Original Size -- Medium-Size
Original Size -- Medium-Size
Jack Settles the Remaining Giants and Settles Down
I.
"Tantara tara, tantara tara, tantara tara,—ra!
Tara tara, tara, tara, tara, tantararan ta—ta!"
II.
Hark to the warlike trumpet blast, the clarion call of fame!
Bounds not the hero's heart if he is worthy of the name?
What time the trump and kettle-drum at glorious Drury Lane,
Call bold King Dick to bide the brunt of Bosworth's battle plain;
So, to the soul of stout Sir Jack, Adventure's summon spoke,
And from her dream of luxury his martial spirit woke.
Before King Arthur's royal throne he knelt upon his knee,
And thus with courtly speech addressed his gracious Majesty:—
III.
"Illustrious Arthur, King of Trumps,
My duty bids me stir my stumps;
Fell Giants yet, your country's pest,
Your faithful liegemen much molest;
'T is my intention, if you will,
Their uncouth highnesses to kill.
I crave some loose cash and a cob,
And trust me, sire, I 'll do the job,
As sure as fate, for every snob."
"Why," said the King, "your plan's romantic
And yet't is true those rogues gigantic
Have wrought my subjects much annoy:—
Well; go and prosper, Jack, my boy;
I hope and trust you 'll put them down;
So here's a horse, and—half-a-crown.
IV.
With cap and brand,—
You understand
Well what their virtues were,-
And shoes so swift,
His uncle's gift,
Jack canters off like air:
Like air as fleet, and as viewless too,
Intent on doing "deeds of do."
"Over hill and over mountain,
Thorough forest and by fountain,"
Jack flies by day,
Gallant and gay.
Jack flies by day, though none can spy him—
Learn every one
Bored by a dun,
And take a lesson, debtors, by him—
Jack flies by night,
In the moonlight,
No "four-year-old" could have come nigh him.
At length he came to a forest vast,
Through which his journey led;
When shrieks arose upon the blast,—
"Hallo," said Jack, "who's dead? "
Like a fern owl he flits through the forest trees,
And, as he expected, a Giant he sees,
Dragging a couple along by the hair—
They were a knight and a lady fair,
And theirs was the row that rent the air.
The heart of Jack,
No way slack,
Was melted by their tears and cries;
Benevolent lad!
So he jumps off his prad,
And unto an oak the animal ties:
So Hampshire Squire, when, at the din,
Of hare entrapped in poacher's gin,
His gentle pity melts;
Dismounts him from his gallant steed,
Murmuring, "A purty joak, indeed!"
And to the rescue pelts.
V.
Jack approached the Giant nigh,
But the monster was so deucedly high,
He could n't reach to his philabeg;
But he cut him a little about the leg.
The Giant, swearing, roared, "This is
A twinge of that beastly 'rheumatis.'
I 'll take a dose of 'Blair' to-night;
If I don't, I'm ———!" Said Sir Jack, "You 're right!"
And he fetched him a blow with all his might;
The ham-strings gave, the monster fell.
Did n't he screech, and did n't he yell!
Did n't the trees around him shake!
Did n't the earth to the centre quake!
Jack lent him a kick on his loggerhead,
And trod on his brawny neck, and said-
"Oh, barbarous wretch!
I'm Jack—Jack Ketch;
I am come for thy crimes to serve thee out;
Take this, and this,
Iss! iss! iss! iss!"
And he riddled the heart of the prostrate lout—
Dear me! how the blood did spout!
VI.
The lady fair, and the gentle knight,
Scarcely could believe their sight,
When they beheld the Giant "kick;"
Unseen the hand that struck the blow,
And one cried "Ha!" the other "O—h!"
Both making sure it was old Nick.
But joy illumes their wondering mien,
When, doffing his coat of "invisible green,"
Sir Jack appears before their eyes.
"Thanks!" cried the knight, "thou valour's pink!"
"Well!" said the lady, "only think!
Oh! thank you, saviour of our life!"
"Come home, sir, with myself and wife:—
After such work," the knight pursued—
"A little ale—" "You 'll think me rude,"
Said Jack, "but know, oh worthy peer!
I thirst for glory—not for beer.
I must rout out this monster's den,
Nor can I be at ease till then."
"Don't," begged the knight, "now don't, sir, pray,
Nor run another risk to-day;
Yon mount o'erhangs the monster's lair,
And his big brother waits him there,
A brute more savage than himself;
Then lay your courage on the shelf."
"No!" Sir Jack answered, "if I do,
May I be hanged! Now, mark me, you!
Were there twice ten in yonder hole,
Ere sinks behind yon crag the sun,
The gory head of every one
Before my feet should roll!
Farewell—I 'll call as I come back."
"Adieu," the knight replied; "Alack!
I had forgotten; here's my card."
"Thank you," said Jack, and "bolted hard."
VII.
Away, away, to the mountain cave,
Rides Jack at a spanking trot;
No Knight of the Poll-axe, all so brave,
Could have distanced him I wot!
The Gorgon's head you ne'er have seen—
Nor would it much avail,
To marble ears, Ï rather ween,
The bard to sing his tale.
But oft the Saracen's, I know,
Hath horrified your sight
On London's famous Hill of Snow,
Which is n't often white.
Such was the visage, but four times its size,
With a trunk to match, that our champion spies.
By the mouth of the cave on a chopping-block sitting,
Grinding his teeth and his shaggy brows knitting,
Was the Giant;—and rolling his terrible eyes
Like portentous meteors, they
Glimmered, glowed, and flashed away;
His cheeks and nose were fiery too;
Like wire on his chin the bristles grew;
And his tangled locks hung down his back,
Like the legs of a Brobdignag spider so black;
Ready, the thickest skull to crack
That ever county member wore,
His iron club beside him lay.
He was in a terrible way,
For he voted his brother's not coming a bore.
VIII.
The hero, Jack, dismounts to dress—
What was his toilet you may guess;
So may I be ever dight
When I bow me for the fight.
IX.
Like a cliff o'er ocean lowering,
Or some old and cross curmudgeon
Waiting, dinnerless, in dudgeon,
Sits the Giant glumly glowering.
Hears he not a whisper say,
"So there you are, old rascal, eh? "
Hears he not a step approaching,
Though he may n't the comer see?
No; like rogue by streamlet poaching,
Creeps Jack near him stealthily.