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Rip Van Winkle: A Play

by Charles Burke

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Scene Last

The Court House.—An arm-chair at the back, in front of which is a large table, covered with baize.—On each side a gallery.—On the right of table are chairs.

Music.—The Judge discovered, seated.—The galleries filled with auditors.—Herman.—Knickerbocker.

Judge.

Mr. Knickerbocker, you will please to bring your client into court.

Knickerbocker goes off, and returns with Lorrenna and Alice.

Judge.

Be pleased to let your ladies take seats. [Lorrenna and Alice sit.

Herman.

And now, sir, I presume ’tis time to enter on my cause. Twenty years have elapsed since this contract, this bond was signed by the father of that lady, by which she or her fortune were made mine. Be pleased to peruse. [Presenting the document to the Judge.

Judge.

[Reading.] “We, Derric Van Slaus, Burgomaster, and Rip Van Winkle, desirous of providing for the prosperity of our offspring, do hereby mutually agree that Herman Van Slaus and Lorrenna Van Winkle shall be united on the demand of either. Whosoever of those contracted, fails in fulfilling this agreement, shall forfeit their fortune to the party complaining.

“Rip Van Winkle”
“Derric Van Slaus.”

But here’s a codicil. “Should the said Rip Van Winkle think fit to annul this contract within twenty years and a day, he shall be at full liberty to do so. (Signed) Derric Van Slaus.” The document is perfect in every form. Rip Van Winkle, ’tis stated, is defunct. Is there any one present to prove his signature?

Herman.

Mr. Knickerbocker, if he dare be honest, will attest it.

Knickerbocker.

Dare be honest, sir! presume you to question my veracity? How was that bond obtained?

Herman.

Why should you ask? The late Rip Van Winkle, anxious for the prosperity of his offspring, though too indolent to provide for their subsistence, persuaded my deceased father to form this alliance.

Knickerbocker.

It’s a lie! Hum!—

Judge.

Restrain this violence! a court of justice must not be swayed by such proceedings.

Herman.

Behold! sir, a picture of their general effrontery. In a public tribunal to threaten those, who, in pleading their own rights, but advocate the cause of justice.

Lorrenna.

[Comes down stage.] All my hopes vanish—bleak and dreary is the perspective.

Herman.

[Advances.] At last I triumph! Now, lady, your hand or your inheritance.

Lorrenna.

My hand! never! Welcome were every privation to an union with one so base.

Judge.

It appears, then, that this signature is not denied by the defendant, and in that case the contract must stand in full force against her.

Lorrenna.

Oh, Alice, take me home: poverty, death, anything rather than wed the man I cannot love. [She is led off by Alice.

Knickerbocker.

Why, damn it, Judge!

Judge.

Mr. Knickerbocker!

Knickerbocker.

I beg pardon, I meant no disrespect to the court, but I had thought after—

Judge.

I have decided, Mr. Knickerbocker.

Knickerbocker.

Oh! you have decided. Yes, and a damned pretty mess you’ve made of it. But I sha’n’t abide by your decision; I’ll appeal to a higher court. I am now a member of the Legislature, and if they allow such blocks as you on the bench, I’ll have a tax upon timber, sir—yes, sir, a tax upon timber. [Exit, in a rage.

Judge.

Twenty years and a day is the period within which the contract could be cancelled by the negature of Rip Van Winkle, and as he has rendered no opposition during this lengthened time—

Herman.

’Tis not very probable, sir, that he will alter his intentions by appearing to do so within the few brief hours that will complete the day. Can the grave give up its inmates? No, no! Who dare pretend to dispute my rights? The only one who could do so has been dead these twenty years.

Enter Gustaffe and Rip.

Gustaffe.

’Tis false! Rip Van Winkle stands before you!

Omnes.

Rip Van Winkle!

Herman.

You, Rip Van Winkle! Van Winkle come back after such a lapse of time? Impossible!

Rip.

Nothing at all impossible in anything Rip Van Winkle undertakes, and, though all of you are in the same story, dat he has been gone so long, he is nevertheless back soon enough, to your sorrow, my chap.

Herman.

If this, indeed, be Rip Van Winkle, where has he hid himself for twenty years?

Judge.

What answer do you make to this?

Rip.

Why, dat I went up in de mountains last night, and got drunk mit some jolly dogs, and when I come back dis morning I found myself dead for twenty years.

Herman.

You hear him, sir.

Judge.

This is evidently an impostor; take him into custody.

Gustaffe.

Stay! delay your judgement one moment till I bring the best of proofs—his child and sister. [Exit.

Herman.

If you are Rip Van Winkle, some one here would surely recognize you.

Rip.

To be sure dey will! every one knows me in Catskill. [All gather round him and shake their heads.] No, no, I don’t know dese peoples—dey don’t know me neither, and yesterday dere was not a dog in the village but would have wagged his tail at me; now dey bark. Dere’s not a child but would have scrambled on my knees—now dey run from me. Are we so soon forgotten when we’re gone? Already dere is no one wot knows poor Rip Van Winkle.

Herman.

So, indeed, it seems.

Rip.

And have you forgot de time I saved your life?

Herman.

Why, I—I—I—

Rip.

In course you have! a short memory is convenient for you, Herman.

Herman.

[Aside] Should this indeed be he! [Aloud.] I demand judgement.

Judge.

Stay! If you be Rip Van Winkle you should have a counterpart of this agreement. Have you such a paper?

Rip.

Paper! I don’t know; de burgomaster gave me a paper last night. I put it in my breast, but I must have loosed him. No, no—here he is! here is de paper! [Gives it to Judge, who reads it.

Judge.

’Tis Rip Van Winkle! [All gather round and shake hands with him.

Rip.

Oh! everybody knows me now!

Herman.

Rip Van Winkle alive! then I am dead to fortune and to fame; the fiends have marred my brightest prospects, and nought is left but poverty and despair. [Exit.

Gustaffe.

[Without.] Room there! who will keep a child from a long lost father’s arms?

Enter Gustaffe, with Lorrenna, Alice and Knickerbocker.

Lorrenna.

My father! [Embraces Rip.

Rip.

Are you mine daughter? let’s look at you. Oh, my child—but how you have grown since you was a little gal. But who is dis?

Alice.

Why, brother!—

Rip.

Alice! give us a hug. Who is dat?

Alice.

Why, my husband—Knickerbocker.

Rip.

Why Knick, [Shakes hands.] Alice has grown as big round as a tub; she hasn’t been living on pumpkins. But where is young Rip, my baby?

Knickerbocker.

Oh, he was in the court-house just now. Ah! here he comes!

Enter Rip Van Winkle, Jr.

Rip.

Is dat my baby? come here, Rip, come here, you dog; I am your father. What an interesting brat it is.

Knickerbocker.

But tell us, Rip, where have you hid yourself for the last twenty years?

Rip.

Ech woll—ech woll. I will take mine glass and tell mine strange story and drink the health of mine frients. Unt, ladies and gents, here is your goot health and your future families and may you all live long and prosper.

The End

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