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Point Lace and Diamonds

by George A. Baker

33 of 41 · Contents · Download EPUB

Pyrotechnic Polyglot

(Madison Square, July 4.)

“Hey, Johnny McGinnis, where are yez?
  I’ve got a place! Arrah, be quick!”
Whiz! Boom! “Hooray, there goes a rocket;
  Hi, Johnny, look out for the shtick!”
“Confound it, sir! Those are my feet, sir!”
  “Oh, pa, lift me up, I can’t see.”
“Come down out o’ that, yez young blackguards!
  Div yez want to be killin’ the tree?”
“Hooray! look at that?” “Aint it bully!”
  “It’s stuck!” “No, it aint.” “There she goes!”
“I wish that you’d speak to this man, Fred,
  He’s standing all over my toes.”
“Take down that umbrella in front there!”
  “My! aint we afraid of our hat!”
“Me heart’s fairly broke wid yez shovin’—
  Have done now—what would yez be at?”
“Jehiel, neow haint this jest orful!
  I ’most wish I hedn’t a come;
Such actions I never—one would think
  Folks left their perliteness to hum.”
“Look here, now, you schoost stop dose schovin’.”
  “By gar, den, get out from ze vay,
You stupide Dootschmans, vilain cochon”—
  “Kreuz!”—“Peste!”—“Donnerwetter!”—“Sacr-r-re!”
“Oh, isn’t that cross just too lovely!
  So bright, why the light makes me wink!”
“Your eyes, dear, are”—“don’t be a goose, Fred;
  What do you suppose folks will think?”
Crash! Screech! “Och I’m kilt!”—“Fred, what is it?”
  “Branch broken—small boy come to grief.”
“Boo, hoo, hoo, hoo! I wants mine muzzer!”
  “Look out there!” “Police!” “Hi, stop thief!”
“Well, father, I guess it’s all over;
  Just help Nelly down off the stool.”

moral.

Sung:—“Mellican piecee fire bully!”
  Ching:—“Mellican man piecee fool.”

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