Different Kinds of Friendship. (Homilies on St. Matthew, Lx., Vol. Ii., P. 199.)
Let us now consider the various forms which friendship takes with the majority of men. One man loves because he is loved; another because he has been honoured; another shows a liking for a man who has been of use to him in some practical matter or other; another, again, for some such similar reason; but it is difficult, indeed, to find a man who loves his neighbour thoroughly and as he ought for Christ’s sake. For in most cases it is temporal business which brings men together. St. Paul did not love in this way: he loved for Christ’s sake, so that he loved others whether he was loved by them or not, and did not break charity, since he had laid a strong foundation for his love-charm. It is not so now; indeed, if we search diligently, we shall find in most men a fictitious friendship rather than this. And if anyone gave me power to enquire into the matter in so great a multitude, I could show that the majority are bound to each other for worldly reasons. This is apparent from the causes which produce enmity. Since, then, men are bound to each other for motives so paltry, there is neither warmth nor fidelity in their mutual dealings; but contempt, and money losses, and jealousy, the love of honour, or any similar thing showing itself, destroys the love-charm. It rests not upon a spiritual foundation. If it were so, worldly things would never break up spiritual things. The love, indeed, which is born of Christ is strong and enduring and invincible, and nothing has power to dissolve it—neither calumnies, nor dangers, nor death, nor any other of these things whatsoever. If a man who thus loves should suffer in a thousand ways, contemplating that on which love rests, he stands unmoved. But the man who loves because he is loved, if he should suffer some foolish thing or other, breaks up his friendship, whilst the former is firm to the end. This is why St. Paul said, Charity never falleth away. What answer would you make? That the man whom you have honoured is a reviler? or that the one whom you have benefited would wish to put you to death? But if you love for Our Lord’s sake, this encourages you to love all the more. For those things which are destructive to love in other cases become productive of it in this particular one. How so? In the first place, because the man so loved is the cause of your reward; secondly, because one thus situated requires special help and much care. On this account a man who loves for Our Lord’s sake does not enquire about family, or country, or riches, or demand love in return: he concerns himself about none of these things, but even if he be hated, or despised, or destroyed, he still loves, because his affection is built on a strong foundation—Christ. Hence he stands firm, steadfast, immutable, with his eyes on Our Lord. So it was that Christ loved His enemies—harsh men, scoffers, blasphemers, haters, those who wished not even to see Him, those who preferred stones and wood to His love, and He loved them with the charity from above, in comparison with which there is no other charity to be found. For, He says, no man hath greater charity than this, that he giveth his life for his friends. See how loving He ceases not to be towards the very men who crucified Him and reviled Him. He even spoke for them to His Father, saying, Forgive them, for they know not what they do. And, later on, He charged His disciples with those same men. Let us, then, be zealous for this same charity, and strive to possess it, that, being made the imitators of Christ, we may enjoy both present and future good things by the grace and tenderness of Our Lord Jesus Christ, to Whom be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen.