To — “The J. W. R. Literary Club”
Well, it’s enough to turn his head to have a feller’s name
Swiped with a Literary Club!—But you’re the ones to blame!—
I call the World to witness that I never agged ye to it
By ever writin’ Classic-like—because I couldn’t do it:
I never run to “Hellicon,” ner writ about “Per-nassus,”
Ner ever tried to rack or ride around on old “P-gassus”!
When “Tuneful Nines” has cross’d my lines, the ink ’ud blot and blur it,
And pen ’ud jest putt back fer home, and take the short way fer it!
And so, as I’m a-sayin’,—when you name your Literary
In honor o’ this name o’ mine, it’s railly nessessary—
Whilse I’m a-thankin’ you and all—to warn you, ef you do it,
I’ll haf to jine the thing myse’f ’fore I can live up to it!