The Newest Thing in Christmas Carols

Anonymous

God rest you, merry gentlemen!

May nothing you dismay;

Not even the dyspeptic plats

Through which you’ll eat your way;

Nor yet the heavy Christmas bills

The season bids you pay;

No, nor the ever tiresome need

Of being to order gay;

Nor yet the shocking cold you’ll catch

If fog and slush hold sway;

Nor yet the tumbles you must bear

If frost should win the day;

Nor sleepless nights—they’re sure to come—

When “waits” attune their lay;

Nor pantomimes, whose dreariness

Might turn macassar gray;

Nor boisterous children, home in heaps,

And ravenous of play;

Nor yet—in fact, the host of ills

Which Christmases array.

God rest you, merry gentlemen,

May none of these dismay!