Tale Seventeen A Trip Across the Lake
“When Happiness comes knocking at my door,
I may not lift the latch to let her in,
Because, ah me! one forced his way before—
The ugly phantom of an ancient Sin.”
“It is a strange thing for me to want to tell you my story, but something about you inspires me with a desire to confide in you, even though I have not known you long.”
The speaker was tall with the angularity of an undeveloped school girl, although self-confessed twenty-one years of age. She had bright, laughing eyes, a large mouth, whose thick lips left an impression of coarseness. Her hair was very heavy and dark, and she wore it dressed low over her left eye, in the style of the day, which gave her an unnecessarily rakish appearance. Yet, notwithstanding her unprepossessing appearance, there was an indescribable something about her which drew one to her.
I assured her that I appreciated her confidence and thanked her for it.
“My parents were Methodists, and while I was carefully trained, they did not keep me under such strict surveillance that I was not able to have many liberties. At fifteen I was as large as I am now, and was in for every bit of fun there was going. I always had a crowd with me, and we rode our wheels everywhere (it was when the wheel craze was at its height). I played the piano then even more than I do now, and lots of times we would ride out to the parks and go to one of the club houses in the vicinity to rest and I would play the piano and they would dance. So the spring was passed, and mamma never reprimanded me if I was in the house by ten or ten thirty. She must have thought no harm could befall me as long as there was a crowd with me.
“One day mamma gave me permission to go to St. Joe with one of my girl friends. We left on the nine o’clock boat, and were to return on the one which arrives at midnight. We crossed without incident worthy of note. On the return I noticed a tall, fine looking fellow watching us. He was sitting on the upper deck. Girl like, my friend and I started up a flirtation. He came over and talked to us and finally my friend asked me to play. I did, and I have thought since that perhaps that was my chief attraction for him then, as he was very fond of music. In the meantime my friend had found some one to take up her time and Jack and I went up on deck by ourselves. We sat side by side and the gentle motion of the boat, the moon shining on the waters, the soft, warm breeze floating past us, were enchanting and very conducive to love-making. He was much older than I, but that made no difference to me. I thought only of the romantic situation, and wondered if fate had brought this prince of men to me. He kissed me and loved me as I had not imagined in my fondest dreams, and I drank it all in, and returned it with interest.
“Before the boat reached Chicago he gave me his name and address, and I had given him mine, and it was arranged that we should correspond. For several weeks I heard from him regularly and then came a long silence. At first I was hopeful, but at last my hope gave way to doubt, and I became morose. I refused to eat and became as miserable as a sentimental girl of fifteen could possibly be. I left school, finally, having prevailed upon my mother to allow me to learn stenography. She consented, thinking, I presume, that it was the best thing that could be done as long as I was in my present frame of mind, although the cause of it was all a mystery at the time.
“One night when I came home from school, I found a letter from the Alexian Brothers’ hospital, telling me of the severe illness of Jack, and that if I would see him alive, I must come at once. My heart was almost bursting with its strain of conflicting emotions. At one moment I was on the mountain top, filled with joy at the thought that he had not forgotten me; the next, down in the valley of despair, fearing his death.
“I told mamma the whole occurrence, and while she did not approve of an acquaintance made in such a way, she concluded to go with me to the hospital. When we arrived we talked to the nurse a few moments, and she told us that he had constantly called for Carrie in his delirium. He never mentioned my last name, and as a last resort they thought of looking through all his effects to see if there was anything among them which would throw light on the subject.
“In his coat pocket they found his last letter to me, which he had evidently not sent for some reason, and in this way they learned my address. They thought it best for mamma to remain outside at first, until they saw what effect, if any, my presence had upon him.
“I went up to the cot and kneeled beside it, putting my cool hand on his burning forehead, and whispered ‘Jack’ very softly.
“He ceased his ravings and seemed to be listening. I repeated his name and he murmured ‘Carrie.’
“That was the turning point in his disease. The fever abated and I continued to visit him almost daily, sometimes in company with mamma, sometimes alone. Mamma liked him very much indeed, and soon lost sight of the way I met him.
“When he had recovered sufficiently to go out, he came over to our house. He won papa over directly, a feat I had feared far more than that of winning mamma, for he was so set in his ways. He improved the first opportunity to ask papa for my hand, and he consented on condition that we wait one year at least, for he thought I was too young to assume the responsibilities of married life. So it was arranged. I continued with my shorthand, and after I finished found a nice position in a lawyer’s office.
“Jack would give me no peace until I would consent to marry him secretly. He said he was afraid he would lose me. So one day we stole away and were married. He was very tender with me, and taught me the beauty of married relations, so slowly and gently, that I was not shocked, as I might have been had he been different. To outward appearances he was only the devoted lover and I, being his fiancee, he was allowed to call as often as he chose and stay as late as he liked, for my parents had implicit confidence in him.
