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‹Better GutenbergBab Ballads and Savoy SongsThe Magnet and the Churn · 66 of 71Contents›

Bab Ballads and Savoy Songs

by W. S. Gilbert

66 of 71 · Contents · Download EPUB

The Magnet And The Churn

A magnet hung in a hardware shop,
And all around was a loving crop
Of scissors and needles, nails and knives,
Offering love for all their lives;
But for iron the magnet felt no whim,
Though he charmed iron, it charmed not him,
From needles and nails and knives he’d turn,
For he’d set his love on a Silver Churn!
     His most æsthetic,
     Very magnetic
    Fancy took this turn—
     “If I can wheedle
     A knife or needle,
    Why not a Silver Churn?”

And Iron and Steel expressed surprise,
The needles opened their well drilled eyes,
The pen-knives felt “shut up,” no doubt,
The scissors declared themselves “cut out.”
The kettles they boiled with rage, ’tis said,
While every nail went off its head,
And hither and thither began to roam,
Till a hammer came up—and drove it home,
     While this magnetic
     Peripatetic
    Lover he lived to learn,
     By no endeavor,
     Can Magnet ever
    Attract a Silver Churn!

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