Chap. IV Of Their Marriages
In this Chapter of their Marriages, we are to consider: First, the distinction of their wives. Secondly, the manner of their betrothings. Thirdly, the rites and ceremonies of their marriage. Lastly, the forme of their divorce. The Patriarchs in the Old Testament had many of them, two sorts of wives: both of them were reputed lawful, and true wives, and therefore the children of both were accounted legitimate. The Hebrews commonly call the one נשים Naschim; Primary-wives, married with nuptial ceremonies and rites requisite. Some derive the word from נשה Nischa, Oblitus fuit, quasi Obliviosæ dictæ, because for the most part, womens memory is not so strong as mens: but they think not amiss, who say that women are so called from oblivion, or forgetfulness, because the Fathers family is forgotten, and in a manner extinct in their daughters when they are married. Hence proceeds that common saying of the Hebrews,661 Familia matris non vocatur familia: and for the contrary reason, a male child is called זכר Zacar, from his memory, because the memory of the Father is preserved in the Son,662 according to that speech of Absolom, I have no Son to keep my name in remembrance, 2 Sam. 18. 18.
The other sort of wives they call663 Pillagshin, secondary wives, or half wives; the English translates them Concubines, and that not unfitly, for sometimes the Hebrew word it self denoteth an infamous Strumpet, or common Harlot.
The differences between these Concubines, and the chief or primary wives, are many. 1. A disparity in their authority, or houshold government: the Wife was a Mistress, the Concubine as an hand-maid or servant. She had only Jus thori, a true and lawful right unto the marriage bed as the chief wife had; otherwise she was in all respects inferiour. And this appeareth in the history of Sarah and Hagar. Secondly, the betrothing was different: the chief wife at her espousals received from her Husband certain Gifts and Tokens, as pledges and ceremonies of the contract. Thus Abrahams steward (who is probably thought to be Eliezer, of whom we read, Gen. 15. 2.) gave in Isaacs name unto Rebecca, jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, Gen. 24. 53. This custome was in use also among the Grecians, who calleth these gifts Ἕδνα.664 Moreover665 the chief wife likewise received from her husband a bill of writing, or matrimonial letters, whereas the Concubine received neither such gifts, nor such letters. Thirdly, only the children of the chief wife succeeded the father in his inheritance; the children of the Concubine received gifts or legacies: Abraham gave all his goods to Isaac, but unto the sons of the Concubines which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, Gen. 25. 5, 6. And here, by the way we may take notice, that the first-born by right of primogeniture, received a double portion of his fathers goods, the father shall give him a double portion of all that he hath for he is the first of his strength, Deut. 21. 17. Unto this custome the Prophet Elisha’s speech alludeth, when he prayeth Elijah, that his spirit might be double upon him, 2 King. 2. 9. that is that he might have a double portion of his spirit, in comparison of the other Prophets, or rather the sons of the Prophets, amongst whom he obtained the place of an elder brother, and therefore prayeth for the right of primogeniture: so that we are not to understand him, as if he did ambitiously desire a greater measure of the spirit than rested upon his Master, but that he desired to excel the other remaining Prophets, unto whom afterward he became a father. The Hebr. phrase666 is in both places the same. Secondly, in their betrothing we are to consider, 1. The distance of time between the espousals, and the confirmation of their marriage, which some have conceited to have been a full year, at least ten months; and this they observe from Rebecca, her brother and mothers answer unto Abrahams servant, desiring that the Maid might not depart presently, but remain after the Espousals at least ten dayes, Gen. 24. 55. Which Text they interpret667 ten months, understanding thereby that which elsewhere is phrased668 an year of dayes, Gen. 41. 1. But if we should yield this interpretation (although our English at least ten dayes is more agreeable unto the Septuagint and the Original) yet it followeth not, that this time was craved for the fulfilling of any prescribed distance between the Espousals and the marriage, but rather it implieth the tender affection of the mother towards her daughter, as being loath so suddenly to part with her: Notwithstanding, it is not unlikely that there was a competent distance of time between the first affiancing, and the confirmation of the marriage, though not prescribed, or limited to any set number of dayes, weeks, or months. The second thing considerable in their betrothings, is to enquire the manner of their contracting, which might be done in Israel three ways.669 First, By a piece of money. Secondly, By writing. Thirdly, By copulation, and all these in the presence of witnesses. By a piece of money, though it were but a farthing, or the worth thereof, at which time the man used this, or the like form of words;670 Lo thou art betrothed unto me: and he gave her the mony before witnesses. By bill, and then he wrote the like form of words; Be thou betrothed unto me, which he gave her before witnesses; and it was written with her name in it, else it was no betrothing. By copulation, and then he said likewise, Lo thou shalt be betrothed unto me by copulation, and so he was united unto her before two witnesses, after which copulation she was his betrothed wife. If he lay with her by way of fornication, and not by the name of betrothing; or if it were by themselves, without the fore-acquainting of Witnesses, it was no betrothing: however he might not lye with her the second time, before the marriage was accomplished. And though the betrothing might be any of these three wayes, yet usually it was by a piece of money; and if they would, they might do it by writing, but betrothing by copulation was forbidden by the wise men of Israel, and who so did it was chastised with rods: howbeit the betrothing stood in force. These solemnities in betrothing were performed by the man and woman under a Tent or Canopy made for the purpose, called in their language Chuppa,671 a Tabernacle or Tent: to this the Psalmist alludeth, Psal. 19. 4, 5. In them hath he set a Tabernacle for the Sun which as a Bridegroom coming out of his Chamber, rejoyceth as a strong man to run a Race.
