Peter’s Beast Stories
“Now,” said Peter, “I’ll tell you another lot of stories right out of the wood, as fresh as a spruce fir or a juniper. Here they are:—
Pork and Honey
“At dawn the other day, when Bruin came tramping over the bog with a fat pig, Reynard sat up on a stone by the moorside.
“‘Good day, grandsire,’ said the fox, ‘what’s that so nice that you have there?’
“‘Pork,’ said Bruin.
“‘Well! I have got a dainty bit, too,’ said Reynard.
“‘What is that?’ asked the bear.
“‘The biggest wild bees-comb I ever saw in my life,’ said Reynard.
“‘Indeed, you don’t say so,’ said Bruin, who grinned and licked his lips. He thought it would be so nice to taste a little honey. At last he said, ‘Shall we swop our fare?’
“‘Nay, nay!’ said Reynard, ‘I can’t do that.’
“The end was that they made a bet, and agreed to name three trees. If the fox could say them off faster than the bear he was to have leave to take one bite off the bacon; but if the bear could say them faster he was to have leave to take one sup out of the comb. Greedy Bruin thought he was sure to sup out all the honey at one breath.
“‘Well,’ said Reynard, ’it’s all fair and right no doubt, but all I say is, if I win, you shall be bound “to tear” off the bristles where I am to bite.’
“‘Of course,’ said Bruin, ‘I’ll help you as you can’t help yourself.’
“So they were to begin and name the trees.
“‘Fir, Scotch Fir, Spruce,’ growled out Bruin, for he was gruff in his tongue, that he was. But for all that he only named two trees, for Fir and Scotch Fir are both the same.
“‘Ash, Aspen, Oak,’ screamed Reynard, so that the wood rang again!
“So he had won the wager, and down he ran and took the heart out of the pig at one bite, and was just running off with it. But Bruin was angry because he had taken the best bit out of the whole pig, and so he laid hold of his tail and held him fast.
“‘Stop a bit, stop a bit,’ he said, and was wild with rage.
“‘Never mind,’ said the fox, ‘it’s all right; let me go, grandsire, and I’ll give you a taste of my honey.’
“When Bruin heard that, he let go his hold, and away went Reynard after the honey.
“‘Here, on this honeycomb,’ said Reynard, ‘lies a leaf, and under this leaf is a hole, and that hole you are to suck.’
“As he said this he held up the comb under the Bear’s nose, took off the leaf, jumped up on a stone, and began to gibber and laugh, for there was neither honey nor honeycomb, but a wasp’s nest, as big as a man’s head, full of wasps, and out swarmed the wasps and settled on Bruin’s head, and stung him in his eyes and ears, and mouth and snout. And he had such hard work to rid himself of them that he had no time to think of Reynard.
“And that’s why, ever since that day, Bruin is so afraid of wasps.”
The Hare and the Heiress
“Once on a time there was a hare, who was frisking up and down under the greenwood tree.
“‘Oh! hurrah! hip, hip, hurrah!’ he cried, and leapt and sprang, and all at once he threw a somersault, and stood upon his hind legs. Just then a fox came slouching by.
“‘Good-day, good-day,’ said the hare; ‘I’m so merry to-day, for you must know I was married this morning.’
“‘Lucky fellow you,’ said the fox.
“‘Ah, no! not so lucky after all,’ said the hare, ’for she was very heavy handed, and it was an old witch I got to wife.
“‘Then you were an unlucky fellow,’ said the fox.
“‘Oh, not so unlucky either,’ said the hare, ‘for she was an heiress. She had a cottage of her own.’
“‘Then you were lucky after all,’ said the fox.
“‘No, no! not so lucky either,’ said the hare, ‘for the cottage caught fire and was burnt, and all we had with it.’
“‘That I call downright unlucky,’ said the fox.
“‘Oh, no; not so very unlucky after all,’ said the hare, ‘for my witch of a wife was burnt along with her cottage.’”
Slip Root, Catch Reynard’s Foot
“Once on a time there was a bear, who sat on a hillside in the sun and slept. Just then Reynard came slouching by and caught sight of him.
