After W. S. Gilbert
Ode to a London Fog
ROLL on, thick haze, roll on!
Through each familiar way
Roll on!
What though I must go out to-day?
What though my lungs are rather queer?
What though asthmatic ills I fear?
What though my wheeziness is clear?
Never you mind!
Roll on!
Roll on, thick haze, roll on!
Through street and square and lane
Roll on!
It’s true I cough and cough again;
It’s true I gasp and puff and blow;
It’s true my trip may lay me low—
But that’s not your affair, you know.
Never you mind!
Roll on!
Anonymous.
President Garfield
WHEN he was a lad he served a term
On a big canal with a boatman’s firm;
With a heart so free and a will so strong,
On the towpath drove two mules along.
And he drove those mules so carefullee
He’s a candidate now for the Presidencee.
As a driver boy he made such a mark
He came to the deck of the inland barque
And all of the perils to boat and crew.
He stood at the helm and guided thro’.
He stood at the helm so manfullee
He’s a candidate now for the Presidencee.
He did so well with the helm and mules,
They made him a teacher of district schools;
And when from college in a bran new suit,
A Greek Professor at the Institute,
Where Greek and Latin he taught so free
He’s a candidate now for the Presidencee.
Now boys who cherish ambitious schemes,
Though now you may be but drivers of teams,
Look well to the work you may chance to do,
And do it with a hand that is kind and true.
Whatever you do, do it faithfullee,
And you may aspire to the Presidencee.
Anonymous.
Propinquity Needed
CELESTINE Silvousplait Justine de Mouton Rosalie,
A coryphée who lived and danced in naughty, gay Paree,
Was every bit as pretty as a French girl e’er can be
(Which isn’t saying much).
Maurice Boulanger (there’s a name that would adorn a king),
But Morris Baker was the name they called the man I sing.
He lived in New York City in the Street that’s labeled Spring
(Chosen because it rhymed).
Now Baker was a lonesome youth and wanted to be wed,
And for a wife, all over town he hunted, it is said;
And up and down Fifth Avenue he ofttimes wanderéd
(He was a peripatetic Baker, he was).
And had he met Celestine, not a doubt but Cupid’s darts
Would in a trice have wounded both of their fond, loving hearts;
But he has never left New York to stray in foreign parts
(Because he hasn’t the price).
And she has never left Paree and so, of course, you see
There’s not the slightest chance at all she’ll marry Morris B.
For love to get well started, really needs propinquity
(Hence my title).
Charles Battell Loomis.