Thirdly, the rites and ceremonies of their marriage were performed in the assembly of ten men at least, with blessings and thanksgivings unto God, whence the house it self was called Beth hillula,672 the House of praise and their marriage song Hillulim,673 praises. The Bridegrooms intimate friends which accompanied him & sung this Epithalamium or marriage song, were termed υἱοὶ τοῦ νυμφῶνος, children of the Bride-chamber, Mat. 9. 15. Such I conceive those thirty companions to have been which Sampson associated to himself, Judg. 14. 11. The form of this phrase or blessing is at large described by Genebrard, and the sum thereof is this: The chief of these companions taketh a cup, and blesseth it saying Blessed art thou O Lord our God, the King of the world, wch createst the fruit of the vine: afterward then he saith, blessed be the Lord our God the King of the world, who hath created man after his own Image, according to the image of his own likeness, & hath therby prepared unto himself an everlasting building, blessed be thou, O Lord, who hast created him. Then followeth again, Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, who hast created joy and gladness, the Bridegroom and the Bride, charity and brotherly love, rejoycing and pleasure, peace and society: I beseech thee, O Lord, let there suddenly be heard in the Cities of Judah, and the streets of Jerusalem the voice of joy & gladness, the voice of the bridegroom & the Bride: the voice of exultation in the bride-chamber is sweeter than any feast: and children sweeter than the sweetness of a song: and this being ended, he drinketh to the married couple.
This custome of praising God at such times was not needless or superfluous, for the fruit of the womb was expected as a special blessing from God, and so acknowledged by them in that saying, that four keys were in the hand of him who was the Lord of the whole world, which were committed neither to Angel nor Seraphim; namely Clavis pluviæ, clavis cibationis, clavis sepulchrorum, & clavis sterilitatis.674 Concerning the key of Rain, thus speaketh the Scripture, the Lord will open to thee his good treasure, Deut. 28. Concerning the key of food, thou openest thy hands, Psal. 145. Concerning the key of the grave, when I shall open your sepulchres, Ezek. 37. Concerning the key of barrenness, God remembred Rachel and opened her womb, Gen. 30. Whereby it is intimated, that these four things God hath reserved in his own hand and custody: namely, Rain, food, the raising of our bodies and the procreation of children.
The time of their marriage feast appeareth clearly to have been usually seven daies.675 Sampson continued his feast seven daies, Judg. 14. 10, 11. And of this seven daies feast, Divines676 do understand that speech of Labans unto Jacob, concerning Leah, fulfill her weak, and we will also give thee this, Gen. 29. 27. in which speech, it is thought that Laban did desire Jacob, not to reject and turn away Leah, but to confirm the present marriage, by fulfilling the usual days of her marriage feast. From this custom, together with the practise of Joseph, mourning seven dayes for his father, Gen. 50. 10. arose that usual proverb among the Jews, Septem ad convivium, Septem ad luctum. The chief governor of the feast was called Baal mischte;677 which name is fitly expressed by being called the ruler of the feast,678 Joh. 2. 9. The modern Jews in Italy, when they invite any to a marriage feast, use this form of words, Such a one, or such a one entreateth you to credit his daughters marriage with your presence at the feast, &c. Then he which is invited replieth, Mazal tob679 which some interpret to be the wishing of good luck in general, but I rather think, that hereby was wished to the married parties, a special blessing in the procreation of children: whence the wedding ring, given unto the Bride-wife, had this inscription or posie Mazal tob;680 and the Hebrews call the Planet Jupiter, Mazal, whose influence they thought to be of great efficacy and force for generation: but in truth, Mazal, signifieth any other Planet or Star in the Heaven, according to that Hebrew Proverb,681 There is no herb in the earth, that hath not a Mazal or Star in the Firmament answering it, and striking it, saying grow. Now tob signifieth good; so that the phrase soundeth as much as, be it done in a good hour, or under a good Planet.
