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Poetry of the Anti-Jacobin

by Charles Edmonds

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No. XXIV

April 23, 1798.

The Loves of the Triangles. — A Mathematical and Philosophical Poem

(Continued.)

Canto I.

Alas! that partial Science should approve
75
The sly Rectangle’s218 too licentious love!
For three bright nymphs the wily wizard burns;—
Three bright-eyed nymphs requite his flame by turns.
Strange force of magic skill! combined of yore
With Plato’s science and Menecmus’ lore.219
80
In Afric’s school, amid those sultry sands
High on its base where Pompey’s pillar stands,
This learnt the Seer; and learnt, alas! too well,
Each scribbled talisman, and smoky spell:
What muttered charms, what soul-subduing arts,
85
Fell Zatanai220 to his sons imparts.

  Gins221—black and huge! who in Dom-Daniel’s222 cave
Writhe your scorched limbs on sulphur’s223 azure wave;
Or, shivering, yell amidst eternal snows,
Where cloud-capp’d Caf224 protrudes his granite toes;
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(Bound by his will, Judæa’s fabled king,225
Lord of Aladdin’s lamp and mystic ring.)
Gins! ye remember!—for your toil conveyed
Whate’er of drugs the powerful charm could aid;
Air, earth, and sea ye searched, and where below
95
Flame embryo lavas, young volcanoes226 glow,—
Gins! ye beheld appall’d th’ enchanter’s hand
Wave in dark air th’ Hypothenusal wand;
Saw him the mystic Circle trace, and wheel
With head erect, and far-extended heel;227
100
Saw him, with speed that mocked the dazzled eye,
Self-whirled, in quick gyrations eddying fly:
Till done the potent spell—behold him grown
Fair Venus’ emblem—the Phœnician Cone.228

  Triumphs the Seer, and now secure observes
105
The kindling passions of the rival Curves.

  And first, the fair Parabola229 behold,
Her timid arms, with virgin blush, unfold!
Though, on one focus fixed, her eyes betray
A heart that glows with love’s resistless sway;
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Though, climbing oft, she strives with bolder grace
Round his tall neck to clasp her fond embrace,
Still ere she reach it, from his polished side
Her trembling hands in devious Tangents glide.

  Not thus Hyperbola;230—with subtlest art
115
The blue-eyed wanton plays her changeful part;
Quick as her conjugated axes move
Through every posture of luxurious love,
Her sportive limbs with easiest grace expand;
Her charms unveiled provoke the lover’s hand;
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Unveiled, except in many a filmy ray,
Where light Asymptotes231 o’er her bosom play,
Nor touch her glowing skin, nor intercept the day.

  Yet why, Ellipsis,232 at thy fate repine?
More lasting bliss, securer joys are thine.
125
Though to each fair his treacherous wish may stray,
Though each, in turn, may seize a transient sway,
’Tis thine with mild coercion to restrain,
Twine round his struggling heart, and bind with endless chain.

  Thus, happy France! in thy regenerate land,
130
Where Taste with Rapine saunters hand in hand;
Where, nursed in seats of innocence and bliss,
Reform greets Terror with fraternal kiss;
Where mild Philosophy first taught to scan
The wrongs of Providence, and rights of Man;
135
Where Memory broods o’er Freedom’s earlier scene,
The Lantern bright, and brighter Guillotine;
Three gentle swains evolve their longing arms,
And woo the young Republic’s virgin charms;
And though proud Barras with the fair succeed,
140
Though not in vain th’ Attorney Rewbell plead,
Oft doth th’ impartial nymph their love forego,
To clasp thy crooked shoulders, blest Lepaux!

  So, with dark dirge athwart the blasted heath,
Three Sister Witches hailed the appalled Macbeth.
145

  So, the Three Fates beneath grim Pluto’s roof,
Strain the dun warp, and weave the murky woof;
’Till deadly Atropos with fatal shears
Slits the thin promise of the expected years,
While ’midst the dungeon’s gloom or battle’s din,
150
Ambition’s victims perish, as they spin.

  Thus, the Three Graces on the Idalian green
Bow with deft homage to Cythera’s Queen;
Her polished arms with pearly bracelets deck,
Part her light locks, and bare her ivory neck;
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Round her fair form ethereal odours throw,
And teach th’ unconscious zephyrs where to blow,
Floats the thin gauze, and glittering as they play,
The bright folds flutter in phlogistic day,.

  So, with his daughters Three, th’ unsceptered Lear
160
Heaved the loud sigh, and poured the glistering tear:
His daughters Three, save one alone, conspire
(Rich in his gifts) to spurn their generous sire;
Bid the rude storm his hoary tresses drench,
Stint the spare meal, the hundred knights retrench;
165
Mock his mad sorrow, and with altered mien
Renounce the daughter, and assert the queen.
A father’s griefs his feeble frame convulse,
Rack his white head, and fire his feverous pulse;
Till kind Cordelia soothes his soul to rest,
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And folds the parent-monarch to her breast.

  Thus some fair spinster grieves in wild affright,
Vexed with dull megrim, or vertigo light;
Pleased round the fair, Three dawdling doctors stand,
Wave the white wig, and stretch the asking hand,
175
State the grave doubt, the nauseous draught decree,
And all receive, though none deserve, a fee.

  So down thy hill, romantic Ashbourn,233 glides
The Derby dilly, carrying Three Insides.
One in each corner sits, and lolls at ease,
180
With folded arms, propt back, and outstretched knees;
While the pressed Bodkin, punched and squeezed to death,
Sweats in the midmost place, and scolds, and pants for breath.234

(To be continued.)

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