How Con Cregan’s Father Left Himself a Bit of Land
I was born in a little cabin on the borders of Meath and King’s County; it stood on a small triangular bit of ground, beside a cross-road; and although the place was surveyed every ten years or so, they were never able to say to which county we belonged; there being just the same number of arguments for one side as for the other—a circumstance, many believed, that decided my father in his original choice of the residence; for while, under the “disputed boundary question,” he paid no rates or county cess, he always made a point of voting at both county elections. This may seem to indicate that my parent was of a naturally acute habit; and, indeed, the way he became possessed of the bit of ground will confirm that impression.
There was nobody of the rank of gentry in the parish, not even “squireen”; the richest being a farmer, a snug old fellow, one Harry McCabe, that had two sons, who were always fighting between themselves which was to have the old man’s money. Peter, the elder, doing everything to injure Mat, and Mat never backward in paying off the obligation. At last Mat, tired out in the struggle, resolved he would bear no more. He took leave of his father one night, and next day set off for Dublin, and listed in the “Buffs.” Three weeks after he sailed for India; and the old man, overwhelmed by grief, took to his bed, and never arose from it after. Not that his death was any way sudden, for he lingered on for months long; Peter always teasing him to make his will, and be revenged on “the dirty spalpeen” that disgraced the family, but old Harry as stoutly resisting, and declaring that whatever he owned should be fairly divided between them. These disputes between them were well known in the neighbourhood. Few of the country people passing the house at night but had overheard the old man’s weak, reedy voice, and Peter’s deep hoarse one, in altercation. When, at last—it was on a Sunday night—all was still and quiet in the house; not a word, not a footstep could be heard, no more than if it were uninhabited, the neighbours looked knowingly at each other, and wondered if the old man was worse—if he were dead!
It was a little after midnight that a knock came to the door of our cabin. I heard it first, for I used to sleep in a little snug basket near the fire; but I didn’t speak, for I was frightened. It was repeated still louder, and then came a cry—
“Con Cregan! Con, I say! open the door! I want you.”
I knew the voice well, it was Peter McCabe’s; but I pretended to be fast asleep, and snored loudly. At last my father unbolted the door, and I heard him say—
“Oh, Mr. Peter, what’s the matter? is the ould man worse?”
“Faix! that’s what he is, for he’s dead!”
“Glory be his bed! when did it happen?”
“About an hour ago,” said Peter, in a voice that even I from my corner could perceive was greatly agitated. “He died like an ould haythen, Con, and never made a will!”
“That’s bad,” said my father; for he was always a polite man, and said whatever was pleasing to the company.
“It is bad,” said Peter; “but it would be worse if we couldn’t help it. Listen to me now, Conny, I want ye to help me in this business; and here’s five guineas in goold, if ye do what I bid ye. You know that ye were always reckoned the image of my father, and before he took ill ye were mistaken for each other every day of the week.”
“Anan!” said my father; for he was getting frightened at the notion, without well knowing why.
“Well, what I want is, for ye to come over to the house and get into the bed.”
“Not beside the corpse?” said my father, trembling.
“By no means; but by yourself; and you’re to pretend to be my father, and that ye want to make yer will before ye die; and then I’ll send for the neighbours, and Billy Scanlan the schoolmaster, and ye’ll tell him what to write, laving all the farm and everything to me—ye understand. And as the neighbours will see ye and hear yer voice, it will never be believed but it was himself that did it.”
“The room must be very dark,” says my father.
“To be sure it will, but have no fear! Nobody will dare to come nigh the bed; and ye’ll only have to make a cross with your pen under the name.”
“And the priest?” said my father.
“My father quarrelled with him last week about the Easter dues, and Father Tom said he’d not give him the ‘rites’; and that’s lucky now! Come along now, quick, for we’ve no time to lose; it must be all finished before the day breaks.”
