The William Henry Letters
The first letter from William Henry which has been preserved seems to have been written a few weeks after entering his school, and when he had begun to get acquainted with the boys. Could the letter itself be made to appear here, with its very peculiar handwriting, and with all the other distinctive marks of a boy’s first exploit on paper, it would be found even more entertaining than when given in the printed form.
My dear Grandmother,—
I think the school that I have come to is a very good school. We have dumplings. I’ve tied up the pills that you gave me in case of feeling bad, in the toe of my cotton stocking that’s lost the mate of it. The mince pies they have here are baked without any plums being put into them. So, please, need I say, No, I thank you, ma’am, to ’em when they come round? If they don’t agree, shall I take the pills or the drops? Or was it the hot flannels,—and how many?
I’ve forgot about being shivery. Was it to eat roast onions? No, I guess not. I guess it was a wet band tied round my head. Please write it down, because you told me so many things I can’t remember. How can anybody tell when anybody is sick enough to take things? You can’t think what a great, tall man the schoolmaster is. He has got something very long to flog us with, that bends easy, and hurts,—Q. S. So Dorry says. Q. S. is in the abbreviations, and stands for a sufficient quantity. Dorry says the master keeps a paint-pot in his room, and has his whiskers painted black every morning, and his hair too, to make himself look scareful. Dorry is one of the great boys. But Tom Cush is bigger. I don’t like Tom Cush.
I have a good many to play with; but I miss you and Towser and all of them very much. How does my sister do? Don’t let the cow eat my peach-tree. Dorry Baker he says that peaches don’t grow here; but he says the cherries have peach-stones in them. In a month my birthday will be here. How funny ’t will seem to be eleven, when I’ve been ten so long! I don’t skip over any button-holes in the morning now; so my jacket comes out even.
Why didn’t you tell me I had a red head? But I can run faster than any of them that are no bigger than I am, and some that are. One of the spokes of my umbrella broke itself in two yesterday, because the wind blew so when it rained.
We learn to sing. He says I’ve a good deal of voice; but I’ve forgot what the matter is with it. We go up and down the scale, and beat time. The last is the best fun. The other is hard to do. But if I could only get up, I guess ’t would be easy to come down. He thinks something ails my ear. I thought he said I hadn’t got any at all. What have a feller’s ears to do with singing, or with scaling up and down?
Your affectionate grandchild,
William Henry.
P.S. Here’s a conundrum Dorry Baker made: In a race, why would the singing-master win? Because “Time flies,” and he beats time.
I want to see Aunt Phebe, and Aunt Phebe’s little Tommy, dreadfully.
W. H.
This second letter must have been pleasing to Aunt Phebe, as it shows that William Henry was beginning to have some faint regard for his personal appearance.
My dear Grandmother,—
I’ve got thirty-two cents left of my spending-money. When shall I begin to wear my new shoes every day? The soap they have here is pink. Has father sold the bossy calf yet? There’s a boy here they call Bossy Calf, because he cried for his mother. He has been here three days. He sleeps with me. And every night, after he has laid his head down on the pillow, and the lights are blown out, I begin to sing, and to scale up and down, so the boys can’t hear him cry. Dorry Baker and three more boys sleep in the same room that we two sleep in. When they begin to throw bootjacks at me, to make me stop my noise, it scares him, and he leaves off crying. I want a pair of new boots dreadfully, with red on the tops of them, that I can tuck my trousers into and keep the mud off.
One thing more the boys plague me for besides my head. Freckles. Dorry held up an orange yesterday. “Can you see it?” says he. “To be sure,” says I. “Didn’t know as you could see through ’em,” says he, meaning freckles. Dear grandmother, I have cried once, but not in bed. For fear of their laughing, and of the bootjacks. But away in a good place under the trees. A shaggy dog came along and licked my face. But oh! he did make me remember Towser, and cry all over again. But don’t tell, for I should be ashamed. I wish the boys would like me. Freckles come thicker in summer than they do in winter.
Your affectionate grandchild,
William Henry.
