A New Interlude of Impatient Poverty Newly Imprinted, 1560
Four men may well and easily play this Interlude
| Peace, and Colhazard, and Conscience | for one man |
| Abundance and Misrule | for another man |
| Impatient Poverty Prosperity, and Poverty | for one man |
| Envy, and the Sumner | for another man |
Imprinted at London, in Paul’s Churchyard at the Sign of the Swan, by John King
[Impatient Poverty.]
Peace beginneth. A2,r.
Peace. The puissant Prince and Innocent most pure,
Which humbly descended from the seat sempiternal,
Illumine his beams of grace to every creature;
To withstand the conflict of our enemies mortal;
The devil, the world, and the flesh, these three in special,
Which setteth division between the soul and the body;
In like wise envy setteth debate between party and party.
I speak for this cause: daily ye may see
How that, by envy and malice, many be destroyed;
Which, if they had lived in peace with patient humility,
Riches and prosperity with them had been employed.
For thereas is peace, no man is annoyed;
For by peace men grow to great richesse;
And by peace men live in great quietness.
I am named Peace, which Envy doth expel.
Envy with me shall never rest;
For Envy is one of the pains of hell.
When that he sojourneth within a man’s breast,
Like the burning Phœnix in her own nest,
Though she can none other hurt, ne grieve,
Yet she doth not cease herself to mischieve
Envy. A, sir! here was a long predication:
Methought ye said, in your communication,
To every man peace was most behoved.
Peace. Forsooth! and so said I.
Envy. That shall be proved contrary, by and by;
For by peace much people are undone.
Peace. What people are tho[se]?
Envy. The armourer, the fletcher, and the bowyer,
Mariners, gunners, and the poor sowdyer;
Yea, and also many another artificer
Which I do not rehearse by name.
Peace. I say the universal people doth best obtain A2,v.
Whereas Peace is ever abiding.
Envy. Thou liest! so God me help and halidom!
For then were surgeons clean undone.
Of them that will fight, and break a pate,
They get good living, both early and late;
And what sayest thou by men of law?
Their living were not worth a straw
And every man should live in peace!
Peace. That is not for the commons increase;
For by peace they profit in many a thing.
Peace setteth amity between king and king;
In time of peace merchants have their course
To pass and repass.
Envy. Thou liest, knave! by the mass!
For under colour of peace much subtlety hath been wrought;
And ships are taken the merchants dear have bought—
Was that for their promotion?
Nay, in time of war,
Such a knave durst not stir.
By the mass! were it not for shame thou shouldst bear me a blow.
Peace. Hold thy hands, thou lewd fellow!
Thou art of evil disposition
Thus against peace to repugne;
The which from heaven descended down
To bring man out of captivity.
Envy. A, whoreson! why dost thou lie?
When were thou in heaven? tell me by and by!
How camest thou down? with a ladder or a rope?
Peace. It were no sin to hang thee by throat;
Thy words be envious, not grounded on charity.
Envy. Sir! one thing, I pray you, tell me.
Peace. What is that?
Envy. Have ye any wife, or no? A3,r.
Peace. Wherefore ask ye so?
Envy. Because ye say peace is most expedient:
If your wife made you cuckold, you being present,
What would ye do?
Peace. Give her such punishment as longeth thereto.
Envy. A false, flattering whoreson, lo!
Now thou sayest against thine own declaration:
If thou fight, where is then peace become?
Peace. I break not peace with doing due correction;
For correction should be done charitably—
Irascemini et nolite peccare.
Envy. I shall meet that at omnium quare:
Peace should forgive, and not be revenged.
Hence, whoreson! by our Lady of Wolpit,
I shall rap thee of the pate!
Peace. Go hence, wretch! thou makebate!
It were alms to set thee in Newgate.
Ho, Master Constable, come near!
Here is a wretch without reason;
Take and put him in prison,
With as many irons as he may bear!
Envy. By our lady! I will come no near.
A constable, quod ha! nay, that will I not abide;
For I am loth to go shorter tide.
Yet long, whoreson! for all thy pride,
I shall meet with thee another day,
When one of us two shall go a knave away.
Peace. O, thou wretch! thou ought to remord
That so far art exiled from charity.
Lo! he thinketh not how meekly his Maker and Lord
Suffered reprefe, and died upon a tree,
Giving us example that with humil[it]y
Every man should follow his trace, A3,v.
That in heaven will claim a place.
[Enter Impatient Poverty.]
Imp. Pov. Keep, keep, for Cock’s face!
Peace. Why art thou so out of patience?
Imp. Pov. A knave would have rested me:
I owe him but forty pence—
He shall abide, by God’s dear blest!
Peace. Take heed, my friend! thus saith the text:
In little meddling standeth great rest.
Therefore, pay thy duty well and honestly,
With few words discreetly;
Another time ye shall be the better trust.
Imp. Pov. That will I never do while I live; let him do his best.
I had liever lay all my good to pledge
To get a writ of privilege;
So may I go by his nose at large,
Spite of his teeth, whosoever say Nay.
Peace. This is but a wilful mind: if thou wilt not pay
Thy very duty, which cannot be denied,
Getting of thy writ and expense in the law
Will cost more than thy duty—this well I knaw.
Thy debt therewith cannot be paid;
It is only a deferring of the payment.
Imp. Pov. Yet the knave shall not have his intent.
Peace. Thou shalt pay by rightful judgment,
For the law is indifferent to every person.
