§ 2 Wii Kummt ǝs?
¶ 1. Ich lees eiǝr tseitung ‘reglǝr’ alli woch, un weil ich alsfart so fiil nei-ichkeit’n drin lees, do bin ich schun oft (ǝft) uf dii ‘nosch’n’ [gekommen] kummǝ iir [müsset] misst allǝs wissǝ.
How comes it? I read (euer) your journal ‘regular’ every week, and as I constantly read so many novelties in it, (da then) have I indeed often come to the ‘notion’ you must know everything.
¶ 2. Wann epper sich ufhengt, ǝdǝr heiǝrt, ǝdǝr eppǝs schteelt, ǝdǝr gærn ǝn guuti ‘affis’ hätt, ǝdǝr in dii ‘tscheel’ kummt, ǝdǝr sich n fing-er apschneidt, ǝdǝr sei˛ ‘plats’ f’rkaaft, ǝdǝr n hinkl schteelt, ǝdǝr ‘guuf’rniir´’ wærrǝ will, ǝdǝr im ‘gǝttǝr’ kfunnǝ wært, ǝdǝr seini tseitung net betsaalt, dann kann m’r sich druf f’rlassǝn, dass ǝs in dii tseitung kummt.
If (Swiss epper, masc. of G. etwas,) anyone hangs himself, or marries, or steals (G. etwas) anything, or would like to have a good ‘office,’ or gets into ‘jail,’ or cuts himself a finger off, or sells his ‘place’ (or farm), or steals a chicken, or wishes to become ‘governor,’ or is [gefunden] found in the ‘gutter,’ or does not pay for his journal, then one can depend upon it that it gets into the newspaper.
¶ 3. Ich bin ǝn altǝr bauǝr un f’rschtee net fiil, un weil iir alles tsu wissǝ scheint, doo will ich eich ǝmoól ǝn paar sachǝ frooghǝ, dii ich gærn wissǝ deet.
I am an old farmer and do not understand much, and as you seem to understand everything, I will here ask you once several things, which I would like to know.
¶ 4. Wii kummt ǝs, dass dii jung-i bauǝrǝbuuwǝ graad brillǝn un schtǝk traaghǝ missǝ, wann sii in dii ‘kallitsch’ [geschickt werden] kschikt wærrǝ? Ich hab als gemeent ich wollt mei˛ ‘Sæm’ aa in dii ‘kallitsch’ schikǝ, aawǝr wann dii leit graad schlechti aaghǝ kriighǝ un laam wærrǝ, dann behalt ich mei˛ ‘Sæm’ liiwǝr dǝheem un lærn iin selwǝr als oowǝts.
How comes it, that the young farmer-boys must immediately carry spectacles and (stöcke) sticks when they are sent to ‘college’? I have hitherto thought I would send my ‘Sam’ to ‘college,’ but if people immediately get bad eyes and become lame, I will rather keep him at home and teach him myself of evenings.
¶ 5. Wii kummt ǝs, dass deel weipsleit in eirǝm iistan (Easton) soo aarm [sein wollen] sei˛ wellǝ un doch soo lang-i frackschwents uf ‘m ‘peefmǝnt’ noochschleefǝ? [Werden] wærre64 selli weipsleit betsaalt f’r s ‘peefmǝnt’ [sauber] sauwǝr tsu haltǝ, ǝdǝr wii [können] kennǝ sii ‘affoordǝ’ soo aa˛tsugeeǝ?
How comes it, that (theil) part (of the) women in your Easton (sein wollen) pretend to be so poor, and yet (nach-schleifen) drag along such long frock (schwänze) tails on the ‘pavement’? Will those women be paid for keeping the ‘pavement’ clean, else how can they ‘afford’ to proceed thus?
¶ 6. Wii kummt ǝs, dass dii jung-i buuwǝ selli meed, woo reichi daadis [Swiss dädi] hen, liiwǝr noochschpringǝ als dii aarmi? Gukt sel net als wii wann sii meer uum s geld gewwǝ [thäten] deetǝ als wii uum dii meed? Wann ich ǝn meedl wær un hätt so ǝn ‘boo,’ dann deet ich iin mit d’r feiǝrtsang fartschtéwǝrǝ.
How comes it, that the young men (lieber nachspringen) sooner run after those girls who have rich [the plural -s is English] fathers, than the poor ones? Looks it not just as if they would give more for the money than for the maid? If I were a girl and had such a ‘beau,’ (then) I would [stöbern, ö long] drive him forth with the fire-tongs.
¶ 7. Wii kummt ǝs, dass n deel jung-i leit nimmi deitsch leesǝ un schwetsǝ kennǝ, wann sii mool ‘jes’ un ‘noo’ saaghǝ kennǝ? Meim [dative for genitive] nochbǝr, dem Maardi Halsbendl sei˛ eltǝst’r [sohn] suu˛, dær so deitsch waar wii saurkraut des schun siwwǝ mool ufgwærmt iss, waar kærtslich ǝmool in d’r schtatt, un wii ær wiid’r heem kummǝ iss, do waar ær so eng-lisch, dass ær schiir gaar nimmi mit seim daadi un mammi schwetsǝ kann. Sii sin ‘nau’ arik im ‘truwl’ un sei˛ daadi meent, sii misst’n iin naus nooch Kniphaus’n schikkǝ, f’r iin wiid’r (widr) deitsch tsu machǝ.
How comes it that some young people are no longer able to read and speak German if they only know how to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’? The eldest son of my neighbor Martin Neckband, who was as Dutch as sourcrout which has been warmed up seven times, was once recently a week in town, and when he had returned home again, there was he so English that he could scarcely speak anymore with his father and mother. They are ‘now’ greatly in ‘trouble,’ and his father thinks they must send him out to Kniphausen to make him German again.
¶ 8. Wie kummt ǝs, dass dii aarmi leit geweenlich dii meerschtǝn hund un katsǝ hen? Do bei uns wuunt n famíljǝ, dii als bettǝlǝ muss, un dii fiir groosǝ hund un siwwǝ katsǝ hǝt. Sii selwǝr saaghǝ, sii misst’n so fiil hund hawǝ f’r dii diib aptsuhaltǝ.65
How comes it, that poor people (gewöhnlich haben) commonly have the most dogs and cats? Here near us lives a family which must always beg, and which has four large dogs and seven cats. They themselves say, they (müszten haben) were obliged to have so many dogs to keep away the thieves.