“‘There you sit taking your ease, grandsire,’ said the fox. ‘Now see if I don’t play you a trick.’ So he went and caught three field mice and laid them on a stump close under Bruin’s nose, and then he bawled out, into his ear, ‘Bo! Bruin, here’s Peter the Hunter, just behind this stump;’ and as he bawled this out he ran off through the wood as fast as ever he could.
“Bruin woke up with a start, and when he saw the three little mice, he was as mad as a March hare, and was going to lift up his paw and crush them, for he thought it was they who had bellowed in his ear.
“But just as he lifted it he caught sight of Reynard’s tail among the bushes by the woodside, and away he set after him, so that the underwood crackled as he went, and, to tell the truth, Bruin was so close upon Reynard, that he caught hold of his off-hind foot just as he was crawling into an earth under a pine-root. So there was Reynard in a pinch, but for all that he had his wits about him, for he screeched out, ‘Slip the pine-root and catch Reynard’s foot,’ and so the silly bear let his foot slip and laid hold of the root instead. But by that time Reynard was safe inside the earth, and called out—
“‘I cheated you that time, too, didn’t I, grandsire!’
“‘Out of sight isn’t out of mind,’ growled Bruin down the earth, and was wild with rage.”
Bruin Goodfellow
“Once on a time there was a husbandman who travelled ever so far up to the Fells to fetch a load of leaves for litter for his cattle in winter. So when he got to where the litter lay he backed the sledge close up to the heap, and began to roll down the leaves on to the sledge. But under the heap lay a bear who had made his winter lair there, and when he felt the man trampling about he jumped out right down on to the sledge.
“As soon as the horse got wind of Bruin, he was afraid, and ran off as though he had stolen both bear and sledge, and he went back faster by many times than he had come up.
“Bruin, they say, is a brave fellow, but even he was not quite pleased with his drive this time. So there he sat, holding fast, as well as he could, and he glared and grinned on all sides, and he thought of throwing himself off, but he was not used to sledge travelling, and so he made up his mind to sit still where he was.
“So when he had driven a good bit, he met a pedlar.
“‘Whither in heaven’s name is the sheriff bound to-day? He has surely little time, and a long way; he drives so fast.’
“But Bruin said never a word, for all he could do was to stick fast.
“A little further on a beggar-woman met him. She nodded to him and greeted him, and begged for a penny, in God’s name. But Bruin said never a word, but stuck fast and drove on faster than ever.
“So when he had gone a bit further, Reynard the fox met him.
“‘Ho! ho!’ said Reynard, ‘are you out taking a drive. Stop a bit, and let me get up behind and be your post-boy.’
“But still Bruin said never a word, but held on like grim death, and drove on as fast as the horse could lay legs to the ground.
“‘Well, well,’ screamed Reynard, after him, ‘if you won’t take me with you I’ll spae your fortune; and that is, though you drive like a dare-devil to-day, you’ll be hanging up to-morrow with the hide off your back.’
“But Bruin never heard a word that Reynard said. On and on he drove just as fast; but when the horse got to the farm, he galloped into the open stable door at full speed, so that he tore off both sledge and harness, and as for poor Bruin, he knocked his skull against the lintel, and there he lay dead on the spot.
“All this time the man knew nothing of what had happened. He rolled down bundle after bundle of leaves, and when he thought he had enough to load his sledge, and went down to bind on the bundles, he could find neither horse nor sledge.
“So he had to tramp along the road to find his horse again, and, after a while, he met the pedlar.
“‘Have you met my horse and sledge?’ he asked.
“‘No,’ said the pedlar; ‘but lower down along the road I met the sheriff; he drove so fast, he was surely going to lay some one by the heels.’
“A while after he met the beggar-woman.
“‘Have you seen my horse and sledge?’ said the man.
“‘No,’ said the beggar-woman, ‘but I met the parson lower down yonder; he was surely going to a parish meeting, he drove so fast, and he had a borrowed horse.’
“A while after, the man met the fox.
“‘Have you seen my horse and sledge?’
“‘Yes! I have,’ said the fox, ‘and Bruin Goodfellow sat on it and drove just as though he had stolen both horse and harness.’