If William Henry’s recipe for the prevention of spunkiness were generally adopted, I fancy that many a boy would be seen practising the circus performance here mentioned. It must have been “sure cure!” I well remember the “plaguing” of my school days, and know from experience how hard it is for a boy (or a man) always to keep his temper. The fellows used to make fun of my name. In our quarrels, when there was nothing else left to say, they would call out,—leaving off the Silas,—“Y Fry? why not bake?” or “boil,” or “stew.” Of course to such remarks there was no answer.
It is to be regretted that so few of Grandmother’s letters were preserved. As Billy here makes known the state of his pocket-book, we may infer that she had been inquiring into his accounts, and perhaps cautioning him against spending too freely.
My Dear Grandmother,—
I do what you told me. You told me to bite my lips and count ten, before I spoke, when the boys plague me, because I’m a spunky boy. But doing it so much makes my lips sore. So now I go head over heels sometimes, till I’m out of breath. Then I can’t say anything.
This is the account you asked me for, of all I’ve bought this week:—
| Slippery elm | 1 cent. |
| Corn-ball | 1 cent. |
| Gum | 1 cent. |
And I swapped a whip-lash that I found for an orange that only had one suck sucked out of it. The “Two Betseys,” they keep very good things to sell. They are two old women that live in a little hut with two rooms to it, and a ladder to go up stairs by, through a hole in the wall. One Betsey, she is lame and keeps still, and sells the things to us sitting down. The other Betsey, she can run, and keeps a yardstick to drive away boys with. For they have apple-trees in their garden. But she never touches a boy, if she does catch him. They have hens and sell eggs.
The boys that sleep in the same room that we do wanted Benjie and me to join together with them to buy a great confectioner’s frosted cake, and other things. And when the lamps had been blown out, to keep awake and light them up again, and so have a supper late at night, with the curtains all down and the blinds shut up, when people were in bed, and not let anybody know.
But Benjie hadn’t any money. Because his father works hard for his living,—but his uncle pays for his schooling,—and he wouldn’t if he had. And I said I wouldn’t do anything so deceitful. And the more they said you must and you shall, the more I said I wouldn’t and I shouldn’t, and the money should blow up first.
So they called me “Old Stingy” and “Pepper-corn” and “Speckled Potatoes.” Said they’d pull my hair if ’t weren’t for burning their fingers. Dorry was the maddest one. Said he guessed my hair was tired of standing up, and wanted to lie down to rest.
I wish you would please send me a new comb, for the large end of mine has got all but five of the teeth broken out, and the small end can’t get through. I can’t get it cut because the barber has raised his price. Send quite a stout one.
I have lost two of my pocket-handkerchiefs, and another one went up on Dorry’s kite, and blew away.
Your affectionate grandchild,
William Henry.
My dear Grandmother,—
I did what you told me, when I got wet. I hung my clothes round the kitchen stove on three chairs, but the cooking girl she flung them under the table. So now I go wrinkled, and the boys chase me to smooth out the wrinkles. I’ve got a good many hard rubs. But I laugh too. That’s the best way. Some of the boys play with me now, and ask me to go round with them. Dorry hasn’t yet. Tom Cush plagues the most.
Sometimes the schoolmaster comes out to see us when we are playing ball, or jumping. To-day, when we all clapped Dorry, the schoolmaster clapped too. Somebody told me that he likes boys. Do you believe it?
A cat ran up the spout this morning, and jumped in the window. Dorry was going to choke her, or drown her, for the working-girl said she licked out the inside of a custard-pie. I asked Dorry what he would take to let her go, and he said five cents. So I paid. For she was just like my sister’s cat. And just as likely as not somebody’s little sister would have cried about it. For she had a ribbon tied round her neck.
The woman that I go to have my buttons sewed on to, is a very good woman. She gave me a cookie with a hole in the middle, and told me to mind and not eat the hole.