“One day, six months after we were married, a strange man called at the office to see me. I met him with a great deal of trepidation, fearing, I don’t know what.
“‘Is your name Carrie Barnes?’ said he.
“I said, ‘Yes, what do you want?’
“‘Do you know one Jack Bates?’
“‘I do,’ said I, now thoroughly aroused to anger. ‘Is it any of your business if I do?’
“He looked at me kindly, yet gravely, and replied in even tones, ‘I am sorry to say it is some of my business, and a very unpleasant business at that.’
“Then he asked me if there was not a private office where he could talk his business over with me. So I took him into Mr. Walton’s private office.
“He said, ‘Will you tell me what you know of Mr. Bates?’
“I told him I didn’t know anything against him, if that was what he was waiting to hear me say.
“‘Will you tell me what your relations are with him?’
“I could feel the blood leaving my face, and I must have repeated his question, for he said, ‘Yes, tell me whether you have ever had any relations with him which you should not hold.’
“‘I will not tell you a thing,’ said I. ‘Who are you and what do you mean by asking me such questions?’
“He was exasperated, I suppose, by my impudence, for he said, ‘I’ll tell you my business. I am an attorney representing my client, and in his behalf I am tracing the career of Jack Bates. It is known that he has been to your home frequently, and that you have been out together a great deal. It will be to your advantage to tell all you know.’
“At this critical juncture, I heard Mr. Walton coming. I ran out in the hall to meet him and managed to gasp out, ‘I want to see you a minute.’
“I told him what the man had said, and he said, ‘Carrie, tell me all about it. What do you know about him?’
“Then I told him we were married, and had been for six months. He scowled and said, ‘Bad, very bad. I advise you to tell the gentleman the whole affair, just as it is. Do not try to protect the man; let him stand on his own merits.’
“So I went back to the attorney.
“‘Well,’ he said, ‘are you ready to tell me all you know?’
“‘Yes,’ I said, ‘but I have not much to tell. It is only this. Mr. Bates and I were married six months ago, so I guess even you will admit that we had a right to be seen together often, if we chose to.’
“He said, ‘My child, I am sorry to be obliged to tell you, but the fact of the matter is, you are not his legal wife. I am representing the father of a girl fifteen years old, whom he has seduced, and in my investigations I have learned that he has a legal wife and one child living.’
“How do people live through such awful ordeals, yet possess their senses? I was young and believe that was my only salvation. The world turned suddenly as dark as death; all the sunshine and mirth had gone out of it. That night when I went home I saw other girls laughing and talking as if they had not a care in the world, and I wondered how they could do it. I was still stunned by the awful blow which had fallen upon me. I might have found a little consolation in talking to Jack, but even that was denied me, for the attorney told me that he had been taken into custody, arrested on the charge of seduction.
“I did not know what to do. I could not tell my parents of my marriage, for I knew my father’s pride and sternness, and I feared he would turn me out of doors when he knew the truth. I managed to live through the night somehow, and dragged myself to the office the next morning. Mr. Walton asked me if I had told my parents and I told him I had not, and asked him to break the news to me, which he consented to do.
“After he had gone I sat in the office trembling for the result.
“He came back at last, after what seemed to me an interminable length of time, and told me to go home. Mamma took me in her arms and tried to console me, but papa ignored my presence entirely and refused to speak to me for months.
“When Jack came to trial they brought his wife to appear against him; that is, it went against him, of course. She was a sweet young woman, just the age that I am now, twenty-one years, and he had married her as soon as she came out of the convent. I was not able to go on the witness stand, the shock of the whole thing had proved too much for me, so they took my deposition and the trial went on without me.”
“What was the result of the trial?” I asked.
“He was sentenced to a term in Joliet, and is serving his time there now, and I never want to see his hateful face again.
“His wife came to see me and brought her little year-old girl with her. The dear little thing was as bright and sweet as she could be, and my heart went out to both of them. Later, Jack’s mother came to see me, bent and worn with her grief and the disgrace her only son had brought upon her.”
“And what became of the other girl?”
“Oh, she died of a broken heart, so they say. What a world of misery one man can create!
“I was very ill for a long time, and when I recovered my father felt very differently toward me; he seemed to be reconciled to the affair, and I was fully forgiven.
“I simply existed for two years, not caring for anything. I met Harold about this time, and you know the rest.
“He took me knowing all, and we are quite happy; at least, I try to make him happy, but I can never forget that first awful disappointment. It rises like a specter at the very moment I think I have forgotten.”