At the time of the marriage also, the man gave his wife a dowery bill, which the Scrivener wrote, and the Bride-groom paid for, whereby he endowed his spouse, if she were a Virgin, with 300 Deniers, (that is fifty shekels) and if she had been married before with an hundred Deniers, that is twenty five shekels and this was called the root or principal of the dowry: the dowry might not be less, but more, so much as he would, though it were to a talent of gold. There is mention of a contract between Tobias and Sarah, and that was performed, not by a Scrivener, but by Raguel, the womans father; where we may observe, that before the writing of this bill there was a giving of the woman unto her husband. The form of words there used is, Behold, take her after the Law of Moses, Tobit. 7. 14. A copy of this Dowry-bill is taken by Bertram out of the Babylon Talmud. The words thereof are thus:682 Upon the sixth day of the week, the fourth of the month Sivan, in the year five thousand two hundred fifty four of the creation of the world, according to the computation which we use here at Massilia, a City which is scituate near the Seashore, the Bridegroom Rabbi Moses, the son of Rabbi Jehuda, said unto the Bridewife Clarona, the daughter of Rabbi David, the son of Rabbi Moses, a Citizen of Lisbon; Be unto me a wife according to the law of Moses and Israel: and I according to the word of God, will worship, honour, maintain, and govern thee according to the manner of the husbands among the Jews, which do worship, honour, maintain, and govern their wives faithfully, I also do bestow upon thee the dowry of thy Virginity, 200 Deniers in silver, which belong unto thee by the law: and moreover, thy food, thy apparel, and sufficient necessaries; as likewise the knowledge of thee, according to the custom of all the earth. Thus Clarona the Virgin rested and became a wife to Rabbi Moses the son of Jehuda, the Bridegroom.
After the marriage was finished, then the wife might challenge from her Husband three things as debt. 1. Food. 2. Apparel. 3. Cohabitation, or the right of the bed; which they note from Exod. 21. 10. where it is said, If he take him another wife, her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage shall he not diminish. And unto this the Apostle alludeth, calling it Due benevolence, 1 Cor. 7. 3.
The Wife, when she was first presented unto her Husband, covered her Head with a veil, in token of subjection. Rebecca took a veil, and covered her self, (Gen. 24. 65.) and for this cause (namely in sign of subjection) ought the woman to have power on her head, 1 Cor. 11. 10. where by Power the Apostle understandeth a veil. Do any ask the question, why he should denote this veil by the name of power, especially seeing it was in token of subjection? The Apostle being an Hebrew of the Hebrews, might have respect to the Hebrew word Radid,683 signifying a veil, which cometh from the root Radad, to bear rule and authority, and so might use the Greek word,684 signifying power in the same sense as the Hebrews did. And, in truth, what was this subjection to the husband but a kind of power and protection derived unto the Wife, in comparison of her former state, being a Virgin? and therefore in case her husband was jealous of her, among other tokens of sorrow, she was commanded to stand at her tryal with her head uncovered,685 Numb. 5. 18. intimating thereby, that if she could not then clear her self, she was from thenceforward deprived of all power, which heretofore she enjoyed by the means of her Husband.
After the marriage was finished, sometimes there was permitted a Bill of Divorce: this the Hebrews called Sepher Kerithuth,686 a Bill of cutting off, because the woman is by this means cut off from her Husbands family. Ten things were thought687 requisite as the root and foundation of a divorce. 1. That a man put her not away but of his own will. 2. That he put her away by writing, not by any other thing. 3. That the matter of the writing be to divorce her, and put her away, out of her possession. 4. That the matter of that divorcement be between him and her. 5. That it be written by her name. 6. That there be no action wanting, after the writing thereof, save the delivery of it unto her. 7. That he give it unto her. 8. That he give it her before witnesses. 9. That he give it her by the law of divorces. 10. That it be the Husband or his deputy that delivereth it unto her. The form or copy of this bill of divorcement was as followeth,688 Upon such a day of the week, such and such of the month N. such or such an year of the Creation of the world, according to the computation which we use here in this City N. scituate near the River N. that I of the Country N. the son of Rabbi N. of the Country N. But now I dwelling in such or such a place, near such or such a river, have desired of my own free will, without any coaction, and have divorced dismissed and cast out thee, thee I say, thee my wife N. of the country N. the daughter of Rabbi N. dwelling in such or such a country, and dwelling now in such or such a place, scituate near such or such a river, which hast been my wife heretofore, but now I do divorce thee, dismiss thee, and cast thee out, that thou mayst be free, and have the rule of thy self, and to depart, and to marry with any other man whom thou wilt, and let no man be refused by thee for me from this day forward for ever. Thus be thou lawful for any man, and this shall be to thee from me, a bill of separation, a bill of divorce, and a letter of dismission, according to the law of Moses and Israel.
