- 1Epigraph — A Fun-Loving and Humor-Loving Man
- 2Matrimonial Advice
- 3A Slow Horse
- 4A Vain General
- 5Had Confidence in Him — “But”
- 6Hardtack Better Than Generals
- 7Douglas Held Lincoln’s Hat
- 8His Passes to Richmond Not Honored
- 9Lincoln as a Dancer
- 10Loved Soldiers’ Humor
- 11Wanted to “Borrow” the Army
- 12“Fixed Up” a Bit for the “City Folks”
- 13Cold Molasses Was Swifter
- 14“Don’t Kill Him With Your Fist”
- 15Praises His Rival for Office
- 16Had to Wait for Him
- 17Make Something Out of It, Anyway
- 18Sorry for the Horses
- 19Noise Like a Turnip
- 20Let Six Skunks Go
- 21One Thing “Abe” Didn’t Love
- 22The Man He Was Looking for
- 23Wanted Stanton Spanked
- 24Six Feet Four at Seventeen
- 25Just Like Seward
- 26“Abe” Got the Worst of It
- 27He “Set ’Em Up”
- 28God With a Little “G”
- 29What Ailed the Boys
- 30“Major-General, I Reckon”
- 31It Tickled the Little Woman
- 32He’d See It Again
- 33Sure Cure for Boils
- 34Justice vs. Numbers
- 35Lincoln Saw Stanton About It
- 36Sleep Standing Up
- 37“Abe’s” Little Joke
- 38How “Fighting Joe” Was Appointed
- 39No Others Like Them
- 40The Dandy and the Boys
- 41Boat Had to Stop
- 42Ran Away When Victorious
- 43He “Skewed” the Line
- 44“How Do You Get Out of This Place?”
- 45Hell a Mile From the White House
- 46’Twas “Moving Day”
- 47“Abe’s” Hair Needed Combing
- 48Right for Once, Anyhow
- 49“Smelt No Royalty in Our Carriage”
- 50Something for Everyone
- 51Reminded Him of “A Little Story”
- 52Big Enough Hog for Him
- 53How “Jake” Got Away
- 54“Abe” Resented the Insult
- 55Stories Better Than Doctors
- 56“All Sicker’n Your Man”
- 57Lincoln Asked to Be Shot
- 58He Couldn’t Wait for the Colonel
- 59He Loved a Good Story
- 60The Dead Man Spoke
- 61Lincoln Pronounced This Story Funny
- 62Lincoln’s Apology to Grant
- 63A Useless Dog
- 64He’d Ruin All the Other Convicts
- 65It Was Up-Hill Work
- 66His “Glass Hack”
- 67Could Lick Any Man in the Crowd
- 68No Deaths in His House
- 69Lincoln’s Name for “Weeping Water”
- 70Easier to Empty the Potomac
- 71A “Free for All”
- 72The Other One Was Worse
- 73Could Make “Rabbit-Tracks”
- 74Peter Cartwright’s Description of Lincoln
- 75Wished the Army Charged Like That
- 76“Uncle Abraham” Had Everything Ready
- 77Didn’t Trust the Court
- 78“Tad” Got His Dollar
- 79Rough on the Negro
- 80“Long Abe’s” Feet “Protruded Over”
- 81Lost His Certificate of Character
- 82The Case of Betsy Ann Dougherty
- 83“Fooling” the People
- 84Her Only Imperfection
- 85He “Broke” to Win
- 86“Bap.” McNabb’s Rooster
- 87Lincoln’s First Speech
- 88Too Many Pigs for the Teats
- 89More Pegs Than Holes
- 90Few, but Boisterous
- 91The Presidential “Chin-Fly”
- 92“Webster Couldn’t Have Done More”
- 93Long and Short of It
- 94‘Squire Bagly’s Precedent
- 95Tom Corwin’s Latest Story
- 96The Cabinet Was A-Settin’
- 97A Bullet Through His Hat
- 98The General Was “Headed in”
- 99Wanted to Burn Him Down to the Stump
- 100Challenged All Comers
- 101Withdrew the Colt
- 102Sweet, but Mild Revenge
- 103“Catch ’Em and Cheat ’Em”
- 104A Juryman’s Scorn
- 105“Tad” Introduces “Our Friends”
- 106Stood Up the Longest
- 107Admired the Strong Man
- 108Saved Lincoln’s Life
- 109Would Blow Them to H ——
- 110“I Can Stand It If They Can”
- 111A Mortifying Experience
- 112Grant Held on All the Time
- 113Every Little Helped
- 114Kept Up the Argument
- 115Thought of Learning a Trade
- 116The Same Old Rum
- 117Couldn’t Let Go the Hog
- 118His Knowledge of Human Nature
- 119Took Nothing but Money
- 120Creditor Paid Debtor’s Debt
- 121Conscripting Dead Men
- 122Major Anderson’s Bad Memory
- 123Settled Out of Court
- 124No Vanderbilt
- 125Lincoln Mistaken for Once
- 126“Done With the Bible”
- 127Satisfaction to the Soul
- 128His Teeth Chattered
- 129Profanity as a Safety-Valve
- 130A Stage-Coach Story
- 131Sentinel Obeyed Orders
- 132“Wuz Goin’ Ter Be ‘Hitched’”
Abe Lincoln’s Anecdotes and Stories
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