first and receive her in the vestibule.
They may carry bouquets supplied by
the bride’s family or the groom.
In the procession up the aisle they follow the ushers, walking two by two, and as the ushers approach the altar they divide—one-half to the right and one-half to the left. The bridesmaids do likewise, leaving space for the bridal party to pass.
In the procession down the aisle they follow the best man and maid of honor to the vestibule, where, after giving their best wishes to the bride, and congratulations to the groom, they return to the bride’s home to assist in entertaining the guests at the reception or breakfast.
DANCING. At the wedding breakfast or reception dancing is sometimes indulged in.
DINNER TO MARRIED COUPLE. The bridesmaids usually give a dinner to the married couple on the latter’s return from their wedding trip.
DRESS. They usually follow the wishes of the bride in the matter of dress. Should she desire any particular style of dress, entailing considerable expense, on account of novelty or oddity, she usually presents them the outfit, which it is permissible for them to accept.
If the bride has no particular wish, they decide the matter among themselves, always bearing in mind that their style of dress and material must be subordinated to that of the bride, and that there could be no greater exhibition of lack of refinement and good taste than for any bridesmaid to make herself in any way more attractive than the bride.
GIFTS. It is customary for them to send a wedding gift to the bride.
They usually receive a pretty souvenir from the bride and a bouquet from the groom.
INVITATIONS. At a large church wedding several invitations are usually given to the bridesmaids for their own personal use.
REHEARSALS. They should be present at all rehearsals.
WEDDING BREAKFASTS. They pair off with the
ushers, and are usually seated at a table by
themselves.
WEDDING RECEPTIONS. They stand beside the
married couple, and are introduced to the
guests.
BROTHER AT DEBUT. A brother, when his sister’s debut takes the form of a supper or dinner, should take his sister (the debutante) into dinner or supper.
BUTLER—TIPS. It is customary for a man leaving a house-party where he has been a guest to tip the butler who acted as a valet.
CABINET ( U. S,), MEMBER OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary of State.
CAKE. is broken into pieces, the size of a mouthful,
and then eaten with fingers or fork.
CALLS. Unless close intimacy exists, calls should
only be made on the specified days.
ASKING MEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. A debutante
should leave this matter to her mother
or chaperone.
A young woman, until she has had some experience in society, should be very careful in inviting men to call.
She should not invite a man to call whom she has met for the first time. No man should be invited to call until she is assured of his social standing and character.
In some parts of the country men first ask permission to call, and in other parts women first ask men to call.
ASKING WOMEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. It is generally the custom for the married or elder woman to ask the unmarried or younger woman to call.
BACHELORS’ DINNERS. See BACHELORS’ DINNERS
—CALLS.
BREAKFAST. See BREAKFASTS—CALLS.
BEST MAN. See BEST MAN—CALLS
BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS—CALLS.
CHAPERONES. See CHAPERONES—MEN CALLING.
BUSINESS. A business man may call in street
dress upon a woman before six o’clock.
Social visits may be made in the same
manner.
DAYS AT HOME. Calls should only be made on the regular “At Home” days, and the hostess should always be present on that day. Very intimate friends may set aside this rule.
DEBUTANTE. See DEBUTANTE—CALLS.
DRESS. When making an afternoon call, a man would wear afternoon dress, and evening dress in making an evening call.
HIGH TEA. See HIGH TEA—CALLS.
HOURS. When no special day for receiving is indicated, calls may be made at any proper hour, according to the custom of the locality. Men of leisure may call at the fashionable hours from two till five in the afternoon, while business and professional men may call between eight and nine in the evening, as their obligations prevent them from observing the fashionable hours.
LENGTH. A formal call may last from fifteen to thirty minutes. Old friends may stay longer.
LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEON—CALLS.
MEN. AFTER ENTERTAINMENTS. After an entertainment a man should call in person on host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not. If a card is sent or mailed, it should be accompanied with an apology.