My father did not lose much time at his toilet, for he just wrapped his big coat ’round him, and slipping on his brogues, left the house. I sat up in the basket and listened till they were gone some minutes; and then, in a costume light as my parent’s, set out after them, to watch the course of the adventure. I thought to take a short cut and be before them; but by bad luck I fell into a bog-hole, and only escaped being drowned by a chance. As it was, when I reached the house the performance had already begun. I think I see the whole scene this instant before my eyes, as I sat on a little window with one pane, and that a broken one, and surveyed the proceeding. It was a large room, at one end of which was a bed, and beside it a table, with physic-bottles, and spoons, and tea-cups; a little farther off was another table, at which sat Billy Scanlan, with all manner of writing materials before him. The country people sat two, sometimes three deep round the walls, all intently eager and anxious for the coming event. Peter himself went from place to place, trying to smother his grief, and occasionally helping the company to whisky—which was supplied with more than accustomed liberality. All my consciousness of the deceit and trickery could not deprive the scene of a certain solemnity. The misty distance of the half-lighted room; the highly-wrought expression of the country people’s faces, never more intensely excited than at some moment of this kind; the low, deep-drawn breathings, unbroken save by a sigh or a sob—the tribute of some affectionate sorrow to some lost friend, whose memory was thus forcibly brought back; these, I repeat it, were all so real that, as I looked, a thrilling sense of awe stole over me, and I actually shook with fear.
A low, faint cough, from the dark corner where the bed stood, seemed to cause even a deeper stillness; and then in a silence where the buzzing of a fly would have been heard, my father said—
“Where’s Billy Scanlan? I want to make my will!”
“He’s here, father!” said Peter, taking Billy by the hand and leading him to the bedside.
“Write what I bid ye, Billy, and be quick, for I hav’n’t a long time before me here. I die a good Catholic, though Father O’Rafferty won’t give me the ‘rites’!”
A general chorus of “Oh, musha, musha,” was now heard through the room; but whether in grief over the sad fate of the dying man, or the unflinching severity of the priest, is hard to say.
“I die in peace with all my neighbours and all mankind!”
Another chorus of the company seemed to approve these charitable expressions.
“I bequeath unto my son, Peter—and never was there a better son, or a decenter boy!—have you that down? I bequeath unto my son, Peter, the whole of my two farms of Killimundoonery and Knocksheboorn, with the fallow meadows behind Lynch’s house; the forge, and the right of turf on the Dooran bog. I give him, and much good may it do him, Lanty Cassarn’s acre, and the Luary field, with the limekiln—and that reminds me that my mouth is just as dry; let me taste what ye have in the jug.”
Here the dying man took a very hearty pull, and seemed considerably refreshed by it.
“Where was I, Billy Scanlan?” says he; “oh, I remember, at the limekiln; I leave him—that’s Peter, I mean—the two potato-gardens at Noonan’s Well; and it is the elegant fine crops grows there.”
“An’t you gettin’ wake, father, darlin’?” says Peter, who began to be afraid of my father’s loquaciousness; for, to say the truth, the punch got into his head, and he was greatly disposed to talk.
“I am, Peter, my son,” says he, “I am getting wake; just touch my lips again with the jug. Ah, Peter, Peter, you watered the drink!”
“No, indeed, father, but it’s the taste is leavin’ you,” says Peter; and again a low chorus of compassionate pity murmured through the cabin.
“Well, I’m nearly done now,” says my father; “there’s only one little plot of ground remaining, and I put it on you, Peter—as ye wish to live a good man, and die with the same asy heart I do now—that ye mind my last words to ye here. Are ye listening? Are the neighbours listening? Is Billy Scanlan listening?”
“Yes, sir. Yes, father. We’re all minding,” chorused the audience.
“Well, then, it’s my last will and testament, and may—give me over the jug”—here he took a long drink—“and may that blessed liquor be poison to me if I’m not as eager about this as every other part of my will; I say, then, I bequeath the little plot at the cross-roads to poor Con Cregan; for he has a heavy charge, and is as honest and as hard-working a man as ever I knew. Be a friend to him, Peter dear; never let him want while ye have it yerself; think of me on my death-bed whenever he asks ye for any trifle. Is it down, Billy Scanlan? the two acres at the cross to Con Cregan and his heirs, in secla seclorum. Ah, blessed be the saints! but I feel my heart lighter after that,” says he; “a good work makes an easy conscience; and now I’ll drink all the company’s good health, and many happy returns——”
What he was going to add there’s no saying; but Peter, who was now terribly frightened at the lively tone the sick man was assuming, hurried all the people away into another room, to let his father die in peace. When they were all gone Peter slipped back to my father, who was putting on his brogues in a corner.