Imp. Pov. I see thou holdest on his opinion.
Yet, I set not by you both a rish:
And I meet the knave I shall hew his flesh;
Help him, thou old churl and thou can!
Peace. I see thou art an evil-disposed man:
I utterly forsake thy condition.
Imp. Pov. Marry! avaunt, long, precious whoreson!
I set not by thee nor him, I make God avow!
I am as good a man as thou, for all thy good: A4,r.
Let it be tryd by manhood, and thereto I give thee my glove.
Peace. All such warriors I do reprove,
For peace loveth not to fight.
Imp. Pov. No, old fool! thou hast lost thy might;
For in age is nought else but cowardise.
Peace. Youth with his courage light,
Nor strength with multitude, I do thee plight
Are not only the cause of victory.
Imp. Pov. No, good sir! what then?
Peace. Grace and good governance of man.
For with good discretion they began
That were the great winners of victory.
Imp. Pov. Then victory is gotten by discretion;
I pray you, sir, show me this lesson:
How to come to richesse, for that is all my care.
For I am ever in great necessity;
Meat and drink with me is scarcity;
No man will trust me of a penny;
And, also, my clothes are but bare.
Good sir! what say you therein?
Peace. I hold it punishment for thy sin:
Show me what is thy name!
Imp. Pov. I am named Impatient Poverty.
Peace. Forsooth! that may full well be:
Thou art so full of wrath and envy
In thee can grow no grace;
But if thou wilt forsake sensuality,
And be governed by reason, as I shall induce thee,
Thou shalt come to richesse within short space.
Imp. Pov. Show me that now, in this place,
And thereto I will agree.
Peace. Thou must love thy neighbour with charity; A4, v.
Do unto him no manner of disease;
Look how thou would he did to thee,
Do to him no worse, in no degree;
And then thou shalt Our Lord please.
Imp. Pov. Shall I love him that loveth not me?
Those that trouble and rebuke me shamefully?
That will I never do, while I live!
Peace. Thou must charitably all faults forgive;
Whatsoever any man to thee say
Let as thou heard it not; turn thine ear away;
Thou shalt please God if thou so do.
Imp. Pov. Nay, by God! there ho!
What is he, in all this place,
That will do as this man said?
Show me or I go!
If a man do you a great offence
Will ye keep your patience?
Nay, by God, not so!
I put case: I break your head—
Will ye suffer that in very deed?
Peace. To suffer, for Christ’s sake, I shall have meed.
Imp. Pov. That shall I know, by God’s bread!
Peace. Hold thy hand, and keep patience;
Think what Christ suffered for our offence!
He was beaten, scourged, and spit on with violence,
And suffered death for our sake.
Yet He took it patiently;
He forgave His death, and prayed for His enemies:
Pater dimitte illis, His saying was; truly
An example for us to take
To be meek in heart: beati pauperes spiritu
Shall Christ say full even;
Et venite benediciti, come my blessed children B1,r.
To the kingdom of heaven!
Imp. Pov. Sir! I thank you for your ghostly instruction;
Unto your saying I can make no delayance;
I put me under your governation,
And, for m’ ill-deeds, I take great repentance.
Peace. Then, to my saying take good remembrance:
Exercise yourself in virtue from this time hence;
And, unto peace, evermore be obedient;
Set before every sharp word a shield of sufferance;
And when time is of your concupiscence,
Then pacify it with benign resistance.
Imp. Pov. Sir, gramercy that ye have brought me to this estate;
By your advertisement I am willing to live in Christ’s law;
Thereas I have offended Him, both early and late;
I served Him not for love, nor for awe;
Therefore, now right well I know
That poverty and misery that I my life inlead
It is but only punishment for my misdeed.
Peace. Now, or we any further proceed,
Hold this vesture, and put it on thee;
From henceforth thou shalt be called Prosperity.
Prosperity. I thank God, and you! I am in felicity.
Peace. Now, unto you I shall here shew
Of such things as ye shall eschew.
First, your soul look that ye keep clean;
Beware of misrule in any wise;
Play not at cailes, cards, nor dice;
Also from miswomen, for by them mischief may rise,
As it doth often; this daily is seen;
Haunt no taverns, nor sit not up late;
Let not hassard nor rioter with you be checkmate;
For then will Envy come, and make debate,
The which shall cause great trouble. B1,v.
Be plentiful of such as God hath sent;
Unto the poor people give with good intent;
For every penny that so is spent
God will send thee double—
Take heed and do as I have said.
Pros. Sir! therewith I hold me well apaid;
As ye have commanded me, it shall be done.
Peace. Then let us depart for a season;
If ye need, I will be your protection.
[Exeunt ambo.
[Enter Abundance and Conscience.]
Abundance. Joy and solace be in this hall!
Is there no man here that knoweth me at all?
I am beloved, both with great and small;
Abundance is my name.
I have all things as me list:
Meat, drink, and cloth of the best;
Gold and silver, full is every chest—
In faith! I will not layne.
I think ye know not my ways,
How I get goods, now-a-days,
By a proper mean.
Think you that I wold
Lend either silver or gold?
That day shall not be seen.
But I will lend them ware,
That shall be both bad and dear,
Not worth the money he shall pay;
And if he can no surety get,
Of my ware he getteth right nought
Without a good pledge he lay.
Then will I, for mine avail,
He shall make a bill of sale;
To me full bought and sold.
