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Black Beetles in Amber

by Ambrose Bierce

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For Mayor

O Abner Doble—whose “catarrhal name”
  Budd of that ilk might envy—’tis a rough
  Rude thing to say, but it is plain enough
Your name is to be sneezed at: its acclaim
Will “fill the speaking trump of future fame”
  With an impeded utterance—a puff
  Suggesting that a pinch or two of snuff
Would clear the tube and somewhat disinflame.
Nay, Abner Doble, you’ll not get from me
  My voice and influence: I’ll cheer instead,
    Some other man; for when my voice ascends a
Tall pinnacle of praise, and at high C
  Sustains a chosen name, it shan’t be said
    My influence is naught but influenza.

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