Grasshopper’s Feast
The trumpeter Gad-fly,
Has summon’d the crew,
And the revels are now,
Only waiting for you.
On the smooth shaved grass,
By the side of a wood.
Beneath a broad oak,
Which for ages had stood.
See the children of earth,
And the tenants of air,
To an evening’s amusement,
Together repair.
And there came the Beetle,
So blind and so black,
And carried the Emmet,
His friend on his back.
And there came the Gnat,
And the Dragon-fly too,
And all their relations—
Green, orange and blue.
And there came the Moth
With her plume of down,
And the Hornet with jacket
Of yellow and brown.
Who with him the Wasp,
His companion did bring,
But they promised that evening
To lay by their sting.
The sly little Dormouse,
Peep’d out of his hole,
And led to the feast,
His blind cousin the Mole.
And the Snail with his horns,
Peeping out of a shell.
Came fatigued with the distance,
The length of an ell.
A Mushroom the table,
And on it was spread,
A water-dock leaf,
Which their table-cloth made.
The viands were various,
To each of their taste,
And the Bee brought the honey,
To sweeten the feast
With steps most majestic,
The Snail did advance,
And he promised the gazers
A minuet to dance.
But they all laugh’d so loud,
That he drew in his head,
And went in his own
Little chamber to bed.
Then as the evening gave way
To the shadows of night,
Their watchman the glow-worm
Came out with his light.
Let all good children come to me,
And I’ll learn them their
A B C
A Was an Archer and shot at a frog,
But missing his mark shot into a bog.
B Was a Butcher and had a great dog,
Who always went round the streets with a clog.
C Was a Captain so brave and so grand,
He headed in buff the stately train’d band.
D Was a Drunkard and lov’d a full pot,
His face and his belly shew’d him a great sot.
E Was an Esquire, both lofty and proud,
His servant was softy though he was full loud.
F Was a Farmer and followed the plough,
And gathered good from the sweat of his brow.
G Was a Gamester, and oft would he play,
A poor single ace against a bold tray.
H Hunted the buck, and likewise the doe,
The hart and the fox, and also the roe.
I Was an Image set up at Rome,
Many that see it were better at home.
J Was a Joiner and built him a house,
A little time after there came in a mouse.
K Was a King, who would drink and carouse,
Affrighted was he at a stand and a mouse.
L Was a Lady that lov’d a fine tree,
Though none understood it so little as she.
M Was a Merchant to foreign lands gone.
To bring home fine tea and rich silks anon.
N Was a Noble of birth and high power,
To the poor most gentle, to the haughty most sour.
O With her Oysters, a delicate cry.
Come buy my sweet Oyster, come buy, come buy.
P Was a Parson, and wore a black gown,
For goodness and virtue of high renown.
Q Was a Quaker, both stiff and upright,
In yea and nay they chiefly delight.
R Was a Robber on the highway,
For which he’s been hung this many a day.
S Was a Sailor and liv’d in a ship,
He made the Spaniards and French for to skip.
T Was Tom Tinker and mended a kettle,
While he was hammering was deaf as a beetle.
U Was an Undertaker at work for his bread.
The living must pay, though he works for the dead.
V Was a Vintner that loved his pottle,
Went seldom to bed without his full bottle.
W Was a Watchman, to guard the warehouse,
That rogues did not strip it of every souse.
X Was expensive, and so became poor,
With his little dog begged from door to door.
Y Was a Youngster that lov’d not his school,
But trundled his hoop though out of all rule.
Z Was a Zany that look’d like a fool,
With his long tassell’d cap he was the boy’s fool.
And when your great letters you know,
Then I’ll teach you the small ones also.
An apple pie when it looks nice,
Would make one long to have a slice,
And if its taste should prove so too,
I fear one slice would scarcely do,
So to prevent my asking twice,
Pray mamma, cut a good large slice.
THE
LIFE AND DEATH
OF AN
APPLE PIE.
AB
An Apple-pie.Bit it.
CD
Cut it.Dealt it.
EF
Did eat it.Fought for it.
GH
Got it.Had it.
JK
Join’d for it.Kept it.
LM
Long’d for it.Mourned for it.
NO
Nodded at it.Open’d it.
PQ
Peeped into it.Quartered it.
RS
Ran for it.Stole it.
TV
Took it.View’d it.