To call on an acquaintance in an opera box does not relieve one of the duty of making a formal call in return for social favors.
When calling on the hostess but not on the host, a man should leave a card for him. If the hostess be out, he should leave two cards.
Married men can return their social obligations
to women by personal calls, or the
women of the family can leave the men’s
cards with their own.
A call should be made the day following a luncheon or a breakfast; the same after a dinner, or at least within a week. A call should be made within a week after a ball.
After a theatre party given by a man, he should call within three days on the woman he escorted, or leave his card, and should call within a week on the remainder of his guests.
MEN CALLING ON MEN. At the beginning of the season it is usual to leave a card for each member of a family called on—one card for husband, wife, “misses,” and guest, or rest of the family. Sometimes two cards answer the purpose.
They may be sent by mail or messenger.
MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. A man should call only on “At Home” days, especially when making the first call, unless specially invited. He should call at the hour appointed.
When no special day for receiving is indicated, calls may be made at any proper hour, according to the custom of the locality. Men of leisure may call at the fashionable hours —from two till five o’clock.
Business and professional men may call between eight and nine o’clock, as their obligations prevent them from observing the fashionable hours.
A business man may call in street dress before six o’clock, and the same dress in the evening, if intimately acquainted.
Informal calls may be made on Sunday after three o’clock by business and professional men, provided there are no religious or other scruples on the part of those receiving the calls.
Evening or other than mere formal calls should not be made, save by special invitation.
The first call should last not longer than ten or fifteen minutes. It is correct to ask for all the women of the family.
At the first call he should give his card at the door. At following calls it is optional whether to give a card or merely the name, asking at the same time for the person one desires to see. When the servant’s intelligence seems doubtful, or the name is an unusual one, it is safer to give a card.
When a woman invites a man to call without specifying when, it is not considered as an invitation at all, but merely as a formal courtesy.
It is bad form to solicit by innuendo or otherwise an invitation to call from a woman. It is her privilege to make the first move in such matters; otherwise she would be placed in an embarrassing position.
When an invitation specifies the hour, every effort should be made to be punctual. It is impolite to be too early or too late.
At a formal call, when others are present, a man should not be seated unless invited to do so. He should leave as others come in, and not remain longer than ten or fifteen minutes.
A man having a card or letter of introduction to a young woman should present it in person to the chaperone. If she is out, he should mail it to her, and she should at once notify him whether he may call.
If a caller is a stranger to the young woman’s hostess, he should send his card to the latter and ask to see her.
The chaperone may, if desirable, give a man permission to call upon the woman under her charge.
A man should not call upon an unmarried woman until invited by her to do so. He may ask a married woman who has a family for permission to call.
GLOVES. Gloves need not be removed at a formal or brief call.
ENTERTAINMENTS. At entertainments a man should give his card to the servant at the door or leave it in the hall.
A few appropriate words of greeting should be addressed to the hostess and host as soon after entering as possible.
Personal introductions are not absolutely required at musicales, teas, “At Homes,” etc. One may converse with those nearest, but this does not warrant future recognition.
When light repasts are served, as teas, ices, etc, a man should put his napkin on his knee and hold the plate in his hand.
He should depart with as little ceremony as possible—a bow and a smile, if host and hostess are engaged, are sufficient. He should not shake hands and try to speak unless it can be done without becoming conspicuous.
MEN CALLING ON WOMEN—HAT. A man making
a formal or brief call should carry his
hat in his hand into the parlor.
SHAKING HANDS. A man should not offer to
shake hands first, as that is the privilege of
the women.
MEN—DRESS. In making ceremonious calls, men
wear afternoon dress, and after six o’clock
evening dress.
See also AFTERNOON DRESS—MEN. EVENING
DRESS—MEN.
PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS—CALLS.
THEATRE. See THEATRE—CALLS.
USHERS. See USHERS—CALLS.
