The Dinner-Table
CXXI
Invitations to dinner must of course be answered to the lady. Cards of invitation to a dinner party are usually issued from three days to a fortnight previous to the entertainment; they should specify the hour of meeting. The proper number for such a party is somewhat in dispute: the happy medium may be considered ten.
CXXII
As persons are necessarily introduced at a dinner party, only such persons as are known to each other, or who mutually desire to be acquainted should be invited, except under the circumstances alluded to in No. I.
CXXIII
Be punctual to the hour appointed.
CXXIV
When an invitation is accepted, let nothing but imperative necessity compel you to break the engagement, or at the last moment to send an excuse.
CXXV
When your guests enter, present them to the others, and if any delay occur, let the conversation be light and on commonplace topics.
CXXVI
It is usual for the host or hostess to point out to the gentlemen the ladies they are to conduct to the dining-room, according to some real or imaginary standard (age or distinction). If persons of distinction are present, it is desirable that this should be done—of course giving them precedence.
CXXVII
The hostess follows her guests to the dining-room, the host having led the way with the lady of most consideration; the gentleman of the greatest distinction accompanies the hostess to the dining-room.
CXXVIII
The hostess takes the head of the table: the seat of honor for a gentleman is at her right hand; for a lady, it is to the right of the host.
CXXIX
Ladies do not wear gloves during dinner.
CXXX
In the best houses, the operation of carving is performed at the side tables; i. e. the principal joint, or joints, which require strength in the operation, are there carved.
CXXXI
Table napkins are indispensable at the dinner table; and silver forks are now met with in almost every respectable house. Steel forks, except for carving, are now seldom placed upon the dinner table.
CXXXII
It is usual to commence with soup, which never refuse; if you do not eat it, you can toy with it until it is followed by fish; of either of which never take more than once.
CXXXIII
When all are seated, send a plate of soup to every one. Do not ask any one if they will be helped, as every one takes it, of course.
CXXXIV
Always feed yourself with the fork; a knife is only used as a divider. Use a dessert spoon in eating tarts, puddings, curries, &c., &c.
CXXXV
If what you are eating before the dessert has any liquid, sop the bread and then raise it to the mouth. For articles of the dessert having liquid, a spoon is usually provided.
CXXXVI
In helping sauce or vegetables, place them upon the side of the viands on the plate.
CXXXVII
If anything is sent you from the host or hostess, do not offer it to any other person; and when helped do not wait until others are served, but at once arrange your napkin, and proceed to the important business of the moment.
CXXXVIII
In helping a joint, do not overload a person’s plate; and if game, or any particularly select dish is placed before you, serve it with discretion.
CXXXIX
In helping, wherever a spoon can be conveniently used, it is preferable to the use of a knife and fork.
CXL
Fish must be helped with a fish slice: you may carve it more dexterously by taking a spoon in your left hand.
CXLI
Soup must be eaten from the side, not the point of the spoon; and, in eating it, be careful not to make a noise, by strongly inhaling the breath: this habit is excessively vulgar; you cannot eat too quietly.
CXLII
In helping soup, recollect that a little more than a ladle full is sufficient.
CXLIII
As hostess, do not press people to eat more than they appear inclined to take, nor force upon them any particular dish which you may think superexcellent. If any difficulty occurs in carving, you should feel no diffidence in requesting the gentleman to your right or left to assist you: it is a part of their duty and privilege.
CXLIV
Do not ask any one at the table to help you to anything, but apply to the servant.
CXLV
The hostess should never send away her plate until all the guests have finished.
CXLVI
When you send your plate for anything, leave your knife and fork upon it. When you have done, place both together on one side of the plate.
CXLVII
Servants wait at table in white gloves, or have a fine napkin in their hand, which prevents its contact with your plate.
CXLVIII
Finger-glasses come on with the dessert; wet a corner of your napkin and wipe your mouth; then immerse your fingers in the water and dry them with the napkin.
CXLIX
As hostess, you will give the signal for retiring by rising from the table. The time for so doing varies in different companies, and must be left to your discretion.
CL
Should your servants break anything while you are at table, do not appear to notice it. If they betray stupidity or awkwardness, avoid reprimanding them publicly, as it only draws attention to their errors, and adds to their embarrassment.
CLI
During the week which follows the entertainment, each of the guests owes a visit to the entertainer. Converse about the dinner, the pleasure you have enjoyed, and of the persons whom you have met there.
CLII
The mistress of the house should never appear to pride herself regarding what is on her table, nor confuse herself with apologies for the bad cheer which she may offer you; it is much better for her to observe silence in this respect, and leave it to her guests to pronounce eulogiums on the dinner.
CLIII
Ladies should not leave the table before the end of the entertainment, unless from urgent necessity. If it is a married lady, she requests some one to accompany her; if unmarried, she goes with her mother.