If the day be expired and past, B2,r.
Then will I hold it fast;
He shall not have it though he would.
Thus, craft I have long used;
And some men do not yet refuse it:
This is be openly known.
What is he, in all this town,
That will lend without singular commodum?
Should I lend without a profit?
Nay, then I hold nought worth my wit.
Conscience. All this ye say is against Conscience.
Abun. Conscience, quod a? Nay, then shall we never thrive!
For I know him not alive
By conscience that cometh to substance.
I have all manner of marchandy;
I sell for long days to them that are needy,
And for the payment I have good surety,
Bound in statute marchant.
Because I may forbear,
I sell my ware so dear;
I make forty of twenty in half a year:
Other men do so as well as I.
Cons. Evensine very shame! marry, fie!
These goods are gotten untruly;
Many a man is undone thereby,
To take this ware so dear.
Abun. They seek to me both far and near;
Methink it is a good deed
To help a man at his need.
Yet have I other means
Whereby I get great gains:
I think ye know not that.
Cons. I? no, God wot!
Abun. No, ye are but an idiot! B2,v.
I sold a man as much ware as came to forty pound,
And in an obligation I had him bound
To pay me at a certain day;
And when the bargain was made plain,
Mine own servant bought the same ware again
For the third penny it cost—ye wot what I mean!
But was not this a wise way?
Cons. Thou shalt repent it another day;
I charge thee, as far as I may,
Such false ways never begin.
Abun. Wherefore? this is no sin:
It is plain buying and selling;
Lawful it is for a man to win,
Else rich shall he never be.
Cons. Winning, to be had with due sufficiance,
In true buying and selling is not to discommend;
But for thy false usury thou art cursed in the sentence.
I pray God give thee grace for to amend.
Abun. Is every man accursed that doth buy and sell?
Then shall no man with merchandise mell:
How shall the world then be uphold?
Cons. Nay, sir, amiss ye do understand me:
All those that occupy false usury,
And transgresseth the laws of God by iniquity,
All such are accursed I you told;
As for buying and selling needs must be;
And God commandeth to lend to them that are needy,
So it be not to their injury
For lucre to them sold.
Abun. How should I sell? show me your ways!
Cons. Ye may not sell the dearer, for days;
If ye do, it is contrary to God’s laws.
Abun. It is used in our country. B3,r.
Cons. It is the more pity;
One such is able to destroy a city.
And God show not His great mercy,
All such are damned by His equity.
Abun. God forfend that should be!
How shall men do that be of great reputation,
Which kept their goods on this same fashion,
By usury, deceit, and by extortion?
I do so myself: wherefore should I lie?
Cons. Thou mayst be the more sorry.
Abun. It is so now—what remedy?
Cons. To make restitution.
Abun. What call ye restitution?
Cons. Restore such goods as ye have gotten
Wrongfully, by oppression.
Abun. Then shall I have little in my possession:
I will make God amends another way.
I will fast, and I will pray,
And I will give alms every day,
That I have done amiss, I am sorry, therefore.
Cons. This is not sufficient; thou must restore;
Quia non dimittitur peccatum
Nisi restituatur ablatum:
Ye must restore to them ye have offended unto.
Abun. Then I shall show you what I shall do!
I will put it in my testament
That my executors shall pay and content;
For while I live I will not have my good spent,
For if I do, I am but spilt.
Cons. Make amends, man, for thy guilt;
Rather spoil thy body than spoil thy soul.
Abun. Men of substance are ashamed to fall.
Cons. That causeth them to rest in their sin. B3,v.
Abun. Yet ever with thy strongest part renneth the ball.
Cons. Yesterday thou canst not again call.
When thou art dead the gate of mercy is shut; you cannot come in.
Abun. Then let him stand without.
Cons. So of thy soul thou hast no doubt?
Abun. When thou seest my soul torn, set on a clout.
If falsehood, usury, and extortion should not rout,
Thousands in this realm should be put out;
The third part should not bide, by Saint Paul!
Cons. Yet often falsehood hath a great fall:
An example, by King Achab, which is soth,
Desired the vineyard of that poor man Naboth,
By counsel of Jezebel that king’s wife.
Because he would not sell his possession,
Of two false witnesses he was peached of high treason;
And, through the mouth of a false quest, it rave;
Which caused the poor man to lose both land and life.
After that, of God’s own bidding,
Came Helias the prophet to Achab the King;
Saying he should have evil ending.
And so he had; for by the way as he rode,
He fell and brake his neck where dogs lapped his blood.
This example, to all usurers and oppressors, as thinketh me,
Should cause them of God sore adread to be.
Abun. Sir, ye preach very holily, but our deeds be often contrary;
Ye be so acquainted with covetise and simony
That maketh us to take the same way.
Cons. So every evil disposed person doth say.
The frailty of man doth often offend;
Then call for grace, and shortly amend;
Therefore I counsel thee to pretend
To repent, and be sorry for thy misdeed.
Abun. Yet thus I will my life lead; B4,r.
For of your saying I take no heed.
Ye will mucker up both gold and treasure;
Ye have riches without measure;
And of the flesh ye have your pleasure;
Ye can find no ways to amend yourself, I you insure.
Therefore rebuke not me for my sin ne good:
God be with you! ye shall not rule me.
Cons. O dull wit! plunged by ignorance,
Regarding nothing of ghostly instruction,
Setting more his mind on worldly substance
Than on the everlasting life that is to come!
