Preface
The present work has had an extensive circulation in France, the country which we are accustomed to consider as the genial soil of politeness; and the publishers have thought it would be rendering a useful service on this side of the Atlantic to issue a translation of it.
Some foreign visitors in our country, whose own manners have not always given them a right to be censors of others, have very freely told us what we ought not to do; and it will be useful to know from respectable authority, what is done in polished society in Europe, and, of course, what we ought to do, in order to avoid all just censure. This object, we are confident, will be more effectually accomplished by the study of the principles and rules contained in the present volume, than by any other of the kind.
By persons who are deemed competent judges in such a case, this little work has been pronounced to be one of the most useful and practical works extant upon the numerous and delicate topics which are discussed in it. We are aware, that a man can no more acquire the ease and elegance of a finished gentleman, by any manual of this kind, than in the fine arts he could become a skilful painter or sculptor by studying books alone, without practice. It is, however, equally true, that the principles of Politeness may be studied, as well as the principles of the arts. At the same time, intercourse with polite society, in other words, practice, as in the case of the arts, must do the rest.
The reader will find in this volume some rules founded on customs and usages peculiar to France and other countries, where the Roman Catholic religion is established. But it was thought better to retain them in the work, than to mutilate it, by making such material alterations as would have been occasioned by expunging every thing of that description. In our liberal and tolerant country, these peculiarities will give offence to none; while to many, their novelty, at least, will be interesting.
The Translator.
Boston, May 6, 1833.
Part I
| Page. | ||
|---|---|---|
| Introduction. | ||
| Of Propriety of Deportment, and its Advantages | iii | |
| CHAPTER I. | ||
| Of Propriety of Conduct in Relation to Religious Duties | 1 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of respectful Deportment at Church | ibid. |
| 2. Of religious Propriety in our Intercourse with the World | 6 | |
| CHAPTER II. | ||
| Of Propriety of Conduct in Relation to Domestic Duties | 9 | |
| CHAPTER III. | ||
| Of Propriety of Conduct in Conjugal and Domestic Relations | 12 | |
| CHAPTER IV. | ||
| Of Propriety as regards one’s self | 19 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of the Toilet | ibid. |
| 2. Of Reputation | 27 | |
| CHAPTER V. | ||
| Of Propriety in regard to one’s Business or Profession | 32 | |
| Sect. | 1. Politeness of Shopkeepers and Customers | ibid. |
| 2. Politeness between Persons in Office and the Public | 38 | |
| 3. Politeness of Lawyers and their Clients | 39 | |
| 4. Politeness of Physicians and their Patients | 40 | |
| 5. Politeness of Artists and Authors, and the deference due to them | 42 | |
| 6. Politeness of Military Men | 46 | |
| 7. Politeness of Ecclesiastics and Females of Religious Orders; and the deference due to them | 48 | |
Part II — Of Propriety of Deportment in Regard to Our Social Relations
| CHAPTER I. | ||
| Of Deportment in the Street | 50 | |
| CHAPTER II. | ||
| Of different kinds of Visits | 59 | |
| CHAPTER III. | ||
| Of the Manner of receiving Visitors | 75 | |
| CHAPTER IV. | ||
| Of the Carriage of the Body | 82 | |
| CHAPTER V. | ||
| Of Physical Proprieties in Conversation | 88 | |
| Sect. | 1. Physical Observances in Conversation | ibid. |
| 2. Of Gestures | 90 | |
| 3. Of the Talent of listening to others | 92 | |
| 4. Of Pronunciation | 97 | |
| 5. Of Correctness in Speaking | 100 | |
| CHAPTER VI. | ||
| Of the Moral Observances in Conversation | 104 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of Formal and Vulgar Usages | ibid. |
| 2. Of Questions and frequently recurring Expressions | 110 | |
| 3. Of Narrations, Analysis, and Digressions | 111 | |
| 4. Of Suppositions and Comparisons | 118 | |
| 5. Of Discussions and Quotations | 119 | |
| 6. Of Pleasantry, Proverbs, Puns, and Bon Mots | 121 | |
| 7. Of Eulogiums, Complainings, Improprieties in general, and Prejudices | 125 | |
| CHAPTER VII. | ||
| Of Epistolary Composition | 130 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of Propriety in Letter Writing | ibid. |
| 2. Of the Interior and Exterior Form of Letters | 136 | |
| CHAPTER VIII. | ||
| Additional Rules in respect to the Social Relations | 146 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of an obliging Deportment | ibid. |
| 2. Of Presents | 151 | |
| 3. Of Advice | 154 | |
| 4. Of Discretion | 155 | |
| CHAPTER IX. | ||
| Of Travelling | 159 | |
Part III — Of Propriety in Relation to Pleasures
| CHAPTER I. | ||
| Of Entertainments. | 163 | |
| CHAPTER II. | ||
| Of Promenades, Parties, and Amusements | 171 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of Promenades | ibid. |
| 2. Of Parties and Amusements | 175 | |
| 3. Little Sports and Games of Society | 180 | |
| CHAPTER III. | ||
| Of Balls, Concerts, and Public Shows | 182 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of Balls | ibid. |
| 2. Of Concerts | 188 | |
| 3. Of Public Shows and Spectacles | 189 | |
| CHAPTER IV. | ||
| Of the Duties of Hospitality | 193 | |
Part IV — Of Propriety as Regards Other Circumstances
| CHAPTER I. | ||
| Of Marriage and Baptism | 196 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of Marriage | ibid. |
| 2. Of Baptism | 202 | |
| CHAPTER II. | ||
| Of Duties toward the Unfortunate | 205 | |
| Sect. | 1. Of Duties toward the Sick, Infirm, and Unfortunate | ibid. |
| 2. Of Funerals and Mourning | 208 | |