Coming back, I met Benjie, and he looked so sober, I offered it to him as quick as I could. But it almost made him cry; because, he said, his mother made her cookies with a hole in the middle. But when he gets acquainted, he won’t be so bashful, and he’ll feel better then.
We walked away to a good place under the trees, and he talked about his folks, and his grandmother, and his Aunt Polly, and the two little twins. They’ve got two cradles just like each other, and they are just as big as each other, and just as old. They creep round on the floor, and when one picks up anything, the other pulls it away. I wish we had some twins. I told him things too.
Kiss yourself for me.
Your affectionate grandchild,
William Henry.
P. S. If you send a cake, send quite a large one. I like the kind that Uncle Jacob does. Aunt Phebe knows.
My dear Grandmother,—
I was going to tell you about “Gapper Skyblue.” “Gapper” means grandpa. He wears all the time blue overalls, faded out, and a jacket like them. That’s why they call him “Gapper Skyblue.” He’s a very poor old man. He saws wood. We found him leaning up against a tree. Benjie and I were together. His hair is all turned white, and his back is bent. He had great patches on his knees. His hat was an old hat that he had given him, and his shoes let in the mud. I wish you would please to be so good as to send me both your old-fashioned india-rubbers, to make balls of, as quick as holes come. Most all the boys have lost their balls. And please to send some shoe-strings next time, for I have to tie mine up all the time now with some white cord that I found, and it gets into hard knots, and I have to stoop my head way down and untie ’em with my teeth, because I cut my thumb whittling, and jammed my fingers in the gate.
Old Gapper Skyblue’s nose is pretty long, and he looked so funny leaning up against a tree, that I was just going to laugh. But then I remembered what you said a real gentleman would do. That he would be polite to all people, no matter what clothes they had on, or whether they were rich people or poor people. He had a big basket with two covers to it, and we offered to carry it for him.
He said, “Yes, little boys, if you won’t lift up the covers.”
We found ’t was pretty heavy. And I wondered what was in it, and so did Benjie. The basket was going to “The Two Betseys.”
When we had got half-way there, Dorry and Tom Cush came along, and called out: “Hallo! there, you two. What are you lugging off so fast?”
We said we didn’t know. They said, “Let’s see.” We said, “No, you can’t see.” Then they pushed us. Gapper was a good way behind. I sat down on one cover, and Benjie on the other, to keep them shut up.
Then they pulled us. I swung my arms round, and made the sand fly with my feet, for I was just as mad as anything. Then Tom Cush hit me. So I ran to tell Gapper to make haste. But first picked up a stone to send at Tom Cush. But remembered about the boy that threw a stone and hit a boy, and he died. I mean the boy that was hit. And so dropped the stone down again and ran like lightning.
“Go it, you pesky little red-headed firebug!” cried Tom Cush.
“Go it, Spunkum! I’ll hold your breath,” Dorry hollered out.
The dog, the shaggy dog that licked my face when I was lying under the trees, he came along and growled and snapped at them, because they were hurting Benjie. You see Benjie treats him well, and gives him bones. And the master came in sight too. So they were glad to let us alone.
The basket had rabbits in it. Gapper Skyblue wanted to pay us two cents apiece. But we wouldn’t take pay. We wouldn’t be so mean.
When we were going along to school, Bubby Short came and whispered to me that Tom and Dorry were hiding my bird’s eggs in a post-hole. But I got them again. Two broke.
Bubby Short is a nice little fellow. He’s about as old as I am, but over a head shorter and quite fat. His cheeks reach way up into his eyes. He’s got little black eyes, and little cunning teeth, just as white as the meat of a punkin-seed.
I had to pay twenty cents of that quarter you sent, for breaking a square of glass. But didn’t mean to, so please excuse. I haven’t much left.
Your affectionate grandchild,
William Henry.
P. S. When punkins come, save the seeds—to roast. If you please.
My dear Grandmother,—
One of my elbows came through, but the woman sewed it up again. I’ve used up both balls of my twine. And my white-handled knife,—I guess it went through a hole in my pocket, that I didn’t know of till after the knife was lost. My trousers grow pretty short. But she says ’t is partly my legs getting long. I’m glad of that. And partly getting ’em wet.
