The Little Dutchess

Once there lived a little Dutchess,
Just beside the Zuyder Zee;
Short and stout and roly-poly,
As a Dutchess ought to be.

She had pigs and she had poultry,
She had lands and she had gold;
And she loved the Burgomaster,—
Loved him more than can be told.

“Surly, burly Burgomaster,
Will you have me for your love?
You shall be my pouter-pigeon,
I will be your turtle-dove.

“You shall have my China porkers,
You shall have each Dorking hen;
Take them with your loving Dutchess,
Oh, you Dutchiest of men!”

Loudly laughed the Burgomaster,
“Naught I care for Dorking fowls;
Naught for pig, unless ’tis roasted,
And on that my doctor scowls.

“Frumpy, stumpy little Dutchess,
I do not incline to wed.
Keep your pigs and keep your poultry!
I will take your gold instead.

“I will take your shining florins,
I will take your fields’ rich hoard;
You may go and tend your piggies
Till your spirits be restored.”

Loudly wept the little Dutchess,
Tending sad each China pig;
Loudly laughed the Burgomaster
’Neath his merry periwig.

Till the Dutchy people, angry
Conduct such as this to see,
Took and plumped the pouter-pigeon
Right into the Zuyder Zee.