God will strike when He list; ye know not how soon.
Therefore to every man this counsel I give:
To be sorry for your sin and do penance while ye live.
Here cometh Envy running in, laughing, and saith to Conscience.
Envy. Now, in faith! I would ye had be there.
Cons. Where should I have be?
Envy. A better sport ye never see.
Cons. Whereat laugh ye so fast?
Envy. He to go, and she after;
And, within a while, he caught her.
He took of her an incroke,
And chopt her on the heel with his foot;
Anon he whipt her on the back.
A, whoreson! quod she; playest thou me that?
And with her heel she gave him a spat,
That he was fain to go back again.
Cons. Good fellow, thou art to blame
Such words to have: no good thou can.
Envy. I said it to make you sport and game.
I cry you mercy! I was to blame:
I see ye are some virtuous man. B4,v.
Cons. Shortly hence, that way thou came!
For here thou shalt not be.
Envy. Good Lord! some succour Thou send me,
That I be not outcast!
Cons. What is thy name? shortly, show me!
Envy. I dare not, sir, by Christ Jesu,
Except ye keep it privily.
Cons. Fear not; say on, heartily!
Envy. Sir, my right name is Charity.
Sometime beloved I was with the spiritualty;
But now covetise and simony doth them so avance
That good institution is turned to other ordinance;
And bonum exemplum is put to such hindrance
That here I dare not appear.
Cons. Simony is not now in the spiritualty:
Bonus pastor ovium thereto will see;
Therefore methink this is a lie:
In holy church simony cannot abide.
Envy. He goeth in a cloak, he cannot be espied;
And coveteous so craftily doth provide
That bonus pastor ovium is blind, and will not see.
Cons. This that ye speak is upon Envy;
Therefore, I think ye be not Charity,
For Charity alway will say the best.
Envy. Amongst them can I have no rest.
Cons. How do ye with the temporalty?
Envy. There is pride, sloth, and lechery,
Which putteth me from that place.
Cons. Then be ye with the commonalty?
Envy. They despise me utterly.
One of them love not another;
The sister cannot love the brother;
Ne the child the father, ne mother: C1,r.
There I dare not show my face.
Cons. This is to me a strange case:
What hear ye by Conscience?
Envy. Spiritual and temporal set against him, marvellously;
Merchants, men of law, and artificers of every degree;
They will hang him and they him espy.
Such exclamation goeth through this realm, round.
Cons. Why what fault have they found
With him, so to do?
Envy. His wit is nought, they say; also,
Every man putteth his will thereto,
To banish him for ever.
Cons. I know well it is not as ye say;
For I am Conscience, the high judge of the law.
Envy. Be ye Conscience? alas! that ever I this day saw!
If ye be taken, ye shall be hanged and draw;
For they have utterly put you down,
And set Covetise in your room,
Subtilty the scribe, his own cousin,
And Falsehood the Sumner, for the Court’s promotion.
Cons. I marvel wherefore this was done.
Envy. When riches came before you, that much will pay—
There he had lived in sin many a day—
Ye should for money let him go quit away,
And put him to no shame.
Let poverty do penance for a little offence:
He is not able to promote you of twenty pence.
Then should ye have kept your residence,
And gotten yourself a good name.
Cons. Who so doeth they are to blame
In misordering them in such wise.
[Envy.] Y-wys, cousin! I show you as now is the guise;
For by covetise much people doth uprise, C1,v.
Which is against both you and me.
Cons. Charity, I pray you show what remedy
In this matter, for me, may be found.
Envy. Shortly, get you to wilderness, or some other region;
For they will hang you up at the Tyborn
If they find you in this place;
And I must depart also.
Cons. This is to me much sorrow and woe;
I will go into some far country.
Farewell, gentle cousin, Charity!
Envy. I shall pray for you: pray ye for me!
This is an heavy departing, [Et plora.
I can in no wise forbear weeping.
Yet kiss me or ye go;
For sorrow my heart will break in two.
Is he gone? then have at laughing!
A, sir! is not this a jolly game
That Conscience doth not know my name?
Envy, in faith! I am the same:
What needeth me for to lie?
I hate Conscience, Peace, Love and Rest;
Debate and Strife, that love I best,
According to my property.
When a man loveth well his wife,
I bring them at debate and strife—
This is seen daily;
Also, between sister and brother;
There shall no neighbour love another
Where I dwell by.
And now I tell you plain,
Of one man I have disdain;
Prosperity men do him call.
He is nigh of my blood; C2,r.
And he to have so much worldly good,
That grieveth me worst of all.
Pros. Jesus, that is both steadfast and stable,
Ever perseverant, and never mutable—
He save this congregation!
Envy. Welcome, Poverty! by Cock’s passion!
How have ye done this many a day?
Pros. I thank God, as well as any may.
Ye call me wrong: my name is Prosperity.
Envy. Prosperity, with an evil hap!
How the devil fortunest that?
I knew thee Impatient Poverty.
Pros. Whatsoever I was, let that matter pass,
And take me as I am.
Envy. I cry you mercy! I was to blame
To call you by your old name;
Yet all these people think ye are the same
Impatient Poverty, as I said before.
Pros. Avaunt! I tell thee, I am gentleman bore;
If I hear thee report such words any more,
Thou shalt be punished like a knave.
Envy. A knave, quod a? by Cock’s passion!
I am your own cousin,
And nigh of your consanguinity.