I stubbed my toe against a stump, and tumbled down and scraped a hole through the knee of my oldest pair. For it was very rotten cloth. I guess the hole is too crooked to have her sew it up again. She thinks a mouse ran up the leg, and gnawed that hole my knife went through, to get the crumbles in the pocket. I don’t mean when they were on me, but hanging up.
My boat is almost rigged. She says she will hem the sails if I won’t leave any more caterpillars in my pockets. I’m getting all kinds of caterpillars to see what kind of butterflies they make.
Yesterday, Dorry and I started from the pond to run and see who would get home first. He went one way, and I went another.
I cut across the Two Betseys’ garden. But I don’t see how I did so much hurt in just once cutting across. I knew something cracked,—that was the sink-spout I jumped down on, off the fence. There was a board I hit, that had huckleberries spread out on it to dry. They went into the rain-water hogshead. I didn’t know any huckleberries were spread out on that board.
I meant to go between the rows, but guess I stepped on a few beans. My wrist got hurt dreadfully by my getting myself tripped up in a squash-vine. And while I was down there, a bumble-bee stung me on my chin. I stepped on a little chicken, for she ran the way I thought she wasn’t going to. I don’t remember whether I shut the gate or not. But guess not, for the pig got in, and went to rooting before Lame Betsey saw him, and the other Betsey had gone somewhere.
I got home first, but my wrist ached, and my sting smarted. You forgot to write down what was good for bumble-bee stings. Benjie said his Aunt Polly put damp sand on to stings. So he put a good deal of it on my chin, and it got better, though my wrist kept aching in the night. And I went to school with it aching. But didn’t tell anybody but Benjie. Just before school was done, the master said we might put away our books. Then he talked about the Two Betseys, and told how Lame Betsey got lame by saving a little boy’s life when the house was on fire. She jumped out of the window with him. And he made us all feel ashamed that we great strong boys should torment two poor women.
Then he told about the damage done the day before by some boy running through their garden, and said five dollars would hardly be enough to pay it. “I don’t know what boy it was, but if he is present,” says he, “I call upon him to rise.”
Then I stood up. I was ashamed, but I stood up. For you told me once this saying: “Even if truth be a loaded cannon walk straight up to it.”
The master ordered me not to go on to the playground for a week, nor be out of the house in play-hours.
From your affectionate grandchild,
William Henry.
I was very sorry that while in the neighborhood of the Crooked Pond school, a short time since, lack of time prevented my finding out the Two Betseys’ shop. These worthy women, as will be seen further on, became William Henry’s firm friends.
My dear Grandmother,—
Lame Betsey gave me something to put on my wrist that cured it. I went there to ask how much money must be paid. I had sold my football, and my brass sword, and my pocket-book. They told me they should not take any money, but if I would saw some wood for them, and do an errand now and then, they should be very glad. When I told Dorry, he threw up his hat, and called out, “Three cheers for the ‘Two Betseys.’” And when his hat came down, he picked it up and passed it round; “for,” says he, “we all owe them something.” One great boy dropped fifty cents in. And it all came to about four dollars. And Bubby Short carried it to them. But I shall saw some wood for them all the same.
Last evening it was rainy. A good many boys came into our room, and we sat in a row, and every one said some verses, or told a riddle. These two verses I send for Aunt Phebe’s little Tommy to learn. I guess he’s done saying “Fishy, fishy in the brook” by this time, Dorry said he got them out of the German.
“When you are rich,
You can ride with a span;
But when you are poor,
You must go as you can.
“Better honest and poor,
And go as you can,
Than rich and a rogue,
And ride with a span.”
This riddle was too hard for me to guess. But Aunt Phebe’s girls like to guess riddles, and I will send it to them. Mr. Augustus says that a soldier made it in a Rebel prison. Mr. Augustus is a tall boy, that knows a good deal, and wears spectacles, and that’s why we call him Mr. Augustus.