“Con,” says he, “ye did it all well; but sure that was a joke about the two acres at the cross.”
“Of course it was,” says he; “sure it was all a joke for the matter of that; won’t I make the neighbours laugh hearty to-morrow when I tell them all about it!”
“You wouldn’t be mean enough to betray me?” says Peter, trembling with fright.
“Sure ye wouldn’t be mean enough to go against yer father’s dying words?” says my father; “the last sentence ever he spoke;” and here he gave a low, wicked laugh that made myself shake with fear.
“Very well, Con!” says Peter, holding out his hand; “a bargain’s a bargain; yer a deep fellow, that’s all!” and so it ended; and my father slipped quietly home over the bog, mighty well satisfied with the legacy he left himself. And thus we became the owners of the little spot known to this day as Con’s Acre.
Charles Lever.
KATEY’S LETTER.
Och, girls dear, did you ever hear I wrote my love a letter?
And although he cannot read, sure, I thought ’twas all the better,
For why should he be puzzled with hard spelling in the matter,
When the maning was so plain that I loved him faithfully?
I love him faithfully—
And he knows it, oh, he knows it, without one word from me.
I wrote it, and I folded it and put a seal upon it;
’Twas a seal almost as big as the crown of my best bonnet—
For I would not have the postmaster make his remarks upon it,
As I said inside the letter that I loved him faithfully.
I love him faithfully—
And he knows it, oh, he knows it, without one word from me.
My heart was full, but when I wrote I dare not put the half in;
The neighbours know I love him, and they’re mighty fond of chaffing,
So I dared not write his name outside for fear they would be laughing,
So I wrote “From Little Kate to one whom she loves faithfully.”
I love him faithfully—
And he knows it, oh, he knows it, without one word from me.
Now, girls, would you believe it, that postman’s so consated,
No answer will he bring me, so long as I have waited—
But maybe there may not be one, for the reason that I stated,
That my love can neither read nor write, but he loves me faithfully,
He loves me faithfully,
And I know where’er my love is that he is true to me.
Lady Dufferin (1807–1867).
DANCE LIGHT, FOR MY HEART IT LIES UNDER YOUR FEET.
“Ah, sweet Kitty Neil, rise up from that wheel—
Your neat little foot will be weary from spinning;
Come trip down with me to the sycamore tree,
Half the parish is there and the dance is beginning.
The sun has gone down, but the full harvest moon
Shines sweetly and cool on the dew-whitened valley;
While all the air rings with the soft loving things
Each little bird sings in the green shaded valley!”
With a blush and a smile, Kitty rose up the while,
Her eyes in the glass, as she bound her hair, glancing;
’Tis hard to refuse when a young lover sues,—
So she couldn’t but choose to go off to the dancing.
And now on the green the glad groups are seen,
Each gay-hearted lad with the lass of his choosing;
And Pat, without fail, leads out sweet Kitty Neil,—
Somehow, when he asked, she ne’er thought of refusing.
Now Felix Magee puts his pipes to his knee,
And with flourish so free sets each couple in motion;
With a cheer and a bound the lads patter the ground,—
The maids move around just like swans on the ocean.
Cheeks bright as the rose, feet light as the doe’s,
Now coyly retiring, now boldly advancing,—
Search the world all around, from the sky to the ground,
No such sight can be found as an Irish lass dancing!
Sweet Kate! who could view your bright eyes of deep blue,
Beaming humidly through their dark lashes so mildly,—
Your fair-turned arm, heaving breast, rounded form,—
Nor feel his heart warm and his pulses throb wildly?
Young Pat feels his heart, as he gazes, depart,
Subdued by the smart of such painful yet sweet love;
The sight leaves his eye, as he cries, with a sigh,
“Dance light, for my heart it lies under your feet, love!”
John Francis Waller, LL.D. (1809–1894).