Pros. Thou and I are not of one affinity.
Envy. If I were a rich man ye would not say so by me;
Ye would then say, I were your next kinsman on live.
Pros. I say, go hence, and make no more strife;
I set not by such a poor haskard.
Envy. Sir, do not ye know my name?
Pros. I know thee not, by Saint Jame.
Envy. Charity, in faith! I am the same:
What needeth me for to lie? C2,v.
I am your cousin, and so will I die;
Ye may be glad such a kinsman to have.
Pros. Shall we have more ado yet, thou knave?
I charge thee, never know me for your kin!
Envy. I pray you, one word or I go.
Pros. Say on, shortly; then have I do.
Envy. Sir, I have of gold three hundred pound,
In a bag fast i-bound,
At home locked in my chest.
I purpose to go to Jerusalem;
Ye shall keep it till I come again:
I put you best in trust.
Pros. Cousin, I would fain do the best
Because ye are near of my blood.
Envy. What! are ye now in that mood?
Now I am your kinsman, because of my good;
Before of me he had disdain!
Pros. As for that, I was to blame;
I knew you not—be not angry.
Ye are welcome to me, cousin Charity.
Envy. Then all these matters let be!
I come hither with you to dwell;
Ye must have more servants, I do you tell,
Such as were necessary for your person.
Pros. I am content after your provision;
In every thing let it be done
As ye think most expedient.
Envy. Sir, I shall do mine intent
To get you servants mo.
Pros. I pray you heartily it may be so:
A little season I will from you go,
To solace me with some recreation. [Exit.
Envy. He that sitteth above the moon C3,r.
Evermore be in your protection!
Aha! here is sport for a lord,
That Prosperity and I be well at accord!
I shall bring his thrift under the board,
I trust, within short space.
For it grieveth my heart right sore
He hath so much treasure in store,
And I have never the more.
I must find some proper shift
That from his good he may be lift;
To bring him to Misrule I hold it best,
For he can soon bring it to pass.
Here Misrule singeth, without coming in.
How! what rutterkin have we here?
I would he were our subchanter
Because he can so well sing. [Enter Misrule.
Misrule. Venir avecque vous gentyl compaygnon
Faictes bone chere pour lamour de sainct John
Mon coeur iocund is set on a merry pin—
By my troth! I am disposed to revelling.
Envy. So methinketh, by your coming in.
What, Misrule! where hast thou been many years?
Mis. By my troth, even amongst my peers.
I came now straight from the stews,
From little pretty Jone—
Lord! that she is a pretty one!
Envy. Hold thy peace; let that alone.
Hark! a word or twain to thee:
I dwell now with Prosperity,
Which hath much worldly treasure;
If thou can contrive, in thy thought,
How that he may be brought to nought,
In all this world I desire no more.
Mis. Tush! take no thought therefore; C3,v.
I can provide for that in the best wise.
Envy. Then let me hear thy device.
Mis. I will bring him to clash, cards, and dice,
And to proper trulls, that be wanton and nice,
Which will not be kept with a small price.
How thinkest thou? will not this do well?
Envy. Yes; but hearken in counsel;
Thou must change thy name.
Mis. I will say I hight Mirth.
Envy. And I will say the same.
Peace! whist! I see him come. [Enter Prosperity.
Pros. God save all this honourable company.
Envy. Sir, you be welcome, by our blessed lady!
I have thought for you full long.
Here is a gentleman; I pray you, for my sake,
Say he is welcome, and into your service him take,
For great courtesy he can.
Pros. Sir, you be welcome; give me your hand,
And show me what is your name.
Mis. Sir, my name is Mirth;
Beloved with lords and ladies of birth,
At every triumph I am them with:
They can me not once forbear.
Envy. And ye had sought this thousand year
Such another ye shall not find;
Wherefore I counsel you, in my mind,
Let him dwell with you for one year.
Pros. At your request, I am content;
Such a pretty man for me were expedient;
And of his counsel fain would I hear.
Mis. Ye must sing and dance, and make good cheer:
I would ye had some proper wench
That were young and lusty; at a pinch, C4,r.
Her heel were not so broad as an inch,
She would quicken your courage.
Pros. Peace hath forbid all that outrage.
Envy. He would set you at dotage
Because he is old, and nature is past;
He would now every man should fast.
If ye do so ye do but waste,
And unto you no meed.
Mis. A straw for him! ye have no need
Of him to stand in awe or dread;
A merrier life now may ye lead:
Therefore, be at your own liberty.
Pros. By my troth! I may say to thee
Sith I to him did assent
Had I never merry day;
But lived in fear and dread alway,
Nothing to mine intent.
Another while I will me sport,
Sing and dance, to my comfort.
Envy. And among merry company do resort;
For that shall length your life.
Mis. Spare neither maid, ne wife;
Take both and they come in your way.
Envy. Off with this lewd array!
It becometh you nought, by this day!
Pros. By my troth! even as ye say.
Yea, marry! now am I well apaid;
Methinketh I am properly arrayed.
If I had a proper trull, she should be assayed
In the worship of the new year.
Envy. Rush up mutton, for beef is dear!
Have, and revel, and chance!
Mis. Now let us both sing and dance. C4,v.
Will ye have a French round?
Pros. And thou shalt see me bounce above the ground:
Hey, with revel dash!
Peace entereth.
Peace. What, Prosperity! is it come hereto?
Pros. What devil of hell hast thou to do?
Shall I not make merry when me list?
Peace. Yet I say, beware of Had I wist!
Envy. Hence, ye knave! or else thou shalt lick my fist:
I trow thy head would have some knocks.
Pros. Go, set him in a pair of stocks,
That I him no more see.
Peace. Yet, man! I say, remember thee,
And think what I to thee have said:
Eschew evermore these rioters’ company,
And be ruled by reason, as I thee bade.
Put from thee these two persons, by whom thou art lade—
Envy and Misrule, with their sinful and great abusion,
Which, if thou wilt not forsake, will be thy confusion.
Pros. Avaunt, lorel! and take this for a conclusion:
These men from me thou shalt not separate.
Go! out of my sight! or, by Cock’s passion!
I shall lay thee fast in Newgate.
Peace. It is better to forsake them betime than too late.
Mis. This knave would have a broken pate;
Let me alone, by God’s bread!
This same sword shall strike off his head.
Pros. I pray you, hence that he were rid—
Shortly have him out of my sight!
Peace. A little while give me respite,
And take heed what I do say:
Remember in what condition thou was
When I first met thee in this place—
Full simple, in poor array. B1,r.
Now, by the grace of God and counsel of me,
Thou art come to great prosperity;
And so mayst continue, until thou die,
If thou wisely take heed.
Let not sensuality lead the bridle;
Be occupied in virtue, and be not idle;
The better shalt thou proceed.
These wretches will thy goods spend and waste;
Then shalt thou be taken for an outcast,
And mocked and scorned with most and least;
Then will no man thee help at need.
Envy. A, sir, evil mote thou speed,
That so can read his destiny!
Mis. Will ye suffer this knave in your company?
Then God be with you! I will forsake you.
Pros. Go hence! or in faith I shall make you!
Peace. Then to almighty God I betake you.
Envy. Let me come to that bragger!
I shall thrust him through the arse with my dagger.
[And here they face Peace out of the place.
How say ye? was not this a good face,
To drive a knave out of the place?
Mis. In faith, thou made him run apace!
Thou looked as thou had been mad.
Pros. Now, by my troth! my heart is glad;
Some minstrel now I would we had,
To revel and dance; for, by saint Chad!
I am so light methink I flee!
Envy. Yea, marry! so should it be;
For now I hold you wise.
Mis. Sir, and ye will do mine advice,
Let us go straight to the Fleur de Lys;
There shall ye find a man will play at dice D1,v.
With you for an hundred pound.
Pros. What man is he?
Mis. Colhazard; came late from beyond the sea,
Ragged and torn, in a garded coat;
And, in his purse, never a groat;
And now he goeth like a lord!
Pros. I pray thee tell me at one word—
Is he a gentleman bore?
Envy. Tush! take no thought therefore!
For be he gentleman, knave, or boy,
If he come hither with trifle or a toy,
He can no money lack.
Pros. Now by the bread that God brake!
I think long till I him see!
Mirth! go before and ordain a good dish;
One of flesh and another of fish.
Envy. Nay, let all be flesh!
A young pullet, tender and nesh,
That never came on broach—have with thee or thou go!
Mis. What shall I have?
Envy. Four quarters of a knave,
Roasted upon a spit! [Exit Misrule.
Pros. Now, by my troth! and Colhazard will sit,
I will play as long as an hundred pound will last.
Envy. And ye will play an hundred pound at a cast,
He will keep you play.
Pros. Then let us go our way;
I sit on thorns till I come there.
Envy. That shall make your thrift full bare.
Pros. What will it do?
Envy. I say, we shall have good cheer
When we come there. [Exeunt ambo.
[Peace entereth.
Peace. When Phebus draweth into the occidental, D2,r.
And obscured with clouds misty and dark,
Then trees, herbs, and grass, by course natural,
Want their chief comfort: thus saith many a clerk.
And, likewise, that a man in his wark
Is destitute of reason following sensual operation.
The last time I was in this place
Prosperity unto Misrule put his whole confidence.
He regarded not my counsel; he lacked grace;
Which, in time coming, shall turn him to inconvenience.
With hazarders and rioters he keepeth residence
At clash and cards, with all unthrifty game;
Which, in continuance, shall bring him shame.
To him yet I will resort:
If he be brought in poverty
I shall do him all the comfort
And all the help that lieth in me;
I will never rest till I him see.
But seek about, from place to place,
And bring him to some better grace. [Exit.
[Enter Misrule.]
Mis. Colhazard! art thou there?
Whoreson knave! wilt thou no appear?
By my troth! I had went to have found him here;
I hold him gone some other way.
And where is Envy? I cannot him espy:
I trow he is with Prosperity. [Enter Envy.
Prosperity? Nay! I may call him Foolish Poverty,
As wise as a drake.
I have brought him to dice, cards, and clash;
And ever on his side ran the loss,
That he is not worth a handful of moss,
Neither hath not a whole brat to his back!
Envy. Passion of God! is it come to that? D2,v.
These tidings maketh my heart glad.
Mis. In faith! he has neither gold, silver, ne plate:
Colhazard and I be both at one.
He promised me to have half the game;
That everything shall be divided in twain—
He to have the one half, and I the other.
Envy. Then let us be partners, as brother and brother.
Mis. I cannot say till Colhazard come;
Then shall we know, both all and some.
[Enter Colhazard.
