IV
As for the Reds, Jack had been over to their place once or twice. They were a rough crowd of men and youths, father and mother both dead. A bachelor establishment. When there was any extra work to be done, the Wandoos went over there to help. And the Reds came over to Wandoo the same. In fact they came more often to Wandoo than the Ellises went to them.
Jack felt the Reds didn’t like him. So he didn’t care for them. Red Ellis, the eldest son, was about thirty years old, a tall, sinewy, red-faced man with reddish hair and reddish beard and staring blue eyes. One morning when Tom and Mr. Ellis were out mustering and tallying, Jack was sent over to the Red house. This was during Jack’s first fortnight at Wandoo.
Red the eldest met him in the yard.
“Where’s y’oss?”
“I haven’t one. Mr. Ellis said you’d lend me one.”
“Can y’ ride?”
“More or less.”
“What d’ye want wearin’ that Hyde Park costume out here for?”
“I’ve nothing else to ride in,” said Jack, who was in his old riding breeches.
“Can’t y’ ride in trousers?”
“Can’t keep ’em over my knees, yet.”
“Better learn then, smart ’n’lively. Keep them down, ’n’ y’socks up. Come on then, blast ye, an’ I’ll see about a horse.”
They went to the stockyard, an immense place. But it was an empty desert now, save for a couple of black-boys holding a wild-looking bay. Red called out to them:
“Caught Stampede, have y’? Well, let ’im go again afore y’ break y’ necks. Y’r not to ride him, d’y hear?—What’s in the stables, Ned?”
“Your mare, master. Waiting for you.”
“What y’ got besides, ye grinning jackasses? Find something for Mr. Grant here, an’ look slippy.”
“Oh, master, no horse in, no knowin’ stranger come.”
Red turned to Jack. Easu was a coarse, swivel-eyed, loose-jointed tall fellow.
“Y’ hear that. Th’ only thing left in this yard is Stampede. Ye k’n take him or leave him, if y’r frightened of him. I’m goin’ tallyin’ sheep, an’ goin’ now. If ye stop around idlin’ all day, y’needn’t tell Uncle ’twas my fault.”
Jack hesitated. From a colonial point of view, he couldn’t ride well, and he knew it. Yet he hated Easu’s insulting way. Easu went grinning to the stable to fetch his mare, pleased with himself. He didn’t want the young Jackeroo planted on him, to teach any blankey thing to.
Jack went slowly over to the quivering Stampede, and asked the blacks if they had ever ridden him. One answered:
“Me only fella ride ’im some time master not tomorrow. Me an’ Ned catch him in mob longa time—Try break him—no good. He come back paddock one day. Ned wantta break him. No good. Master tell ’im let ’im go now.”
Red Easu came walking out of the stable, chewing a stalk.
“Put the saddle on him,” said Jack to the blacks. “Ill try.”
The boys grinned and scuffled round. They rather liked the job. By being very quick and light, Jack got into the saddle, and gripped. The boys stood back, the horse stood up, and then whirled around on his hind legs, and round and down. Then up and away like a squib round the yard. The boys scattered, so did Easu, but Jack, because it was natural for his legs to grip and stick, stuck on. His bones rattled, his hat flew off, his heart beat high. But unless the horse came down backwards on top of him, he could stay on. And he was not really afraid. He thought: “If he doesn’t go down backwards on top of me, I shall be all right.” And to the boys he called: “Open the gate!” Meanwhile he tried to quiet the horse. “Steady now, steady!” he said, in a low, intimate voice. “Steady boy!” And all the time he held on with his thighs and knees, like iron.
He did not believe in the innate viciousness of the horse. He never believed in the innate viciousness of anything, except a man. And he did not want to fight the horse for simple mastery. He wanted just to hold it hard with his legs until it soothed down a little, and he and it could come to an understanding. But he must never relax the hold of his hard legs, or he was dead.
Stampede was not ready for the gate. He sprang fiercely at it as if it had been guarded by fire. Once in the open, he ran, and bucked, and bucked, and ran, and kicked, and bucked, and ran. Jack stuck on with the lower half of his body like a vise, feeling as if his head would be jerked off his shoulders. It was becoming hard work. But he knew, unless he stuck on, he was a dead man.
Then he was aware that Stampede was bolting, and Easu was coming along on a grey mare.
Now they reached the far gate, and a miracle happened. Stampede stood still while Red came up and opened the gate. Jack was conscious of a body of live muscle and palpitating fire between his legs, of a furious head tossing hair like hot wire, and bits of white foam. Also he was aware of the trembling in his own thighs, and the sensual exertion of gripping that hot wild body in the power of his own legs. Gripping the hot horse in a grip of sensual mastery that made him tremble strangely with a curious quivering. Yet he dared not relax.
“Go!” said Red. And away they went. Stampede bolted like the wind, and Jack held on with his knees and by balance. He was thrilled, really: frightened externally, but internally keyed up. And never for a moment did he relax his mind’s attention, nor the attention of his own tossed body. The worst was the corkscrew bucks, when he nearly went over the brute’s head. And the moments of vindictive hate, when he would kill the beast and be killed a thousand times, rather than be beaten. Up he went, off the saddle, and down he came again, with a shattering jerk, down on the front of the saddle. The balance he kept was a mystery even to himself, his body was so flung about, by the volcano of furious life beneath him. He felt himself shaken to pieces, his bones rattled all out of socket. But they got there, out to the sheep paddock where a group of Reds and black-boys stood staring in silence.
Jack jumped off, though his knees were weak and his hands trembling. The horse stood dark with sweat. Quickly he unbuckled the saddle and bridle and pulled them off, and gave the horse a clap on its wet neck. Away it went, wild again, and free.
Jack glanced at the Reds, and then at Easu. Red Easu met his eyes, and the two stared at one another. It was the defiance of the hostile colonial, brutal and retrogressive, against the old mastery of the old country. Jack was barely conscious. Yet he was not afraid, inside himself, of the swivel-eyed brute of a fellow. He knew that Easu was not a better man than himself, though he was bigger, older, and on his own ground. But Jack had the pride of his own, old, well-bred country behind him, and he would never go back on his breeding. He was not going to yield in manliness before the colonial way of life: the brutishness, the commonness. Inwardly he would not give in to it. But the best of it, the colonial honesty and simplicity, that he loved.
There are two sides to colonials, as to everything. One side he loved. The other he refused and defied.
These decisions are not mental, but they are critical in the soul of a boy of eighteen. And the destiny of nations hangs on such silent, almost unconscious decisions.
Esau—they called him Easu, but the name was Esau—turned to a black, and bellowed:
“Give master your horse, and carry that bally saddle home.”
Then silently they all turned to the sheep-tallying.