Epilogue
Some say the tale related here
Is amplified and twisted;
Some say it isn’t very clear
That William Tell existed;
Some say he freed his country so,
The Governor demolished.
Perhaps he did. I only know
That taxes aren’t abolished!
[Descriptive Verses]
Prologue
The Swiss, against their Austrian foes,
Had ne’er a soul to lead ’em,
Till Tell, as you’ve heard tell, arose
And guided them to freedom.
Tell’s tale we tell again—an act
For which pray no one scold us—
This tale of Tell we tell, in fact,
As this Tell tale was told us.
Beneath a tyrant foreign yoke,
How love of freedom waxes!
(Especially when foreign folk
Come round collecting taxes.)
The Swiss, held down by Gessler’s fist,
Would fain have used evasion;
Yet none there seemed who could resist
His methods of persuasion.
And pride so filled this Gessler’s soul
(A monarch’s pride outclassing),
He stuck his hat up on a pole,
That all might bow in passing.
Then rose the patriot, William Tell—
“We’ve groaned ’neath Austria’s sway first;
Must we be ruled by poles as well?
I’ve just a word to say first!”
The crowd about the pole at morn
Used various “persuaders”—
They flung old cans (to prove their scorn
Of all tin-pot invaders);
And cabbage-stumps were freely dealt,
And apples (inexpensive),
And rotten eggs (to show they felt
A foreign yoke offensive).
Said William Tell, “And has this cuss
For conquest such a passion
He needs must set his cap at us
In this exalted fashion?”
And then the people gave a cry,
’Twixt joy and apprehension,
To see him pass the symbol by
With studied inattention!
At first the sentinel, aghast,
Glared like an angry dumb thing;
Then “Hi!” he shouted, “not so fast,
You’re overlooking something!”
The sturdy Tell made no response;
Then through the hills resounded
A mighty thwack upon his sconce—
The people were astounded.
Could Tell an insult such as this
Ignore or pass? I doubt it!
No, no; that patriotic Swiss
Was very cross about it.
The people, interested now,
Exclaimed, “Here! Stop a minute
If there’s to be a jolly row,
By Jingo! we’ll be in it!”
Said Tell, “This satrap of the Duke
Is sore in need of gumption;
With my good bow I will rebuke
Such arrow-gant presumption.”
“Stand back!” the soldier says, says he;
“This roughness is unseemly!”
The people cried, “We will be FREE!”
And so they were—extremely!
They dealt that soldier thump on thump
(He hadn’t any notion,
When on Tell’s head he raised that bump,
Of raising this commotion);
Tell’s arrow sped, the people crowed,
And loudly cheered his action;
While Tell’s expressive features showed
A certain satisfaction.
Now, when the cat’s away, the mice
Are very enterprising,
But cats return, and, in a trice—
Well, Gessler nipped that rising.
And when those soldiers lodged complaint
(Which truly didn’t lack ground),
The people practised self-restraint
And fell into the background.
And Tell, before the tyrant hailed,
No patriot you’d have guessed him,
For even his stout bosom quailed
When Gessler thus addressed him:—
“As you’re the crack shot of these Swiss
(I’ve often heard it said so),
Suppose you take a shot at this,
Placed on your youngster’s head—so!”
“The bearing,” as they say, “of that
Lay in the apple-cation,”
And nobody will wonder at
A parent’s agitation;
That anguish filled Tell’s bosom proud
Needs scarcely to be stated,
And, it will be observed, the crowd
Was also agitated.
Said Gessler, “This is all my eye!
Come, hurry up and buck up!
Remember, if you miss, you die—
That ought to keep your pluck up.
The flying arrow may, no doubt,
Your offspring’s bosom enter—”
But here there rose a mighty shout:
“By George! He’s scored a centre!”
But, as the arrow cleft the core,
Cried G. with indignation,
“What was the second arrow for?
Come, no e-quiver-cation!
You had a second in your fist.”
Said Tell, the missile grippin’,
“This shaft (had I that apple missed)
Was meant for you, my pippin!”
With rage the tyrant said, said he,
“It’s time to stop this prating;
I find your style of repartee
Extremely irritating.
You’ll hang for this, be pleased to note.”
On this they bound and gagged him
(For Gessler’s castle booked by boat),
And through the village dragged him.
But slips between the cup and lip,
When least expected, peer through—
A storm arose upon the trip
Which Tell alone could steer through.
Thus, of all hands he quickly got
(As you may see) the upper,
At Gessler took a parting shot,
And hurried home to supper.
Epilogue
Some say the tale related here
Is amplified and twisted;
Some say it isn’t very clear
That William Tell existed;
Some say he freed his country so,
The Governor demolished.
Perhaps he did. I only know
That taxes aren’t abolished!