Col. Here is a bag of gold so round,
Herein is two thousand pound;
Of Prosperity me it won.
What man is able with me to make comparison?
Now shall I take a merchant’s place
To occupy; I trust, within short space,
To be in credence with English men;
And when I am so well betrust,
I may borrow so much as me lust.
A subtle craft then find I must
To convey under colour, like free men.
Envy. Hark, this knave! so proud and stout,
That had not to his arse a whole clout
When he came to this land; and now hath brought about
To compare with a state.
Mis. Now must I have half money, and half plate.
Col. Nay, by God! there thou spake too late;
None thereof from me shall scape:
Then had I lived too long.
Mis. Thou promised me, when thou began,
Half thy winning I should have.
Col. Hold thy peace, lewd knave!
Knowest thou to whom thou dost speak?
Mis. A, whoreson, thy head shall I break! D3,r.
Envy. For the passion of God, sober your mood!
I fear shedding of knave’s blood.
Here they fight and run all out of the place, and then entereth Prosperity poorly [clad] and saith.
Pov. O Jesu! what may this mean?
My goods are spent and wasted away!
Also my men are from me clean;
I see them not this seven nights’ day.
As long as I might spend and pay,
They held me up with false dissimulation;
And now they forsake me in my most tribulation.
[Envy returneth followed by Misrule.
Envy. Come! for Cock’s bones! why tarry ye so long?
Mis. In faith! I come as fast as I can;
I am so angry, I wot not what to do,
That yonder knave scaped from me so.
Envy. What knave is this? I hold him some spy.
Pov. I am your master; know ye not me?
Envy. Thou art come alate out of Marshalsea.
Mis. Methink his hair groweth through his hood!
Pov. Alas! Colhazard hath won all my good,
And left me never a groat.
Envy. Marry! so methink; ye have changed your coat;
But now ye have one vantage.
Pov. What is that?
Envy. Your executors shall not strive for your goods another day;
Nor thieves shall not rob you, going by the way:
Thus ye shall stand out of doubt.
Mis. Hence, ragged knave! or thou shall bear me a clout:
His clothes smell all of the smoke.
Envy. Now, by saint Hugh, that holy bishop!
This matter is well brought to pass:
He is now a knave as he was—
First a knave, and then a man; D3,v.
And now he is a knave again.
Pov. Why say ye so? ye be to blame:
I am your master, Prosperity!
Mis. Avaunt, lorel! and evil to thee!
Get thee out of this company!
Beginnest thou now to make comparison?
Envy. Let him be your under page;
Give him meat and drink, but no wage;
Go! brush his gown and make clean his shoon!
Mis. Well, knave! canst thou no courtesy?
Envy. He hath such a disease in his knee
He cannot chance a main groat:
It is not as ye ween.
Mis. Come and see my shoon made clean!
Envy. By my faith! he shall wipe mine.
Mis. This knave is not meet for me;
It grieveth my heart when I him see;
I will go hence, and leave you twain;
For Envy, thou mayest with Poverty reign.
[Exit.
Envy. Nay, I had liever he were slain:
I am gone as soon as ye. [Exit.
Pov. Abide still with me, gentle Charity!
O, to whom should I sue, to whom should I plette?
O mortal worm, wrapped all in woe!
As a man all mortified, and mased in my wit,
I, a captive in captivity, lo, fortune is my foe!
I am in endless sorrow; alas! what shall I do?
These caitiffs, through their counsel and false imagination,
Have brought me to nought that was of great reputation.
Woe worth the time that I them knew!
I may well sigh, and say Alas!
For now I find these words full true
That Peace showed me here in this place. D4,r.
I regarded not his counsel; I lacked grace;
Wherefore needy poverty on me doth blow his horn,
That every man and woman doth laugh me to scorn.
Example to all young men, when they take in hand
To occupy in the world: for your behoof
Look wisely before, and also understand
Evil company destroyeth man—on me ye see the proof.
Make a sure foundation or ye set up the roof.
Of a good and virtuous beginning cometh a good ending;
And evermore beware of unmeasurable spending!
[Here entereth the Sumner.
Sumner. I ascite you in our court to appear!
Pov. I pray you tell me wherefore?
Sum. Ye be great slanderer, and full of envy.
Pov. There will no man say so but ye.
Sum. What wilt thou give me and thou shalt go quit?
Pov. By my troth, I have not one mite!
Sum. Then open penance and thou art like.
Pov. By my troth, I slander no man!
Sum. Then come and secule thyself as well as thou can.
[They go out.
Abundance entereth.
Abun. What man is he that can me dismay?
For I obtain all thing at my will.
Or who dare anything against me say,
Whatsoever I do, be it good or ill?
For if he do, he were better be still;
I shall him punish be it right or wrong,
For with my purse I can both save and hang.
To repugn against me he were better be still.
I have a proper trull for my pastance;
In my chamber I her keep, both night and day;
My neighbours therewith taketh great grievance;
Yet I keep her still, whosoever say nay. D4,v.
Howbeit, there is one, a poor caitiff, I hear say,
Hath me accused in the court spiritual.
And it cost me a hundred pound, punish him I shall.
[The Sumner returneth.
Sum. Open sin must have open penance;
God speed, my master Abundance!
Abun. What knave art thou, with a very mischance,
That cometh in so homely?
Sum. Sir! I pray you be not angry.
I am an officer of the spiritualty.
