The Sunny Side of Diplomatic Life

The Alphabet of a Diplomat

Ambassador	A man, just a little below God.
Attaché	The lowest rung of the ladder.
Blunder	How absurd! Why, never!...
Chancellery	The barn-yard where he is plucked.
Chief	The cock of the walk.
Colleagues	A question merely of time and place.
Court	Where one learns to make courtesies.
Decorations	The balm for all woes.
Dinners	The surest road to success.
Disponsibility	The Styx, whence no one returns.
Esprit (de corps)	The corps is there, but where is the esprit?
Etiquette	The Ten Commandments.
Finesse	A narrow lane where two can walk abreast.
Friendships	Ships that pass in the night.
Gotha (almanack)	The Bible of a Diplomat.
Highness	His, Her, make a deep courtesy.
Ignoramus	A person who does not agree with you.
Innuendo	An obscure side-light of truth.
Joke	Something beneath the dignity of a diplomat to notice.
Knowledge (private)	News which every one already knows.
Legation	Apartments to let.
Letters (de créance)	The first impression.
Letters (de rappel)	The last illusion.
Majesté (lèse)	Too awful to think of.
Majesties	Human beings with royal faults.
Nobodies	People to be avoided like poison.
Opulence	When in service.
Pension	Too small to be seen with the naked eye.
Poverty	When out of service.
Quo (status)	Diplomatic expression, meaning in French, Une jambe en l’air.
Ruse	A carefully disguised thought as transparent as a soap-bubble.
Secretary	Furniture easily moved.
Traditions	A door always open for refuge.
Traités (de paix)	A series of dinners paid for by a lavish government.
Uniform	A bestarred and beribboned livery.
Visits	The most important duty of a diplomat.
Wisdom	Good to have, but easily dispensed with.
Xpectations	A tree which seldom bears fruit.
Yawn	What a diplomat does over his rapports.
Zeal	Something a diplomat ought never to have too much of.

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The Sunny Side of Diplomatic Life