A New Ballad of a Famous German Prince and a Renowned English Duke
Who on St. James’s Day One thousand 666 fought with a Beast with Seven Heads, call’d Provinces; not by land, but by water; not to be said, but sung; not in High English nor Low Dutch but to a new French tune, called Monsieur Ragou; or, The Dancing Hobby-horses.
There happen’d of late a terrible fray,
Begun upon our St. James’s Day,
With a thump, thump, thump, thump, thump,
Thump, thump, a thump, thump,
Where Rupert and George for Charlemaign
Swing’d the Dutch again and again
(As if they had been but the French or Dane),
With a thump, etc.
’Twas brave Tom Allen led the van,
Stout Uther, and bold Tiddiman,
With a thump, etc.;
And then our immortal generalls
With twenty thousand thunder-balls
Pierc’d their boggie flesh-mud-walls,
With a thump, thump, etc.
The game was hot, and then you’ll swear
That Jordan (Heart of Oak) was there,
With a thump, thump, etc.;
And gallant Holmes, that never fails,
Torn and hurt, yet still prevails,
Valiant with or without his sails,
With a thump, thump, etc.
The Royal Charles was all their aim,
(For there they knew was princely game),
With a thump, etc.
Seven Provinces here spend their quire
(De Ruyter’s mighty triple tyre),
But had his answer all in fire,
With a thump, thump, etc.
For here our glorious Prince and Duke
Gave him such a sore rebuke,
With a thump, etc.,
That now De Ruyter finds it clear
The warlike English have no peer,
Who dare do anything but fear
A thump, thump, etc.
The Soveraign came to revenge her wrongs
(Becalm’d a while for want of lungs),
Without any thump, etc.,
But soon as her dredful sail displaied,
Good Lord, what lanes and wrecks she made!
The devill a Dutch came nigh or staid,
For fear of a thump, thump, etc.
Her balls of fire, the Flemming sees,
Are thrice as big as a Holland cheese,
With a thump, etc.;
And now they ran, they ran, they ran,
And left poor Zealand shift as it can;
They made him there rere, who would be the van—
—Van Trump, Trump, Trump, etc.
The King’s own colours (Red and White)
Pursu’d the Boors all day and night,
With a thump, etc.
O how ’twould Lords and Commons please
To see our Soveraign of the Seas
Chasing their Seven Provinces,
With a thump, etc.
Over flatts and banks we fir’d their tails
Till we heard their croaking nightingales,
With a thump, etc.
This difference ’twixt two navies stands:
Ours built for the sea, and theirs for the sands;
We had sent them else to their last Netherlands
With a thump, thump, etc.
Their shott still at our tackling flew,
Lest when they ran we should pursue,
With a thump, etc.;
For though the Dutch are sea-men grown,
Bold English are the marks-men known,
And therefore kill them six for one,
With a thump, thump, etc.
Our rere was Smith, with other two
(Spragge and Kempthorn) both true blew,
With a thump, etc.
And here the Zealanders came on,
Who stoutly gave us gun for gun,
Till Holland-like they also run,
With a thump, thump, etc.
‘In, in, in, in,’ said valiant Spragge,
‘Wee’l beat this vapouring Trump to th’ Hague’
With a thump, etc.
His chaplain fell to his wonted work,
Cryed, ‘Now for the King and the Duke of York!’
He prayed like a Christian and fought like a Turk,
With a thump, thump, etc.
Six thousand Dutch (a Low-Country dish)
We sent to their own cozen the fish,
With a thump, etc.
The rest into holes so tamely crawl
That little Fanfan dar’d them all,
Great Rupert’s sloop is an admirall.
With a thump, thump, etc.
What Amsterdamnable cowards are these
To boast that they were lords of the seas,
With a thump, etc.
Their impudent Gazette proclaims
How bravely they lock’d up the Thames!
But had no leave from Charles or James,
And therefore had a thump, thump, etc.
And now De Witt’s new Holland Rump
(Who rides the States) will burn to th’ stump,
With a thump, etc.;
For George in England once before
Hath fir’d one Rump, and will do more,
Till men and bells all Dutch-land o’re
Sing rump, rump, etc.
Then let them invent some other cheat,
Go hang their captains ’cause th’ are beat
With a thump, etc.
Let Monsieur and Myn Heer that snarls
At our Soveraign and Royal Charles,
Beware of Ruperts and Albemarles.
With a thump, thump, etc.
[Sir John Birkenhead.]