N. the son of N. witness.
N. the son of N. witness.
This bill was written by a Scrivener, or publick Notary.689 And furthermore,690 a woman being divorced, or otherwise a widow, it was not lawful for her to marry again, till she had tarried ninety days, besides the day of her divorce, or of her husbands death, and her last espousals: to the end it might be known, whether she were with child or no, & that there might be proof, whether it were the seed of her first husband, or of her second.
It was a common custome among the Romans, about the time of our Saviours birth, even for the women to divorce their Husbands, and to marry again at their pleasure. Of this, Heathen Authors speak:
——Sic fiunt octo mariti,
Quinque per autumnos.
Juvenal. Satyr 6. verse 230.
Et nubet decimo jam Thelesina viro.
Martial. lib. 8.
Non consulum, sed maritorum numero annos suos computant, &c.691 The bill tendred by the woman, was termed692 Γράμματα ἀπολείψεως, letters of forsaking; not letters of cutting off, or putting away. This same practise was in use also among the Hebrews. Hence is that saying of our Saviour: If a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, &c. Mark 10. 12. Now although, at that time, humane laws forbad not marriages renewed with others upon such divorce, yet Gods law condemned both such divorces, & such marriages, and, before God, persons marrying after such divorcements were reputed digamites, that is, to have two husbands, or two wives. For this reason, a Minister above others is commanded to be μιᾶς γυναικὸς ἀνὴρ; The husband of one wife, 1 Tim. 3. 2. And the woman she is commanded to be ἑνὸς ἀνδρὸς γυνὴ, The wife of one husband, 1 Tim. 5. 9. In which text, second marriages (in case of the Husbands or Wives death) are no more forbidden, than the Poet forbade them in the like phrase.
Unico gaudens mulier marito.
Horat. Carmin. 3. 14.
Note in the last place, that among the Jews the Bride-woman also brought a dowry to her husband; it was sometimes more, sometimes less; it was called by the Rabbins693 נדוניא Nedunia: Raguel gave with his daughter Sarah half his goods, servants and cattel, and money, Tob. 10. 10.
Notes
661 משפחת אם אינה קרויה משפחה Aben Ezra. Numb. 1. 2.
662 Eandem prolis masculæ rationem habitam apud Græcos testatur Euripides. Στύλοι γὰρ οἰκῶν παῖδες ἄρσενες.
663 פלגש Vxor secundaria vocem compositam esse aiunt ex פלג Dividere, & אשה uxor, quasi uxor divisa & dimidia.
664 Τάων ἧν κ’ ἐθέλῃσι φίλην ἀνάεδνον ἀγέσθω. Hom. Iliad. 9. vid. etiam Suid. in Ἕδνα.
665 D. Kimchi. 2 Sam. 5. 13.
666 פי שנים partem duorum.
667 Onkelos & R. Solom.
668 שנתים ימים Duorum annorum dierum.
669 בכסף או בשטר או בביאה וכולן בעדים Moses Kotsen. fol. 124.
670 הרי את מקודשת לי Maimon. in Ischoth, c. 3. s. 1.
671 חופה Elias Thisbit.
672 בית הלולא
673 הלולים
674 מפתח מטרא מפתח פרנסה מפתח קבריא מפתת עקרתא Targum Hieros. Gen. 30. 21.
675 Vid. Thisbit. in חתן
676 Augustin. quæst. super Genes. 88.
677 בעל משתה
678 Αρχιτρίκλινος.
679 מזל טוב i. Stukius. de conviv. l. 2. c. 3.
680 Munster. Gen. 30.
681 Non est tibi ulla herba inferius cui non sit Mazal in firmamento, & ferit ipsam τὸ Mazal, & dicit ei, Cresce.
682 Talmud. Bab. vid. Buxtorf. Grammatic. Chald. p. 38. 9.
683 רדיד Velamen mulieris, à verbo רדד Subjecit.
684 Ἐξουσία.
685 בלא רדיד Sine Radid. ἄνευ ἐξουσίας. Sic ego interpretor verba Maimon. in Sota. 12. c. 3. sect. 5.
686 ספר כריתות Græce βιβλίον ἀποστασίου.
687 Maimon. de divort. c. 1. sect. 5.
688 Hæc forma reperitur apud Mosem Kotsensem. fol. 133. Aliud exemplar ibidem habetur. It. in Mose Egyptio. part. 2. fol. 59. unde desumpta est hæc testium subscriptio quam opposuimus.
689 Solomon Jarchi. Hos. c. 1. 10.
690 Maimon. de divort. cap. 11. sect. 18.
691 Senec. 3. de Benef. 16.
692 Plutarch. in Alcibiade.
693 Elias Thisbit. It. Solom. Jarchi. Gen. 31. 15.