There is upon you a great slande[r];
Ye keep another man’s wife in your chamber,
And live in great advoutry.
Abun. What wretches doth so say by me?
Sum. It is openly known everywhere.
Before my master I charge you to appear;
Upon a book there shall ye swear
Whether it be so, or no.
Abun. What is the best for me to do?
Rather than I to the court will go
I had liever spend twenty pound.
Sum. Sir! of such a way may be found
To excuse you; what will ye then say?
Abun. Now thereof heartily I thee pray!
Sum. Ye shall come home to my master’s place
And say that ye be put up of malice;
Thrust money in his hand apace;
And so shall ye go quit away.
Abun. For thy counsel, gramercy! Hold! here is forty pence!
Sum. Come on, sir! I will do my diligence.
Exeunt ambo.
Here entereth the Sumner again, and Poverty followeth him with a candle in his hand doing penance about the place. And then sayeth the Sumner:
Sum. Room, sirs! avoidance!
That this man may do his penance. E1,r.
Pov. Now have I my penance done.
Sum. Nay! thou shalt about once again.
Pov. The poverty and trouble that I endure
I cannot to you in few words express.
If it should be unto God no displeasure
I would desire death, my pain to release;
Such is my penury and troublesome heaviness,
That I could, in no wise, suffer it patiently
But that I trust to win heaven thereby.
[Peace entereth.
Peace. What man art thou that maketh such lamentation?
Pov. Master Peace! I desire you of pardon;
I am your servant, sometime called Prosperity.
Peace. How came thou to this perplexity?
Pov. Colhazard, Misrule, and false Envy
Brought me to this distress.
Peace. I showed thee before, plain, express:
Then of my words thou haddest disdain?
Pov. Therefore now it is to me great pain.
Peace. What persons are those that did him accuse?
Sum. Sir! he is put up by suit of office.
Peace. Suit of office? then it is so
There hath been credible persons, three or two,
Such articles to the judge did show.
He ought thereto to have good respect;
And do swear these persons upon a book—
For love, ne dread, they say but true—
For it is not leeful for a callet, a caitiff, or a knave
Against honest persons such matters for to have,
To put a man to open penance, without due proof.
Sum. Sir! when I entered mine office this was my oath:
To hearken about and hear
For backbiters, slanderers, and false jurors,
Schismatics, homicides, and great usurers, E1,v.
Bawds, advouterers, fornicators, and escheaters:
All such must penance do.
Pov. I know one such came never thereto.
Peace. Who is that?
Pov. His name is called Abundance,
Which hath done many a great offence;
For he keepeth another man’s wife.
No manner of penance ye make him do,
But redeemeth with money, and let him go;
So in advoutry still he leadeth his life.
Sum. He made his purgation upon a book,
Or else redeemed with the silver hook.
Peace. Silver hook? that I deny!
For it is a plain decree
That open sin must do open punishment;
There can be no such judgment
That money shall stop the law.
Pov. Nay, there stop, and lay a straw!
Where see ye any man a substance
Put to open penance,
But punished by the purse?
A poor man, that hath nought to pay,
He shall be punished: this ye see every day;
But if he be obstinant, and will not obey,
Anon they will him curse.
Sum. Well, for thy saying another day thou shall fare the worse.
[Exit Sumner.
Pov. Sir, I beseech you comfort me with some solace!
Peace. Thou art well punished for thy trespass.
By thine own sensual and undiscreet operation
Hath brought thee to all this tribulation.
Stand up! with this vesture I shall thee renew.
Pov. Sir! I thank you, and will do at your reformation; E2,r.
And for my time mispent I am sore ashamed.
Peace. If ye do as I you bid, ye shall not be blamed.
Forsake Envy and Misrule with all their old peers;
Be conversant with good men; goodness thereof will grow.
Follow the saying of David: Cum sancto sanctus eris;
For wicked men evermore wicked seed do sow.
What cometh of evil company, now thyself doth know;
Print it well in thy memory, and do it not forget:
Many a man doth decay for lack of good forewit.
Pros. Sir! your sayings is full true; I have perceived it;
And for the virtuous counsel that ye to me have give,
I shall be your orator while I have a day to live.
Peace. Sovereigns! here may ye see proved, before you all,
Of this wanton world the great fragility;
Ever mutable of the turning, as a ball.
Now, flood of riches; now, ebb of poverty:
What should men set by this world’s vanity?
Think on this lesson, and do it not forget:
The gayest of us all is but worms’ meat.
Pros. With the supportation of this noble audience,
We have here showed this simple interlude;
Beseeching you of your benevolence to take patience.
It is but a mirror vice to exclude.
The maker hereof, his intent was good,
No man to displease, old nor young;
If any fault be therein we desire you of pardon.
Peace. Let us pray all to that Lord of great magnificence
To send among us rest, peace, and unity.
And Jesu preserve our sovereign Queen of preclair pre-eminence,
With all her noble consanguinity;
And to send them grace to the issue to obtain,
After them to rule this most Christian realm. E2,v.
O good Lord! as Thou art omnipotent,
Have regard unto my petition!
Conserve this noble realm, and all that are present,
Of thy eternal Deity grant them all thy fruition;
And from our mortal enemies be our protection.
Jesu! as Thou us redeemed, bring us to the bless
Thereas angels sing: Gloria in excelsis.
Amen.
Thus endeth the interlude called Impatient Poverty.
[Here follow two ornaments and between them the colophon as on page 312.]