WXYZ and &
Wanted it.All wished for
a piece in hand.
At last they every one agreed,
Upon the apple pie to feed;
But as there seem’d to be so many,
Those who were last might not have any,
Unless some method there was taken
That every one might have their bacon,
They all agreed to stand in order,
Around the apple pie’s fine border,
Take turn as they in hornbook stand
From great A down to &,
In equal parts the pie divide,
As you may see on the other side.
A curious Discourse that passed between the Twenty-five Letters at dinner time.
A 1. Says, A, give me a good large slice.
B 2. Says B, a little bit but nice.
C 3. Says C, cut me a piece of crust.
D 4. Take it, says D, ’tis dry as dust.
E 5. Says E, I’ll eat it fast, who will?
F 6. Says F, I vow I’ll have my fill.
G 7. Says G, give it me both good and great.
H 8. Says H, a little bit I hate.
I 9. Says I, I love the juice the best.
K 10. And K, the very same confess’d.
L 11. Says L, there’s nothing more I love.
M 12. Says M, it makes your teeth to move.
N 13. N notic’d what the others said,
O 14. O, others plates with grief survey’d.
P 15. P prais’d the cook up to the life.
Q 16. Q quarrell’d because he’d a bad knife.
R 17. Says R, it runs short I’m afraid.
S 18. S, silent sat and nothing said.
T 19. T, thought that talking might lose time.
U 20. U understood it at meals a crime.
W 21. W wish’d there had been a quince in.
X 22. Says X, those cooks there’s no convincing.
Y 23 Says Y, I’ll eat, let others wish.
Z 24. Z sat as mute as any fish.
& 25. While & he lick’d the dish.
Having concluded their discourse and dinner together, I have nothing more to add; but if my little readers are pleased with what they have found in this book they have nothing to do but to run to J. Paul & Co’s., 2, & 3, Monmouth Court; 7 Dials, where they may have a great variety of books not less entertaining than this of the same size and price.
But that you may not think I leave you too abruptly, I here present you with the picture of dame Dumpling, who made the Apple pie you have been reading about; she has several more in her basket, and she promised that if you are good children you shall never go to bed supperless while she has one left. But as good people always ask a blessing, as a token that you are good and deserve a pie, you must learn the two following Graces, that one be said before your meals, and the other after.
Grace before Meat.
Good Lord, bless us, and these thy creatures, to our use, which we are about to receive, of thy bounteous liberality, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Grace after Meat.
We thank thee, O Lord, for all the benefits of this time, and of our whole lives. Make us thankful for all thy mercies now, and for evermore. Amen.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get the poor dog a bone;
But when she came there the cupboard was bare,
And so the poor dog had none.
London:
Printed by J. Catnach, 2 & 3, Monmouth Court, 7 Dials.
She went to the baker’s to buy him some bread,
When she came back the dog was dead.
Ah! my poor dog, she cried, oh, what shall I do?
You were always my pride—none equal to you.
She went to the undertaker’s to buy him a coffin,
When she came back, the dog was laughing.
Now how this can be quite puzzles my brain,
I am much pleased to see you alive once again.
She went to the barber’s to buy him a wig,
When she came back he was dancing a jig.
O, you dear merry grig, how nicely you’re prancing;
Then she held up the wig, and he began dancing.
She went to the sempstress to buy him some linen,
When she came back the dog was spinning.
The reel, when ’twas done, was wove into a shirt,
Which served to protect him from weather and dirt.
To market she went, to buy him some tripe,
When she came back he was smoking his pipe.
Why, sure, cried the dame, you’d beat the great Jocko.
Who before ever saw a dog smoking tobacco?
She went to the alehouse to buy him some beer,
When she came back he sat on a chair.
Drink hearty, said Dame, there’s nothing to pay,
’Twill banish your sorrow and moisten your clay.
She went to the fruiterer’s to buy him some fruit,
When she came back he was playing the flute.
Oh, you musical dog, you surely can speak:
Come, sing me a song, then he set up a squeak.
She went to the tavern for white wine and red,
When she came back he stood on his head.
This is odd, said the dame, for fun you seem bred,
One would almost believe you’d wine in your head.
The dog he cut capers, and turned out his toes,
’Twill soon cure the vapours, he such attitude shows.
The dame made a curtsey, the dog made a bow,
The dame said, Your servant, the dog said Bow wow.