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Day after day went by with not a word from Martin. April was slipping off the calendar. A consistent blue sky hung over a teeming city that grew warm and dry beneath a radiant sun. Winter forgotten, spring an overgrown boy, the whole town underwent a subtle change. Its rather sullen winter expression melted into a smile, and all its foreign characteristics and color broke out once more under the influence of sun and blue sky. Alone among the great cities of the world stands New York for contrariety and contrast. Its architecture is as various as its citizenship, its manners are as dissimilar as its accents, its moods as diverse as its climate. Awnings appeared, straw hats peppered the streets like daisies in long fields, shadows moved, days lengthened, and the call of the country fell on city ears like the thin wistful notes of the pipes of Pan.
Brought up against a black wall Joan left the Roundabout, desisted from joy-riding, and, spending most of her time with her mother, tried secretly and without any outward sign, to regain her equilibrium. She saw nothing of Alice and the set, now beginning to scatter, in which Alice had placed her. She was consistently out to Gilbert Palgrave and the other men who had been gathering hotly at her heels. Her policy of “who cares?” had received a shock and left her reluctantly and impatiently serious. She had withdrawn temporarily into a backwater in order to think things over and wait for Martin to reappear. It seemed to her that her future way of life was in his hands. If Martin came back soon and caught her in her present mood she would play the game according to the rules. If he stayed away or, coming back, persisted in considering her as a kid and treating her as such, away would go seriousness, life being short, and youth but a small part of it, and back she would go to the Merry-go-round, and once more, at twice the pace, with twice the carelessness, the joy-ride would continue. It was all up to Martin, little as he knew it.
And where was Martin?
There was no letter, no message, no sign as day followed day. Without allowing herself to send out an S. O. S. to him, which she well knew that she had the power to do, she waited, as one waits at crossroads, to go either one way or the other. Although tempted many times to tap the invisible wire which stretched between them, and to put an end to a state of uncertainty which was indescribably irksome to her impulsive and imperative nature, she held her hand. Pride steeled her, and vanity gave her temporary patience. She even went so far as to think of him under another name so that no influence of hers might bring him back. She wanted him to return naturally, on his own account, because he was unable to keep away. She wanted him, wherever he was and whatever he was doing, to want her, not to come in cold blood from a sense of duty, in the spirit of martyrdom. She wanted him, for her pride’s sake, to be again the old eager Marty, the burning-eyed, inarticulate Marty, who had brought her to his house and laid it at her feet with all that was his. In no other way was she prepared to cross what she thought of as the bridge.
And so, seeing only her mother and George Harley, she waited, saying to herself confidently “If he doesn’t come to-day, he will come to-morrow. I told him that I was a kid, and he understood. I’ve hurt him awfully, but he loves me. He will come to-morrow.”
But to-morrow came and where was Martin?
It was a curious time for this girl-woman to go through alone, hiding her crisis from her mother behind smiling eyes, disguising her anxiety under a cloak of high spirits, herself hurt but realizing that she had committed a hurt. It made her feel like an aeroplane voluntarily landed in perfect condition at the start of a race, waiting for the pilot to get aboard. That he would return at any moment and take her up again she never doubted. Why should she? She knew Martin. His eyes won confidence, and there was a heart of gold behind his smile. She didn’t believe that she could have lost him so soon. He would come back because he loved her. Hadn’t he agreed that she was a kid? And when he did come back she would take her courage in both hands and tell him that she wanted to play the game. And then, having been honest, she would hitch on to life again with a light heart, and neither Alice nor Gilbert could stand up and flick her conscience. Martin would be happy.
To-morrow and to-morrow, and no Martin.
At the end of a week a letter was received by her mother from Grandmother Ludlow, in which, with a tinge of sarcasm, she asked that she might be honored by a visit of a few days, always supposing that trains still ran between New York and Peapack and gasolene could still be procured for privately owned cars. And there was a postscript in these words. “Perhaps you have the necessary eloquence to induce the athletic Mrs. Martin Gray to join you.”
The letter was handed to Joan across the luncheon table at the Plaza. She read the characteristic effusion with keen amusement. She could hear the old lady’s incisive voice in every word and the tap of her stick across the hall as she laid the letter in the box. How good to see the country again and go through the woods to the old high place where she had turned and found Martin. How good to go back to that old prison house as an independent person, with the right to respect and even consideration. It would serve Martin right to find her away when he came back. She would leave a little note on his dressing table.
“No wonder the old lady asks if the trains have broken down,” said Mrs. Harley. “Of course, we ought to have gone out to see her, Geordie.”
“Of course,” said George, “of course”—but he darted a glance at Joan which very plainly conveyed the hope that she would find some reason why the visit should not be made. Would he ever forget standing in that stiff drawing-room before that contemptuous old dame, feeling exactly like a very small worm?
The strain of waiting for Martin day after day had told on Joan. She longed for a change of atmosphere, a change of scene. And what a joke it would be to be able to face her grandfather and grandmother without shaking in her shoes! “Of course,” said Joan. “Let’s drive out to-day in time for dinner, and send a telegram at once. Nothing like striking while the iron’s hot. Papa Geordie, tell the waiter to bring a blank, and we’ll concoct a message between us. Is that all right for you, Mother?”
Mrs. Harley looked rather like a woman being asked to run a quarter of a mile to catch a train, but she gave a little laugh and said, “Yes, dear. I think so, although, perhaps, to-morrow—”
“To-day is a much better word,” said Joan. She was sick of to-morrow and to-morrow. “Packing won’t take any time. I’ll go home directly after lunch and set things moving and be here in the car at three thirty. We can see the trees and smell the ferns and watch the sun set before we have to change for dinner. I’m dying to do that.”