“‘De’il take him,’ said the man, ‘I’ll be bound he’ll drive my horse to death.’
“‘If he does, flay him,’ said Reynard, ‘and roast him before the fire! But if you get your horse again you may give me a lift over the Fell, for I can ride well, and besides, I have a fancy to see how it feels when one has four legs before one.’
“‘What will you give for the lift?’ said the man.
“‘You can have what you like,’ said Reynard; ‘either wet or dry. You may be sure you’ll always get more out of me than out of Bruin Goodfellow, for he is a rough carle to pay off when he takes a fancy to riding and hangs on a horse’s back.’
“‘Well! you shall have a lift over the Fell,’ said the man, ‘if you will only meet me at this spot to-morrow.’
“But he knew that Reynard was only playing off some of his tricks upon him, and so he took with him a loaded gun on the sledge, and when Reynard came, thinking to get a lift for nothing, he got, instead, a charge of shot in his body, and so the husbandman flayed the coat off him too, and then he had gotten both Bruin’s hide and Reynard’s skin.”
Bruin and Reynard Partners
“Once on a time Bruin and Reynard were to own a field in common. They had a little clearing up in the wood, and the first year they sowed rye.
“‘Now we must share the crop as is fair and right,’ said Reynard. ‘If you like to have the root, I’ll take the top.’
“Yes, Bruin was ready to do that; but when they had threshed out the crop, Reynard got all the corn, but Bruin got nothing but roots and rubbish. He did not like that at all; but Reynard said it was how they had agreed to share it.
“‘This year I have the gain,’ said Reynard; ‘next year it will be your turn. Then you shall have the top, and I shall have to put up with the root.’
“But when spring came, and it was time to sow, Reynard asked Bruin what he thought of turnips.
“‘Aye, aye!’ said Bruin, ‘that’s better food than corn;’ and so Reynard thought also. But when harvest came Reynard got the roots, while Bruin got the turnip-tops. And then Bruin was so angry with Reynard that he put an end at once to his partnership with him.”
Reynard Wants to Taste Horse-Flesh
“One day as Bruin lay by a horse which he had slain, and was hard at work eating it, Reynard was out that day too, and came up spying about and licking his lips, if he might get a taste of the horse-flesh. So he doubled and turned till he got just behind Bruin’s back, and then he jumped on the other side of the carcass and snapped a mouthful as he ran by. Bruin was not slow either, for he made a grab at Reynard and caught the tip of his red brush in his paw; and ever since then Reynard’s brush is white at the tip, as any one may see.
“But that day Bruin was merry, and called out, “‘Bide a bit, Reynard; and come hither, and I’ll tell you how to catch a horse for yourself.’
“Yes, Reynard was ready enough to learn, but he did not for all that trust himself to go very close to Bruin.
“‘Listen,’ said Bruin, ‘when you see a horse asleep, sunning himself in the sunshine, you must mind and bind yourself fast by the hair of his tail to your brush, and then you must make your teeth meet in the flesh of his thigh.’
“As you may fancy, it was not long before Reynard found out a horse that lay asleep in the sunshine, and then he did as Bruin had told him; for he knotted and bound himself well into the hair of his tail, and made his teeth meet in the horse’s thigh.
“Up sprang the horse, and began to kick and rear and gallop, so that Reynard was dashed against stock and stone, and got battered black and blue, so that he was not far off losing both wit and sense. And while the horse galloped, they passed Jack Longears, the Hare.
“‘Whither away so fast, Reynard?’ cried Jack Longears.
“‘Post haste, on business of life and death, dear Jack,’ cried Reynard.
“And with that Jack stood up on his hind legs, and laughed till his sides ached and his jaws split right up to his ears. It was so funny to see Reynard ride post haste.
“But you must know, since that ride Reynard has never thought of catching a horse for himself. For that once at least it was Bruin who had the best of it in wit, though they do say he is most often as simple-minded as the Trolls.”
Many other stories Edward and I heard that season up on the Fjeld, either from the girls, or Peter, or Anders; and here some of them follow standing by themselves, and not set in a frame.