Epigrams
On a Fat Man.
When Fatty walks the street, the paviors cry,
“God bless you, sir!” and lay their rammers by.
On a Stingy Beau.
Curio’s rich sideboard seldom sees the light;
Clean is his kitchen, his spits are always bright;
His knives and spoons, all ranged in even rows,
No hands molest, or fingers discompose.
A curious jack, hung up to please the eye,
For ever still, whose flyers never fly;
His plates unsullied, shining on the shelf,
For Curio dresses nothing,—but himself.
On Marriage.
Cries Celia to a reverend dean,
“What reason can be given,
Since marriage is a holy thing,
That there are none in heaven?”
“There are no women,” he reply’d;
She quick returns the jest;
“Women there are, but I’m afraid
They cannot find a priest.”
John Winstanley (1678–1750).