No arguments or objections were put forward.
This impetuous young thing must have her way.
And when the car drove away from the Plaza a few minutes after the appointed time Joan was as excited as a child, Mrs. Harley quite certain that she had forgotten her sponge bag and her bedroom slippers, and George Harley betting on a time that would put more lines on his face.
There was certainly more than a touch of irony in Joan’s gladness to go back so soon to the cage from which she had escaped with such eagerness.
There had been no word and no sign of Martin.
But as Joan had run upstairs Gilbert Palgrave had come out from the drawing-room and put himself deliberately in her way.
“I can’t stay now, Gilbert,” she had said. “I’m going into the country, and I haven’t half a second to spare. I’m so sorry.”
He had held his place. “You’ve got to give me five minutes. You’ve got to,” and something in his eyes had made her take hold of her impatience.
“You don’t know what you’re doing to me,” he had said, with no sign of his usual style and self-consciousness, but simply, like a man who had sat in the dark and suffered. “Or if you do know your cruelty is inhuman. I’ve tried to see you every day—not to talk about myself or bore you with my love, but just to look at you. You’ve had me turned away as if I were a poor relation. You’ve sent your maid to lie to me over the telephone as if I were a West Point cadet in a primitive state of sloppy sentiment. Don’t do it. It isn’t fair. I hauled down my fourth wall to you, and however much you may scorn what you saw there you must respect it. Love must always be respected. It’s the rarest thing on earth. I’m here to tell you that you must let me see you, just see you. I’ve waited for many years for this. I’m all upheaved. You’ve exploded me. I’m different. I’m remade. I’m beginning again. I shall ask for nothing but kindness until I’ve made you love me, and then I shall not have to ask. You will come to me. I can wait. That’s all I want you to know. When you come back ring me up. I’ll be patient.”
With that he had stood aside with a curious humbleness, had gripped the hand that she had given him and had gone downstairs and away.
The country round Peapack was in its first glorious flush of young beauty. The green of everything dazzled under the sun. The woods were full of the echo of fairy laughter. Wild flowers ran riot among the fields. Delicate-footed May was following on the heels of April with its slight fingers full of added glory for the earth.
There was something soft and English in the look of the trees and fields as they came nearer to the old house. They might have been driving through the kind garden of Kent.
Framed in the fine Colonial doorway stood the tall old man with his white head and fireless eyes, the little distinguished woman still charged with electricity and the two veteran dogs with their hollow barks.
“Not one blushing bride, but two,” said Grandmother Ludlow. “How romantic.” She presented her cheek to the nervous Mrs. Harley. “You look years younger, my dear. Quite fluttery and foolish. How do you do, Mr. Harley? You are very welcome, Sir.” She passed them both on to the old man and turned to Joan with the kind of smile that one sees on the faces of Chinese gods. “And here is our little girl in whose marvellous happiness we have all rejoiced.”
Joan stood up bravely to the little old lady whose sarcasm went home like the sharp point of a rapier.
“How do you do, dear Grandmamma,” she said.
“No better than can be expected, my love, but no worse.” The queer smile broadened. “But surely you haven’t torn yourself away from the young husband from whom, I hear, you have never been parted for a moment? That I can’t believe. People tell me that there has never been such a devoted and love-sick couple. Martin Gray is driving another car, of course.”
Joan never flicked an eyelash. She would rather die than let this cunning old lady have the satisfaction of seeing that she had drawn blood. “No, Grandmamma,” she said. “Martin needed exercise and is playing golf at Shinnecock. He rang me up this morning and asked me to say how sorry he was not to have the pleasure of seeing you this time.” She went over to her grandfather and held up a marvellously equable face.
The old dame watched her with reluctant admiration. The child had all the thoroughbred points of a Ludlow. All the same she should be shown that, even in the twentieth century, young girls could not break away from discipline and flout authority without punishment. The smile became almost gleeful at the thought of the little surprise that was in store for her.
The old sportsman took Joan in his arms and held her tight for a moment. “I’ve missed you, my dear,” he said. “The house has been like a mausoleum without you. But I’ve no reproaches. Youth to youth,—it’s right and proper.” And he led her into the lofty hall with his arm round her shoulder.
There was a sinister grin on Gleave’s poacher-like face when Joan gave him a friendly nod. And it was with a momentary spasm of uneasiness that she asked herself what he and her grandmother knew. It was evident that they had something up their sleeves. But when, after a tea during which she continued to fence and play the part of happy bride, she went out into the scented garden that was like an old and loving friend, this premonition of something evil left her. With every step she felt herself greeted and welcomed. Young flowers as guileless as children waved their green hands. Heads nodded as she passed. The old trees that had watched her grow up rustled their leaves in affectionate excitement. She had not understood until that very moment how many true friends she had or how warm a place in her heart that old house had taken. It was with a curious maternal emotion that clouded her eyes with tears that she stood for a moment and kissed her hands to the right and left like a young queen to her subjects. Then she ran along the familiar path through the woods to the spot where she had been found by Martin and stood once more facing the sweep of open country and the distant horizon beyond which lay the Eldorado of her girl’s dreams. She was still a girl, but she had come back hurt and sorry and ashamed. Martin might have lost his faith in her. He had gone away without a word or sign. Gilbert Palgrave held her in such small respect that he waited with patience for her to come, although married, into his arms. And there was not a man or a woman on the Round-about, except Alice, who really cared whether she ever went back again. The greedy squirrel peeked at her from behind a fern, recognized his old playmate, and came forward in a series of runs and leaps. With a little cry Joan bent down and held out her hand. And away in the distance there was the baying of Martin’s hounds. But where was Martin?