Chapter XLII Archie Armstrong’s Oath
“And oft since then, to England’s King,
The story he has told;
And aye, when he ’gan rock and sing,
Charlie his sides would hold.”
Archie Armstrong lived in Eskdale, where he did his best to keep up the grand reputation of his family as being among the very boldest sheep-stealers of the Border. His house was at Stubholm, where the Wauchope stream runs into the river Esk, near where the picturesque town of Langholm now stands. Living in the reign of Charles I., after the union of crowns, the profession of freebooter was far less honourable than of old. He could not now plead that he was a Border soldier, fighting against his nation’s enemy. The wild Border blood in him might cry out for the old adventurous career, but he could no longer hope for the aid of powerful Border families. When cornered, his sole protector would be his own wits, and woe betide him if they failed!
Archie’s house was about eight miles from the Border, and he could not help strolling towards the fascinating line and tasting the sweetness of temptation. When the chance came that seemed to him sufficiently safe, he would go home in company though he had walked out alone; the “company” being a good fat English sheep. One night a shepherd had marked him lingering about, and had watched him, and raised an alarm. Away went stout Archie at a Marathon pace; half way home he passed Gilnockie tower, where his ancestor bold Johnie Armstrong lived so gaily. “Alas!” thought Archie, dolefully, “he too was hanged in the end!”
He got home well in front of his pursuers, but his wife gave him small encouragement. With typical Scottish dourness she remarked to him, “Ye will be ta’en this night and hanged i’ the morning.”
But Archie put a braw face on it, and declared that he would never hang for one silly sheep. Quicker than any butcher he skinned and roughly trimmed the dead animal, throwing the rejected parts into the swift stream. Then rejoicing in the fact that his child was away with its aunt, he put the carcase carefully in the cradle and began rocking it and singing a lullaby to it, as if he were the most loving father in all the British Isles.
The pursuers now rushed in, and began to accuse Archie triumphantly; but he rebuked them for making so much noise, telling them that his child was at death’s door! As for stealing their sheep, he took a solemn oath that if he had done such a thing he would ask to be doomed to “eat the flesh this very cradle holds!”
Such an oath on the Borders was a very serious matter; they little knew that the only flesh in the cradle was sheep’s flesh, which Archie asked nothing better than to devour!
Impressed but not convinced, his enemies carefully searched the whole of Archie’s house and garden; it was only with very great unwillingness that they at last decided that they must miss the supreme pleasure of hanging him! They went away saying that they must have been deluded by the devil or by witches; and the shepherd resolved to hang a branch of rowan-tree (mountain-ash) by his fold, for that was well-known to have the power to keep witches away.
As soon as they were all on their road to England again, Archie skipped about like a dancing fiddler. “Wife,” he said, “I never knew before that I would make such a good nurse.”
After this Archie wandered down to London, and his wild jests becoming famous, he was made Court Jester by King Charles I. And many a time he acted the story to the King, rocking a pretended cradle, and singing a persuasive lullaby, to the King’s intense amusement.
Nevertheless, Archie lost his place by his boldness. These were the days of Archbishop Laud (1637), who was hated by the Scots. One day, as the archbishop was about to say grace before dinner, Archie asked the King’s permission to say grace instead. The King consented, and the jester’s double-meaning words were as follows:—
“All praise to God, and little laud to the devil!”
The archbishop, in many senses a little man, had Archie dismissed in disgrace. But, such were the chances of these uncertain times, the archbishop was executed in the end, while the sheepstealer escaped that fate!