A Plank Bed Ballad
[By “DAGONET” (G. R. SIMS) in Referee, 12 Feb.].
I
Understand, if you please, I’m a travelling thief,
The gonophs all call me the gypsy; [1]
By the rattler I ride when I’ve taken my brief, [2]
And I sling on my back an old kipsey. [3]
II
If I pipe a good chat, why, I touch for the wedge, [4]
But I’m not a “particular” robber;
I smug any snowy I see on the hedge, [5]
And I ain’t above daisies and clobber. [6]
III
One day I’d a spree with two firms in my brigh, [7]
And a toy and a tackle—both red ‘uns; [8]
And a spark prop a pal (a good screwsman) and I [9]
Had touched for in working two dead ‘uns.
IV
I was taking a ducat to get back to town [10]
(I had come by the rattler to Dover),
When I saw as a reeler was roasting me brown, [11]
And he rapped, “I shall just turn you over.” [12]
V
I guyed, but the reeler he gave me hot beef, [13]
And a scuff came about me and hollered;
I pulled out a chive, but I soon came to grief, [14]
And with screws and a james I was collared. [15]
VI
I was fullied, and then got three stretch for the job,[16]
And my trip—cuss the day as I seen her— [17]
She sold off my home to some pals in her mob, [18]
For a couple of foont and ten deener. [19]
VII
Oh, donnys and omees, what gives me the spur, [20]
Is, I’m told by a mug (he tells whoppers), [21]
That I ought to have greased to have kept out of stir [22]
The dukes of the narks and the coppers. [23]
[1: boys] [2: rail; ticket] [3: basket] [4: see; horse; go for; silver plate] [5: steal; linen] [6: boots; clothes] [7: £5 notes; pocket] [8: watch; chain; gold] [9: diamond pin] [10: ticket] [11: detective; closely scanning me] [12: said; search you] [13: ran; tea; chased me] [14: knife] [15: burglars tools; caught] [16: remanded; years] [17: mistress] [18: friends; set] [19: £5 notes; shillings] [20: girl; fellows] [21: man] [22: bribed] [23: hands; detectives; police]