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Bab Ballads and Savoy Songs

by W. S. Gilbert

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Girl Graduates

They intend to send a wire
 To the moon;
And they’ll set the Thames on fire
 Very soon;
Then they learn to make silk purses
 With their rigs
From the ears of Lady Circe’s
 Piggy-wigs.
And weazels at their slumbers
 They’ll trepan;
To get sunbeams from cucumbers
 They’ve a plan.
They’ve a firmly rooted notion
They can cross the Polar Ocean,
And they’ll find Perpetual Motion
 If they can!

These are the phenomena
That every pretty domina
 Hopes that we shall see
 At this Universitee!

As for fashion, they forswear it,
 So they say,
And the circle—they will square it
 Some fine day;
Then the little pigs they’re teaching
 For to fly;
And the niggers they’ll be bleaching
 Bye and bye!
Each newly joined aspirant
 To the clan
Must repudiate the tyrant
 Known as Man;
They mock at him and flout him,
For they do not care about him,
And they’re “going to do without him”
 If they can!

These are the phenomena
That every pretty domina
 Hopes that we shall see
 At this Universitee!

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