WEDDING INVITATIONS. Very intimate friends can call personally. Friends of the groom who have no acquaintance with the bride’s family should send their cards to those inviting them.
Those who do not receive wedding invitations, announcement, or “At Home” cards should not call on the married couple, but consider themselves as dropped from their circle of acquaintance.
WOMEN RECEIVING AND INVITING MEN. The invitation to call should be extended by the woman, and if she does not specify the time, will naturally be considered as an act of courtesy, but not as an invitation.
These invitations should be given with great care by young women. It is better to have the invitation extended by her mother or chaperone.
A married woman may ask a man to call, especially if she have unmarried daughters. An afternoon tea is an appropriate time to specify. A man may ask a married woman who has a family for permission to call.
At the beginning of a season, a man who desires the further acquaintance of a woman should leave his card in person for all the members of the family.
A formal call, or the first call of the season, should, mot last longer than ten or fifteen minutes. It is proper for the man to inquire for all the women of the family.
A man should call only on “At Home” days, unless especially invited to come at other times. The hostess should be home on all “At Home” days, unless sickness or other good cause prevents.
In the absence of “At Home” days, or specified time, calls may be received at any proper hour, according to the locality of the place.
When men make a formal call at other than specified time, the hostess may justly excuse herself. The caller would have no ground for offense.
Intimate friends need not hold to formal
hours for paying calls.
Men of leisure should call only at fashionable
hours—from two to five in the afternoon.
Evening calls should not be made by other
than business or professional men, unless the
acquaintance be an intimate one, or unless
they are specially invited.
Business and professional men may call between eight and nine o’clock, as their obligations prevent them from observing the fashionable hours.
Informal calls may be made on Sunday after three o’clock by business and professional men, provided there are no religious or other scruples on the part of those receiving the calls.
A business man may call in street dress before six o’clock in the evening, or thereafter if intimacy warrants.
Evening, or other than mere formal calls, should not be made, save by special invitation.
A man should leave his card when calling. If his hostess is married, he should leave one also for the host. If she is out, he should leave two.
When calling upon a young woman whose hostess is not known to the man, he should send his card to her.
If the woman is seated when a man enters the room, she rises to greet him, and, if she wishes, shakes hands. It is her option to shake hands or not, and she should make the first advances. It is bad form for him to do so.
During a formal call, when other guests are present, a man should remain standing and depart upon the entrance of others. If the hostess is seated at the time, she need not rise or shake hands, but merely bow.
The hostess should not accompany a caller to the door of the parlor, but bow from her chair.
Dropping in at a theatre or opera party does not relieve a man from making formal calls that may be due.
A woman’s escort to a theatre party should call upon her within a week. If she were his guest, he should do so within three days, or send his card, with an apology.
Business calls are privileged, and can be made when convenient, although preferably by appointment.
WOMEN RECEIVING—INTRODUCTIONS. At formal calls conversation should be general among the guests. Introductions are unnecessary.
AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON CALLS.
COUNTRY. See COUNTRY CALLS.
EVENING. See EVENING CALLS.
FIRST. See FIRST CALLS.
INVALID’S. See INVALID’S CALLS.
SUNDAY. See SUNDAY CALLS.
CANCELING DINNERS. When it becomes necessary for a hostess to cancel or postpone a dinner, she should send as soon as possible, either by special delivery or messenger, a letter to each guest who has accepted the invitation. The letter, written either in the first or third person, should state the reason and express regrets.
CANCELING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS-INVITATIONS
RECALLED.
CANES. A cane is the correct thing for a man when walking, except when engaged in business. It should be held a few inches below the knob, ferrule down, and should, like umbrellas, be carried vertically.
CALLING. When making a formal or brief call the cane should be left in the hall.
CARDINAL-HOW ADDRESSED. A letter, official or social, begins: Your Eminence, and ends: I have the honor to remain your humble servant. The address on the envelope is: His Eminence Cardinal Wilson.